To be so homesick I feel like I’ve ruined my life.

[BordjyBoo]

Please talk some sense into me. And be gentle. I’m 23, me and my DP have just moved into our first home and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I literally feel like I’m going insane. I can’t stop missing my family. I thought I was so ready for this and I was so excited but now I just feel terrible. I only live 15mins from my parents but I feel like I can’t stay away from their house or stop messaging them.

I never ever thought I would feel like this but I do! I need someone to give me some sense :( every time I pull up to the house I have a knot in my stomach and I just can’t get my head around not seeing my family every day. It’s so weird. This is really unlike me, I’m very close to my parents and was very ready for this as had outgrown having just a bedroom.

I find myself filling up with tears at literally anything and I’m not sleeping well. I feel awful and sorry for my parents for leaving them. When I visit them I literally feel no better. I’ve been here 3 days and off work so have nothing else to occupy my thoughts. What on Earth is wrong with me ? Has this happened to anyone else? Will it pass? My new home is lovely and DP is working tirelessly to make it a home. He’s younger than me and doesn’t feel like this. I feel like my brain has been replaced with this alien one and my thoughts are so intrusive. If someone had asked me if I thought I’d feel like this I would have said surely not.

I’m cracking up

I moved out when I was 20 and I think I felt like this for a year!
I then got my lovely dog and felt a lot better.

When we moved we put pictures and photos up the next day. Made a huge difference and made the place feel much more familiar and less stark.

I think it's fine to feel unsettled, normal even. I was never that bothered by moving house, but it always took several months to settle when I moved country, longer if there was a new language as well. But these are all just degrees of difference, you are clearly quite sensitive to change so give yourself time. At least you still know the area, you're not going to get lost driving home and you know where the supermarket is for instance, so quite a lot has stayed the same.

Try to focus on new things that make you feel happy, little things work best. Find the sunniest spot or the best view for your morning coffee, buy lovely new bed linen or a fluffy cushion for the sofa and then admire the things that you like to reinforce your warm feelings for your new home. Try to gloss over minor irritations like stairs that squeak or a toaster that doesn't brown your toast evenly (yes, I have been bothered by those things), don't let your brain keep obsessing about the bad stuff.