AIBU: oh dear, a parking thread (my debut)

[Nerdybeethoven]

We share a drive with our neighbours. The idea is each house has a parking space in front, then there's a shared drive which is just over a car-width, but really it's for access not parking on (from the days when people used to park their cars in the back gardens/garages)

I had problems with previous CF neighbours parking on it permanently, and then their visitors parking on it. So I'm alert to how much irritation it can cause.

Newer neighbours have been slightly better with the parking but are generally noisy, messy CFs. Today is the worst bit of parking I've seen (a visitor next door). Possibly because they think they're being helpful, they've parked more over their side than ours, but they're still on the shared bit, blocking half the pavement (which doesn't affect me but as a pedestrian it's annoying) and blocking our car in.

Thing is, we don't need to get our car out this evening. And they probably think we have room to get out anyway.(although DH isn't great a getting out of tight corners, and why should he have to, on his own drive).

So, do I let it go this time? Or do I ask them to move their car purely because hypothetically there are 3 reasons not to park it like that. They have so far (in 11 months since they moved in) showed a high level of not-giving-a-shit but have probably already formed an opinion of me as being a silly cow (because I shouted out of the window a few weeks ago at 1 am to ask them to stop standing outside our windows talking.

I don't want them to think they can get away with it regularly. As it is there's lots of coming and going but usually their visitors only park there when dropping off / picking up stuff or people, and then move.
There are plenty of parking spaces on the road, including right outside their house. They've been there for over an hour already so it's not just a drop off.

Mmmmm. Difficult one. Either way I'm a bit wound up.

Might send DH round.

I think you need an tub of icecream, or a packet of crisps, or something.
Ask them to move, and take the car out for 15 mins.

If you needed to get out, fair enough to ask them to move. But you don't need to, so leave it. Why make hassle for yourself.

Look - I even managed a scruffy diagram

DH has just come in and said no point in asking for the sake of it. I'm irritated though. He offered to go and pick DS up, just to make a point, whereas I'm just about to set off on foot.

It was probably only a matter of time before they started becoming complete dicks about the parking. The bloke who lives there is ok with his vehicle but his bloody mates seem not to have a clue...

Why don't you reverse onto your drive?

Get him to drive to pick up DS to make the point your need access 24/7

He's just asked visitor to move and from body-language (peeping out of the window), it seems that (female) visitor was totally charming and may even have apologised.

So, DS will wonder what on earth is going on that his Dad turns up to pick him up from school by bloody car (he's been at an afterschool event). It's always Mummy on foot. We only live 15 mins walk away.

Mountainsided: the thing is we don't need access 24/7 and they know that as I don't drive and DH goes to work by train. We use the car so infrequently that from time to time we have to scrap moss off of the south-facing windows.... It's the principle. Thing is, I've really grown to immensely dislike them for various reasons!

Also, terrible time to be going out as the traffic is shit at this time of evening.

Feeling very un eco-friendly.

Sorry if this has turned into a very boring parking thread! It's such a gear-grinder, though, isn't it - if you pardon the pun.

Would it not make sense for next door's visitors to park further down the shared drive by the side of their house? That way it wouldn't affect your access. I also wouldn't start assuming it would be a regular issue, it's happened once and she was very apologetic

How they've parked makes no sense, as they could have done the same up against your neighbours drive and left exactly the same amount of space on the shared drive. Without blocking you in.

Also the fact that they absolutely don't think that it's dangerous and inconsiderate to block half the pavement. I see that so much on my hot-footing around the place. I fear for my kids walking to and from school. Heaven knows what it's like if you're a wheelchair user.

DS is 14 and generally walks to and from school on his own, or with his brother, but I always go and meet him if it's after dark and rush hour as the fuck-wittery of some drivers is just terrifying.

Oops, didn't check the labelling... please ignore my previous post..

They probably thought they were being helpful.

I dunno, maybe I’m just particularly easy going, but if I didn’t need to use my car it wouldn’t bother me if I was blocked in by me next door neighbour.

It might bother me if they parked their car there all the time at times when they weren’t home, but if it’s just a visitor I really don’t see the hassle in knocking on the door, very occasionally, to say you need to get out.

I think you’ve made your point to the neighbours, but at least it was a visitor and not them. These little things annoy me too, and I probably would have found the excuse to use the car to make a point too. Otherwise if the neighbours think you rarely use the car, they’ll start blocking you in more and more without a second thought.

Yes, they could have parked further up on the shared drive which is what the previous neighbour did permanently. Never having asked permission and it was really rude and annoying. Just about enough room to squeeze past on foot, but not enough room with a bike or to bring the bins though. Then his visitors used to line up their cars behind his and block our car in.

However, I really don't want the new-ish ones to get into that habit as it's a bit of a cheek. Likewise, I don't like my visitors parking on the shared bit, unless it's just briefly. I tell DH not to park there for long either (sometimes he moves the car into the shared bit if we're loading bikes onto the back).

The bleeding obvious thing to do was to park in the bay in front of the house which has been free all evening (and she is now parked in)! If all the nearby bays had been full, I'd have been more understanding. This is often the case during the day as other CFs park in our road to walk to the station and so visitors sometimes have no option but to park in the shared drive (mine have to do it too). But not so in the evening.

For context: a couple of weeks ago a car full of the bloke's mates (employees / work mates - I dunno) pulled in very noisily into the shared drive, with the radio blaring. I didn't think anything of it until it'd been going on 10 minutes or so. Looked out of the window and 3 or 4 blokes are squatting in my drive, right by my front door, smoking. While talking loudly, over the car and the car radio, to the neighbour standing on his doorstep. Weird.

And, as I say, so many people coming and going. Dropping off stuff (wood mainly) which sits in the shared drive for weeks. Always leave late and noisily and stand around talking at 1 am. I don't mind now and again but it was just relentless over the summer. They've spilt oil in the shared drive and not cleaned it up and paint on the pavement outside.

Basically they're noisy and scummy. I tried really hard to be friendly when they moved in. And encourage the kids to chat to theirs. But, actually, I now dislike them!

Singapore: I hope it's at least made them realise that we do sometimes get the car out. I don't want to make a habit of having to get it out just to prove we do / can!

My bigger worry is that someone will park it there and then fuck off and there won't be anyone at home when we ask them to move it. Then I would really be furious!

HotinWinter - I like your thinking. Glass of wine, though, I think.

I freely admit it. I am uptight! I'm glad DH dealt with it as I do tend to get it all a bit wrong. I get cross, and then go too much the other way and I'm apologetic. Passive-aggressive. I make myself cringe.

Ah, now you’ve said you sometimes need to park in the shared drive, I think you should stop too. It doesn’t matter if it’s daytime or evening, why is it ok for you to do it during the day but they can’t in the evening?

Given your temperament I don't think you should live in a house with a shared drive, this seems to be causing you a lot more stress than is necessary. When you have shared side with someone there needs to be a bit more of a relaxed approach. You also sound very judgy labelling them as scummy because they have wood delivered and smoke outside...

I think once about 2 years ago someone who was doing some work for me parked in the shared drive and I put a note through the neighbours door to explain.

And a couple of times a friend has pulled in whilst dropping off a child. Maximum 2 mins. Bit different. As I said if the parking bays were full it'd been different but they weren't.

Mrs Strowman: you're quite right! Maybe we could have a whip round to buy me a new house. I would LOVE not to share a drive!

Ok, well you’d just said sometimes your visitors have no other option. You didn’t say it was for 2 minutes, you just said it was different because it was during the day, which I don’t think is different.

Anyway, your DH has sorted it and hopefully they’ve got the message.