MIL and Presents

[CrazyAnnoyance]

MIL had two granddaughters our dd7 and Dh's neice 13 and every Christmas always buys them the same presents so its fair. But the problem is it's always tailored to what dn likes/wants.

Last year they got a sewing machine, Make up and heels . Dd has no interest in these. While she's very thankful for anything she receives, you can see the disappointment in her eyes while her cousins around the same age get toys they like.

Wibu to say something to mil? I just think she's wasting her money and it isn't really been 'fair on dd?

This is branded make up though. No need to throw it imo.

Buy your MIL the same as your FIL and make it something she would never use. Tell her it's so it's fair.

She sounds incredibly dim.

Your DH needs to stop hinting and be direct: tell her she's buying completely inappropriate and unwanted items for a child and to stop treating her like her teenage niece.

If she doesn't listen just send them back stating whilst dd appreciates the gifts they will be unused as a 7 year old tastes are different to a 13 year old, and you hope she understands and maybe she can pass them onto an older girl.

As hard as it is, sometimes you just have to be blunt! Tell mil that her previous gifts have been unacceptable and tell her exactly what your dd wants from her grandmother this year. Then tell her if she doesn’t want to buy a suitable gift then please don’t bother at all.

Ask your husband to give her this harsh home truth though.

I had this with my Mil, in the end I suggested to her that I buy something that I think my dd will like and she can give me the money for it otherwise its a waste especially if its an inappropriate gift.

Mil is happy for me to do this especially as I wrap it up as well and dd gets something that she will use.

It always amazes me how some people are so rubbish at buying gifts. You either keep it generic or you ask them for some hints as to what they like. It is really not rocket science.

Dh went round after work to speak to her to be told she will not have favouritism between the gc so the girls will continue to get the same as will the boys. Plus she has already purchased and wrapped this year's gifts.

Well that's ridiculous. That is favouritism, towards the child who the presents are aimed at.

The make up last year she swapped with my 16 year old sister for some lol dolls Santa accidentally left her

Tell her this is what DD would really appreciate from you. She was disappointed with last year's presents because she hasn't been able to use them. If you don't want to buy from the suggestions then please just give us or DD the money you are prepared to spend so that she or we can avoid disappointment by choosing something suitable.

Tell her that DD is not her cousin, and vice versa. They are people in their own right and totally separate age groups. They should be treated as such.

MIL bought my 3 year old the same "kids makeup" she bought her 8yo granddaughter.
I binned it.

Why didn't you donate to charity shop or sell it? If it's unopened it can be used by someone else.

My guess is that you have brought DD up well so that she doesnt show her feelings to MIL about the rubbish presents.

I would let DD be openly disappointed with the presents as she opens them this year. You can console her with the thought of giving the presents away 'again' so that MIL is quite aware of the outcome.

Yes, console her out loud.

Why don't you ask her to get DD the same as the boys? That sounds fairer than getting her the same as the 13 year old.

Maybe you could do the same with her and FIL (if he is around?). Or her and your own mother? Buy what your mum likes and give her the exact same - if she complains, say you don't want to play favourites.

I think the 13 year old or her parents need to have a word with MIL, do you get on well enough with them to ask for help with this?