AIBU not to tell a prospective employer about reasons I quit my job?

[Milliepede]

Not really AIBU but am posting for traffic.
I really, really hate where I am working. So much so that I can't sleep, am vomiting at the thought of going into work and it is having a significant, adverse impact on my home life because I am so miserable. This is not me, in the past usually I breeze into work, occupy my own little bubble, do my job and go home. Like everyone else I do have a moan but it is generally ok for me and I have never been phyically ill at the thought of going to work.
I am on the sick form my current job and have decided I AM NOT GOING BACK (they dont know yet), I can't cope with it, it is making me ill. I have a job interview soon and my intention is, whatever the outcome of the interview, regarding my current job to hand in my notice and work agency until something permanent comes up.
So my question is, how do I tell any permanent employer about me being so miserable that I quit my job without it looking bad or do I lie and make up some excuse?
A bit more info - I have not been in my current post very long, just six weeks, I am an NHS nurse so getting work would not necessarily be a problem for me outside the NHS.
Any advice would be most appreciated as I am feeling pretty desperate.

Honestly, if I was interviewing someone who told me this, I wouldn't hire them. My business is stessful, busy, hard work and I need people who can handle that. I wouldnt hire someone who just told me they vomit and cry at the idea of going into work... I just wouldn't trust them to be able to handle working. Sorry.

I think you want a prepared answer - so it could be : it wasn't the working environment for me I wanted to move on before I became embedded in the team - I am looking for a role that offers... or something that fits your situation without any emotional aspect.

It's absolutely none of their business!

A prospective employer needs to know you can do your job, you are fit for the role and everything else is personal.

If you want to tell them, it's your perogative, but I personally find this question in interviews incredibly inappropriate. I've been on both sides of this, and I'm going to be honest. In 95% of cases people leave jobs because they don't like them. Don't like their boss or similar. They convince themselves it's the commute or something else so they have an excuse when asked at interview.

When companies start waking up to the fact that happy employees don't leave... The better we'll all be!

Tell the truth, professionally and tactfully. One thing looking forward and one looking back. Presumably there are serious systemic issues if it's making you that miserable? So, something along the lines of: I'm looking for a more positive culture with better work life balance (or whatever), and also looking forward to stretching my blardy blah skills more.

I think I'd go with looking for a different challenge. Don't say anything negative about your current employer/ job.

I would think that unless your current illness is totally unrelated to stress it may be be better to resign then do some bank work whilst looking for a post either in or out of the nhs.

The nhs are very risk adverse to mental health conditions so I would do my best to apply whilst well, doing temp work and researching areas you love. In respect to why you left this post you can honestly say that it wasn’t the job you thought it was and you decided to leave almost straight away. Hopefully you have some more solid experience behind you to show you aren’t likely to do the same again?

Good luck, nursing in a hideous atmosphere is awful.

Agree with the PP. If I mentioned it at all (and at 6 weeks you could just leave it off the application form) I’d say that you realised very quickly that it was not the right role for you and so felt it best to cut your losses and move on. If you can give any concrete reasons (commute too long, type of work is not what you are best at etc) all the betterbut don’t mention that you hate it. You need to show you went into this job with the best of intentions but it’s not a good fir, and present wanting to move as a positive choice that benefits both your current employer and you.

Agree with others - don't mention the vomiting etc, focus on the underlying reasons it isn't working, and phrase it positively. So don't say that you left due to lack of support, but that you are looking for a team with more support etc.
In your place I'd be relatively honest, because it's in both your and their interests if you are open about not being able to cope with certain environments, otherwise you might end up with the same situation again.

Sorry, I’m making the assumption you are off sick with stress. This will come to light during the hiring process hence my recommendation to leave and do bank work to create some space.

@ Iaimtomisbehave1.
I have never, in my working life experienced job related stress that I have not been able to cope with. I am a nurse, I am used to stressful situations and heavy workloads; in fact I have a reputation as being very zen like and one of the people who can handle stressful situations. My response to it has shocked me to say the least. I find the work boring and I do not fit in with the team, again something that I have never experienced. Before I started this post I had heard from various sources that the team were not very friendly or welcoming. I normally ignore gossip and speak as I find but in this case it was correct. For example, I went in one day, said good morning and not one person even looked at me in acknowledgement, I sit on my own and lunchtime, on the whole am ignored when I try to instigate conversation and am treated with utter contempt. The team has trouble retaining staff and is always advertising for staff, that alone should have been a massive red flag.

You've only been in this job for a few weeks. Go and work at an agency for a while, relax and get over this experience. Then when you apply for another job, simply omit any details about this current job. Say you had a long holiday to explain the short blank space on your resumé. Good luck !

If you weren't signed off, I think it would be easy to put a positive spin on things. Unfortunately if the reason for sick leave is stress, I agree with the poster that a better option might be to go bank for a bit.

They do not know the real reasons for me being on the sick, I have a long term condition that I am using as an excuse. Wrong I know.

say personal reasons?

Is it bad though to say you hate the job and find the whole dynamic unfriendly and miserable. Surely as management they know they have a retention issue and should they not be considering why and addressing it?

or am I being naïve?

If you have only been in the job for 6 weeks and your new employer is not the NHS, don't even mention that job. Do not mention the fact that you were stressed or vomiting.

You have coped well before. You will thrive again. Do not mention that blip - did I already say that? As someone who frequently interviews, it distracts the interviewer who is forced to consider whether or not you will find the new company's work environment stressful or normal - they have no reliable way of telling and if you try to explain away at the interview why the previous work environment was super toxic, you end up sounding like a precious snowflake and brittle flower, even if you are not.

There is no guaranteed way you can spin this without putting a question mark in the interviewer's mind.

So just avoid the topic and imagine a fresh start.

I have told my managers that I hate the place, the reasons why and that I am actively looking for other posts. To be fair to them, they are trying their best to help me and have acknowledged that there have been issues in the team regarding treatment of staff by higher grades. From the start it was evident to me that the team is very divided, it is an amalgmation of two previous teams and it doesn't work. I have a friend who started working there at the same time as me and she hates it for the same reasons that I do. That gives me some peverse solace as I am thinking that it isn't just me. Fortunately we don't have a mortgage so I have the luxury of being able to leave with the intention of doing agency/bank work, my poor friend doesn't have that.

I think what a PP said about phrasing the truth positively is the best advice. If you say "well, the last team I worked with were [everything you said]" then the interviewer doesn't know if that's actually true or whether you are just (sorry) hard work. If you say "well, I am looking to work in an environment with... [positive trait/s]" then you are flattering the interviewer by saying something good about your impression of their team and why you want to work for them.

I would definitely go back to work for a bit with the view to making applications for a new job. Do one thing TODAY that is related to getting that new job, then go back to the rotten job knowing you are on your way out.
Apply for the new job and say that this you are leaving the old job because something like, it's more convenient travel wise because of X Y and Z or some other PRACTICAL thing related to the new job not because of any difficulty with the people or the employer in the old job.
When giving the reason for leaving the new job, say it's because your elderly Aunt lives alone in the next street over beside the new job and now she needs you call into her every day on the way home or some such!
If doing agency work then on leaving the horrible job say an elderly relative/family friend that meant you needed to do agency work for a while to be flexible.

I think I would say (at interview / to prospective employers) that it wasn't a good fit / not as described to you before starting. However, bear in mind that they might want to contact them for a reference and a standard question is how many days sick did you have.

I would just take those six weeks off your CV/application form. If you can get a bit of temp work in to make sure it isn't your most recent job, so much the better. Then pretend the six weeks never happened.

Almost nobody tells their employers why they are really quitting their jobs? Otherwise nobody would ever new jobs.

I would suggest you use standard reasons like you feel you've outgrown your current role and are looking for new opportunities to grow and develop, want a new challenge and other similar positive reasons like everyone else.

It's never a good idea to stay in a job until the point where you want to leave so much that you would take on any job that comes along next,so try not to jump into any old job and attempt to determine what actually attracts you to the role you are applying for, so you can genuinely state that as one of the reasons why you want the new job.

Whatever you do, don't tell any prospective employer you want to leave your current job because you can't stand it to the point of vomiting! While this may well be true, remember that the new employer has no clue as to the atmosphere in the company you work for now is and therefore, in the eyes of new employer, it's a 50/50 chance that it may be your current employer or it may be you. I don't know any employer who would want to take that chance unless you have such rare skills that are so difficult to find in the market that they might consider it!

Best of luck and remember not to jump into any old job to escape your current job as this is how people normally go from frying pans into the fires!

Good advice from tigger.

I would not give a reason as an elderly relative or some such as it shows you prioritise your domestic arrangements over work. We are all entitled to a personal life but it is not great to rub a new employer's face in it from the get go, even if the employer is family friendly. All things being equal, they will choose a professional committed employee over someone who is going to be nipping in and out for personal reasons.