To be upset with my friend?

[WinnieWill]

I feel like she does what she wants with no regard for me :/

Eg we had plans for her to stay at mine in a few weeks time while she in my city for a family event - she has now casually gone back on them, and will stay with family instead. But - and this is what winds me up - she hasn’t apologised for changing the plan, she’s jist announced it as if she’s done nothing wrong...

Eg2 she asked if I wanted to go travelling with her next year. Very loose plans were made, nothing set in stone, but entirely driven by her. Fast forward a few months and I ask her about it, I’m still keen, and she breezily says she’s not going now as her plans have changed - I do get that life happens but she has done this so much recently and it’s really hard to take her at her word

Am sorry this happened.
I would simply do just that - not take her at her word and move her to the friend but not close friend zone. If she cares she will notice and perhaps bring it up but if she doesn't then you know for sure what kind of friend she is.

I hear you, it's annoying behaviour, but do you want to stay friends with her, despite this fault? You've got to either say something, let the friendship slide, or just put up with the flakiness if she's worth it.

It’s happened on a few repeated occasions now.

I want to say something - particularly as she comes down quite hard on me if I change plans/am flakey

Can anyone advise what to say without sounding petty? As I say I do understand that life gets in the way/things happen, but I’m fed up of being treated as an option and not prioritised wrt such plans.

She sounds like one of those people who 'thinks aloud' - she says what's in her head at that moment. To her she is verbalising what could happen or what would be nice but she doesn't see it as firm plans. Its infuriating, but I think you have to take what she suggests with a pinch of salt. If she suggests something, say 'That sounds great, I'll leave that in your hands then let me know' this will avoid the disappointment.

Sounds like my flaky friend. She always comes down on me if I don't reply to a text about her 'plans' when I know that she'll change them anyway. She genuinely seems to think she is the only person who has any commitments and that everyone else can work around her.

You are right, it'll be hard to say anything without sounding petty. I have distanced myself from my friend as I find it too frustrating trying to rearrange my schedule around her ever changing plans. However, she's not a bad person, nobody's perfect, and I would hate for my irritation on this one issue to build up into dislike. So, keeping an emotional distance is the better option.

You could wait until she suggests something and say "That sounds good, honestly though you've done this a few times now, made plans and changed them again so come back to me nearer the time if you still want to do it and if I am still free I will"

Thanks all, I’m really hurt!

I have a friend like this. I now include others in plans so I'm not let down completely or just expect her to cancel & do my own thing! I decided if I didn't invest much time worrying or thinking about it then it wouldn't upset me!