AIBU to not attend funeral?

[isitme2018]

It is my husband's grandmothers funeral tomorrow.
I lost my mother almost 6 months ago. It was very unexpected and I haven't grieved properly yet as I think I am still in shock. I know it is a cliche but she really was my best friend.

I want to go to the funeral to pay my respects and also to support my husband but here is the thing:
The funeral is taking place at the same crematorium we had my mums funeral at. It is with the same directors, so same cars, same directors, same priest at the crem, 2 of the songs chosen are 1-one of my mothers favourites and 2- a popular song about losing your mum.
The wake is even being held at the funeral home afterwards.

I know it sounds extremly selfish of me but I just don't know how I will get through the day. it has only been 5 months since my mums funeral and as much as I want to support my husband I am also 36 weeks pregnant and don't want my own emotions to come out when it isnt about me.

I haven't said anything to my husband yet but he has said several times if I am not up for it then he completly understands.
I had a big cry and a little panic attack in the bath earlier. I just dont know what to do.

would i be unreasonable if i didnt go?

Not unreasonable at all

Not unreasonable. It's too raw. Totally understandable

Eight years after my Mum's death I cannot set foot in the church where we had the funeral, so no you are not being unreasonable at all. And at 36 weeks pregnant you need to be taking extra special care of yourself. It's not being selfish, it's being sensible. Much love to you

Absolutely not being unreasonable. Do not feel guilty.
Tell your DH what you've said on your op. It appears he already understands anyway.
In fact, he may actually be a bit relieved if you don't go, because he will be able to support his bereaved parent, rather than have to worry about how you are coping IYSWIM.
This is his grandparent, not his parent. It is also likely that his loss, however much he loved his GP, is not as hard for him as you losing your Mum is for you. (I know grief is not competitive but couldn't think of another way to word that.)
It might be worth a little white lie for both of you to say you are not well tomorrow, rather than have to try to explian why you could not face the funeral though.
for both you and DH

Not unreasonable, if ur DP completely understands his family should too.
Just be honest.. best wishes