AIBU to expect to spend more time with him

[MazEC77]

AIBU to expect to spend more than one night a week with my new bf? We've been together for 8weeks. He's quite happy for one midweek night at his place..we don't always have sex..but always has an excuse not to spend weekends etc. I'm 48 he's 55. I have grown up kids he doesn't have any. AIBU to expect more than this? I'm widowed he's never been married. When I broach the subject he always says "I'll sort it" but never does. Always on a Friday he has some excuse so I won't even ask about the weekend... I've got a mates bday I've forgotten about, I've got man flu, last weekend was a water infection for crying out loud. AIBU or should I just throw the towel in? We both work full time. Thanx folks

YABU you're barely dating at 8 weeks. I'd think you were a bit needy after only 2m tbh.

Also... maybe he does have a wife and that weeknight is when she stays away? 🤔

Thank you. I'm at a loss tbf. I just thought that in a new relationship you'd be more keen to spend time with someone. It's been a few years since I've dated so maybe I am expecting too much

Could he be married or in a relationship?

There's absolutely no signs of a woman living in his flat. I've met his best friend etc etc I just can't weigh it up. It's the weekend thing that's annoying me. I know there's something not quite right but can't put my finger on it

He’s seeing someone else too?

It’s less about the frequency and more the fact he won’t upgrade you to a weekend night. You’re not a priority to him and he’d rather keep his weekends free for others. I’d ditch him personally.

I'm starting to think there's someone else tbh just don't know how to prove it

Equalityumber thank you. I know it just needed to hear it

His flat might not be his actual home.

Adaline that's a very good point. It's doing my head in tbh. I work every other weekend and my time off is precious. I'm not needy I just need to know where I stand. I've been widowed seven years and am happy on my own...just don't want to waste time and effort when there's no point

I'd say other family. Definitely a reason. I'd bin him off, waste of your time.

I’d take a step back and see what pans out.

He's probably seeing other women, wants to keep weekends free to go to pubs and such to pursue women.

What's the longest relationship he's been in?

I don't think after 8 weeks a midweek date plus some time (evening or afternoon) on a weekend is unreasonable. Definitely not coming across as needy.

I've took a step back..he still contacts me every day etc etc. His longest relationship was 10yrs but that ended ages ago. He's been a medical rep travelling the country for the last 6yrs but has now got a full time job that doesn't involve travel so is at home every night. I'm hoping there's no family but the odds obviously aren't stacked in my favour

Weathermonger thank you. I have a fab circle of friends and could fill in every night of the week if I need to. Just don't understand why you wouldn't want to spend time with someone

Could he be married or in a relationship?

Well I've called him out on it. Says he's busy for the next 3week ends but is free after that. No thanks mate I'll give it a miss. Walking away with my dignity intact. Thanks everyone x

It's only been eight weeks, if he has arrangements for the next few weekends but is free after that surely that's ok? It's quite common when first dating to not even see each other every week...

At 8 weeks, and you think it could go somewhere, you WANT to see them, WANT a bit of passion and spontaneity. OP is not talking marriage or moving but it seems so pedestrian so early.

Think you have made the right decision.

You've made the right decision Op ❤

I kno. Thanks everyone