'Friend' has stopped talking to me...

[MehhDays]

I've NC as I don't want to be outed.

So someone I work with ans considered a friend has suddenly stopped speaking to me.

Last week I was pulled up by my manager about my professionalism during a training session. It was a misunderstanding and it has all been ironed out now. Nothing serious.

When this happened inconfided in my friend, said how confused I was, didn't know what's happened etc. She said she didn't know what I had done wrong either etc.

The next day in work, she didn't talk to me. All day without so much as a hi and at the end of the day she ran off without so much as a bye (we usually chat and leave together). I messaged her that day and asked what was up and she said nothing all was fine etc. However, the next day she was the same. Today too.

She's been happy chatting to everyone else but won't look at me or engage in conversation at all.

I think she's distanced herself from me because she thinks I'm in trouble and doesn't want to be seen to be my friend.

I'm a little hurt because I've always tried my best to help her and be there for her when she's needed it.

I'm not going to ask her again or chase after her. It's just funny how people can change over night...

Maybe it is down to whatever the issue was which lead to you being pulled up. Were you unpleasant to anyone else?

No I wasn't unpleasant at all. The training was weeks ago, so I didn't do something then to upset friend.

Sounds like it has something to do with whatever has happened with the meeting and you being in trouble as it is too much of a coincidence with it being the next day...... has it been office gossip at all? Has it got anything to do with anyone else? She could be trying to be seen as not your friend anymore as maybe there’s a bit of gossip about it and she doesn’t wanna be dragged into?
Not a true friend anyways. Unfortunately people can and do this a lot and it hurts, especially when you work with them you have no escape really, maybe play her at her own game and see what happens, sorry no good advice x

So, she's either heard a different or exaggerated story about what happened in the training, or it's something else unrelated to the training. Whatever it is, she's not being honest by not at least talking about it with you, seems to have decided that whatever she heard was aneough to distance herself.

Different set of circumstances (I was promoted above my office "friend", who could have gone for the promotion but didn't), but this happened to me too. I found it really gutting and upsetting as I thought we had a genuine friendship. Literally the day the promotion was announced she stopped talking to me. When I left the organisation, after a few drinks at my leaving do she tried to smooth it over and said "lets be friends again". Unfortunately by that stage the damage had been done. I think the truth is that not all work colleagues are true friends. There are all sorts of agendas at play.

I don't think she's heard another version as she was on the training too. I do agree maybe she wasn't a friend to begin with...

Who put a complaint in about your professionalism during the training session?

Could someone have talked to her about the incident in either an official capacity, like a witness or unofficially just warning her about the company she keeps.

I think it sounds more like she's awkward than dropped you, if she'll reply in private in a nice way, maybe she is just feeling s bit public at work.

Possibly she’s been involved with complaining about you to your manager and is guilty and avoiding you

Could it be possible that she put the complaint in? Obviously it's hard to comment without knowing your friendship and the whole situation

What was the 'professionalism' issue? I think that is key.