To tell the teacher about the boy touching DD's skirt?

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I might sound crazy here so fully expecting to be told I'm BU.

But tonight DD (aged 5 - in reception class) told me that a boy in her class kept touching her skirt today. She said she asked him lots of times to stop but he wouldn't and he touched her skirt 5 or 6 times. It was when they were sitting on the carpet when the teacher was talking to them all. I'm guessing this is nothing to be concerned about with kids of that age but looking for advice from some more experienced mums. She's my eldest so I'm quite clueless with this sort of thing. Thanks.

Another child touched her clothing? And you are concerned? Why?

I should add that the boy in question is someone she's mentioned quite a lot. He still wets himself etc and from what she has said I've concluded that he may have some behaviour issues. Not sure if this is relevant but don't want to drip feed.

Little children see being told not to do something as an impossible task! Nothing you’ve said concerns me.

He is probably fascinated by the texture.
Nothing to fuss about.

Check with the teacher. At that age my ds's "lots of times" meant twice.

Still wetting themselves and behavioural issues at 5 is pretty normal ime.

I don't understand what the problem. Is?

Lots of children cannot sit still on the carpet and find all kinds of things to fiddle with. It is distracting for everyone and mostly for the teacher. You can be in the middle of something and a child will suddenly want to give you a piece of fluff, then I forget what I am saying. That said if your daughter does not like it just tell her to put her hand up and tell the teacher whilst it is happening.

You can tell her to tell the teacher if he does it again and its annoying her but don't go marching in tomorrow saying your dd's said he tounched her skirt 5 times yesterday.
What are you expect the teacher to do with that? What punishment would you like the 5 year old boy to be given?

Has your child never continued doing something despite being asked not to?
In my experience as a nursery nurse, TA and a parent of four it's very standard behaviour.
As PP said encourage your DD to tell the teacher or just move away.

It's probably the texture of the material he likes.

I'm not sure what you're implying with the behaviour and the wetting himself though.

Don't worry, someone will be along soon telling you to tell your daughter to punch him each time he does it like the last thread.

Are you worried it's a sexual thing? Would you have the same concerns if he was touching her jumper? Or is it because it is annoying your daughter.

You've concluded the boy has behavioural issues because he wets himself sometimes? And therefore what the fuck are you inferring?

I disagree with the other posters. Talking to the teacher is not demonising the child's behaviour (I also think it all sounds pretty normal) but equally your daughter has every right to set boundaries around her body and belongings and if it's making her uncomfortable then listen to her. Keep it light but ask the teacher if he can ask the boy to stop.

I’d say keep an eye on it OP, reassure your daughter that you be listened, explain she should tell the boy to stop and then the teacher if he doesn’t. If they are sat on the carpet, I doubt it’s suspicious. Listen out for what she says, but try not to demonise this child in your daughter’s eyes. One of my children once cottoned on to the fact that is shown slightly too much interest in who had snatched her hat once (I just asked who) and after that, said child was blamed for everything.

*i’d shown

Lots of kids still wet their pants at school aged 5!
Although it’s annoying for her, It’s highly unlikely it’s anything untoward aged 5.

OP may not be CONCERNED but it would still be reasonable to encourage her dd to tell an adult or for the OP to have a quiet word with the teacher. OPs dd shouldnt have to put up with being touched/stroked if she doesnt like it, however innocent the motivation.

But the DD wasn't being touched, her skirt was being touched. If they were sitting on the carpet then part of the skirt was likely lying on top of the carpet rather than on top of a body part. It's not like he was lifting it up and trying to rummage around in her knickers, is it!?

I'd have a word with DD and say that if a child in class is annoying her even after she's asked them to stop then she should have a word with the teacher and leave it at that. Unless there was actual touching, nastiness, name calling, etc going on then I wouldn't speak to the teacher. Part of going to school is learning to manage social skills, including annoyances.

I also don't like the insinuation about the boy wetting himself and OP concluding that the boy has behavioural issues based on what her 5yo has said about him. It seems like an unpleasant opinion is being unfairly formed.

I'm not concerned as such, I've taught my DD about personal space and respecting other people's boundaries and that people should respect hers also. She just seemed quite upset about it when she was talking to me earlier and I wasn't sure how to proceed. I've just spoken to her more about it and she told me that she didn't put her hand up to tell the teacher because they're not meant to talk on the carpet and because she didn't want the teacher to give the boy into trouble.

A previous poster made out as though I was going to march up to the teacher. That was never my intention. I only considered mentioning it to the teacher because it had obviously upset DD that he hadn't respected her personal space/boundaries. I'm also concerned now that she didn't feel she could tell the teacher.

I'd mention it. At dd's school they would have extra discussions about the pants rules and listening to other people when they say no. She had similar issues in reception last year with one of the other children playing with her clothes and wanting to show dd their pants constantly. The child in question never got punished, the whole class just did more work on social boundaries. It is really common in this age range and her teacher said so is waiting to tell mum or dad rather than a diffrent adult who cab deal with it there and then.

A lot of small children have problems with boundaries. Fine to mention it.

I also don't like the insinuation about the boy wetting himself and OP concluding that the boy has behavioural issues based on what her 5yo has said about him. It seems like an unpleasant opinion is being unfairly formed.

I don't think negatively about this little boy at all. I actually volunteered in a class at a primary school many moons ago and the boy I bonded with most had many issues but he was a truly lovely little boy with a heart of gold. I didn't want to get accused of drip feeding so just gave all the info I have about the boy. DD is one of the older ones in her year group and is pretty reliable with telling the truth (even to the point she'd tell on herself if she had done something wrong). She has told me many things that have happened in class. I've also seen this boy myself and I think he may potentially have some issues from a behavioural point of view. I mentioned that because I thought it may explain why he's not respecting her saying no. I don't think badly of this boy.

Omg the replies here. If that was my DD, I tell her to raise her concerns with the teacher. Surely this is what we all teach our children?

At the end of the day, he was trying to annoy the poor girl.

I'm assuming that touching her skirt is on the lines of tugging or poking gently rather than something more nasty like ripping or lifting it up.

Dealing with annoying people is one of those things that she has to learn to cope with at school. Does she have the confidence to tell an adult that the boy is annoying her? If she can't get the teacher's attention what about the TA?

I wouldn't mention it to the teacher as there's nothing that the teacher can do. (The boy might not even remember doing it)