To just leave home

[Bestseller]

DH and DSs 15 & 17yo. I have a rotten cold and a sprained ankle, have been in quite severe pain for a week and miserable with the cold all weekend.

No one has once offered me help with anything. I've come home today to a bomb site of a house. "Well we couldn't put the cups and plates in the dishwasher because it needs emptying".

I'm afraid the top of my head came off. I don't know where I went wrong. They were so good at doing jobs when they were younger.

Sometimes a one bedroom flat has huge appeal.

I'm only venting really but surely someone could offer to do dinner (or out the hoover round). I do the lion's share because I work shorter hours and that suits me too so we're not spending all weekend doing chores, but I would like someone to notice what I do and offer some help when I'm not well.

Make yourself something to eat and then get wrapped up in bed.

Was it your DH spinning the yarn about the dishwasher or your DSs?

Tell your DH and DC that you’re not well and specifically give them a list of things you want doing. Then take yourself off to bed or lie down on the sofa and sleep or watch something.

Nothing gets done in my house unless I do it but I find when I tell them exactly what to do (because god forbid they actually see the dirty dishes themselves and think oh I should probably clean them) it doesn’t get done.

feel better soon

DS1 with the dishwasher. DH isn't home yet. DH is very willing to help with housework if he's asked. I'd like it just to be done without having to ask!

I went on strike one weekend. I'd come home to a similar situation, then made a lovely dinner accommodating everybody's food preferences, fielding complaint after moan after complaint for 3 solid hours.

I dished up and said without anger,
"Right. I am now on strike. This weekend I will only prepare food for dh and myself. I will not do any dishes, cleaning or laundry. I am fed up of the rudeness towards me.

Shocked silence.

Following day:

"Mum db and I are going to make lunch today. We need these ingredients. Can you buy them and we'll do the cooking?"

"No."

Shock.

"What can we eat, then?"
"Go buy it yourself, or make do with what's at home."

(It's impossible to starve in the Jelly House )

Dh was a brick and backed me ip totally. He did not do any cooking or dishes for the dc, but he did do the dishes from his and my food, and he did the other housework.

The dc survived, cooperated with each other, ate well enough, cleared ip after themselves, and were a heck of a lot more polite to me and appreciative for a long time after.

I've only had to go on strike a few times. Though they still need reminding to get jobs done.

I second going on strike, I did the same with my family (exDH included), they soon realised how much work was done and how little of it they did.

💐I had a similar situations, all male household ( except me) boys with the same age gap! Unfortunately DH, who does housework, worked away during the week.
I regularly threatened to go and live in a flat of my own! It does get better. I got mine partime jobs in a restaurant! Working for someone else for pay sorted kitchen duties out!
If it’s any consolation now they’re family men, they tidy up after themselves when they visit!

Get yourself a takeaway delivery, and let DH and the kids sort themselves out.