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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like I'm failing as a mum by leaving ExDH?

4 replies

MaiaRindell · 12/11/2018 17:25

DD1 (12) has anxiety which results in stomach pains, hates school, can't be bothered with homework so it's often rushed. She struggles to make friends.
DD2 (9) used to be very difficult and angry but has matured and mellowed. She has made some good friends and is enjoying school. But her teacher (who never knew her before) has e mailed me to say she thinks she is struggling so has suggested she goes to the school counselor once a month so she can see her "lovely smile more".
I left ExDH - selfish, narcissistic, emotional bully - six years ago. I can';t tell him any of this because he will shout at me and say it's my fault for leaving. I feel like things will never be easy.

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 12/11/2018 17:28

Having a selfish, narcissistic emotional bully for an XDH and father of your children will not be easy, but it will be a lot better than having one for a husband. Don't share with XDH, share with your friends and other family and on here if it helps.

garbagegirl · 12/11/2018 17:28

do they see their father? I just wonder whether 6 years of his influence full time and then 6yrs part time may well be the issue here?

I don't think that your daughters seeing a counselor is a bad idea, it will help them a lot by the sounds of it. Have you ever seen anyone about the emotional abuse you would have suffered?

well done for leaving. I wish I was so brave, you sound like a great Mum for the record x

MaiaRindell · 12/11/2018 17:31

Yes, they see him every weekend but often ask to come home.

OP posts:
garbagegirl · 12/11/2018 17:33

I think you know the answer

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