To give DC a different name for school?

[shinnerandslime]

My children have different fathers and with that they have different last names.

DC1 has his dads last name and DC2 has mine

DC1 will be starting school next September and I was hoping to enrol him with my last name so when DC2 also starts school they will both have the same last name.

I had siblings with different last names growing up and it lead to questions from people at school and also sometimes people using the wrong last names for us.

First of all is this possible and second of all AIBU?

If you are on good terms with DC1's father and explain this to him, would he agree to changing DC's name officially? If so, that might be a solution. Otherwise, I think you're stuck with different names.

School will need him to be enrolled with his legal name rather than another one so you do need to speak to his father to agree a name change. YANBU.

A woman I work with registered her kids as Jones known as Smith (not real names) and never had an issue with it, official things like letters had to have their proper name on but on the register or in assemblies and stuff the school used the other name.

You can enrol with the legal name but they can then be “known as”. But it will inevitably be got wrong sometimes.........

Yes you can put down a know as name. But why not change to yours legally?

That way it can go in all his official documents

It will be very confusing for the child and you should only do it if you plan on completely changing her name- and also only if you have agreed it with her father.

My son’s first name is different to his birth certificate. Just wrote his legal name down but asked them to call him the other name. It was fine. Hope it works out!!

My daughter is X ‘known as’ Y at school and it’s never been an issue

I can honestly say that I've never had this issue either as a child with a variety of siblings from various parent set ups (I'm one of 9 - full, half & step) or as a parent with DC who have different surnames.

DD's are Smith (like me) & DS is Jones but everyone at school knew they were siblings even with a 6 year age gap between DD2 & DS & I was only referred to as Mrs Jones once - by a new teacher after DD's had moved on to high school.

Haven't things changed a bit in the last couple of decades? I think there are way more blended families and siblings with different names. Maybe ask the teachers how much your kids would stand out, or if it's quite a common thing.

I don't think it's such an issue now for children to have different combinations of names - my two have a different surname to me and it's never been an issue. I would worry that using a different surname at different times for your child may confuse them.

I do wish it was standard practice for registry offices to remind new mothers that they are allowed to put their own surname on the birth certificate if they want to, but once the father's surname is registered it is hard to change it with his permission.

Not the same but my dd has exes and
my surname. he is absent so ive asked them to just use
mine.

My mum did this to me when I was 5. I hated her for it. At 14 I changed it back again.
It was much more confusing and hurtful to change my name than it was to have a different name to my siblings.

My eldest two have their dads surname but my youngest has my surname as her dad is absent. I won't be changing it for school, the teachers will know who the siblings are.

Can you change it to a double barrelled name like Smith-Jones? That might be less confusing for DC.

Can you change it to a double barrelled name like Smith-Jones?

Not if their first name is Alas.

brizzledrizzle
😂😂😂

You're not BU. I'm going to change my child's surname when she starts school so it's the same as mine as I'll be the one doing most of the school stuff due to my flexible hours and I just think it's simpler.

* bizzle*

My sister registered my niece who has our family name with her and her brothers dads last name at school (same dad but they weren’t together at the time) my niece got to secondary school and changed it back to our last name because she’s proud to carry it and didn’t care what people thought about them having different names. She knew they were siblings who cared what idiots thought.