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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what to do about..

2 replies

haitchnotaitch · 11/11/2018 21:42

Constant bickering with my husband, sometimes arguing and just generally feeling angry??

He's a lovely man (although sometimes selfish, damn right annoying and a bit of an idiot) but I do consider myself very lucky, he works hard, provides for us and also pulls his weight around the house (but does leave sock fluff everywhere, cups in random places and generally makes more mess than the children) he does do a lot practically for the children (5, 3 and 1) but he does find them very difficult and says he doesn't know how to communicate with them. He loses his patience, as do I (we're both only human!) sometimes he just doesn't bother and just sits on his phone!

He also is just a general wind up and makes 'jokes' about everything, that aren't funny. Conversations with him can be exhausting because he either turns it into a joke or just says ridiculous things, sometimes quite horrible or negative things as well, then it turns into an argument and he won't back down. Then afterwards he apologises and says he doesn't know why it kept going. I know I should know he's just 'joking' and ignore/walk away but I rise to it every single time, so it causes arguments. I should just ignore/rise above it but I'm obviously quite immature.

He has a hobby that he loves, which is great but can sometimes be a little bit selfish about it and I do feel like I'm quite resentful at times because my life is the children, but I wouldn't change it, I like my life being them. I do do things for myself too.

I don't even really know what I'm asking or what I want from this post. I do love him so much and am extremely lucky to have a husband who is a good person, I just want to be less angry and resentful towards him.

OP posts:
nicelyneurotic · 11/11/2018 21:45

He doesn't sound that great to me. Do you think some marriage counselling might help? Might make him more aware of the impact of his behaviour on you

haitchnotaitch · 11/11/2018 21:57

@nicelyneurotic he is very affectionate towards me and definitely does show me he loves me and cares for me. He really does love the children, just finds it difficult at times. He works very hard and never questions what I spend all the money on, rarely spends any money on himself. He does have a lot of redeeming qualities. I don't know if I'm just being ungrateful/got my own issues to deal with! Marriage counselling would be an idea - but I don't know if it seems a bit dramatic, we are essentially doing fine, not hanging on by a thread, hmm I just don't know. Good idea though, I will look into it, thank you!

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