To feel guilty

[Poisongirl81]

I have a ds and dd. My son is slightly older and just wants to be on his Xbox all day chatting to mates. I used to always drag him out of I was going out with dd to park or anything just yo get him out but he's not interested.

The last couple of weekends I've thought sod it I'm not letting my dd miss out just because he's happy doing nothing. We have had some lovely days out and it's been great spending time with her without him whinging to go home.

I can't find a common x ground with ds but dd loves me taking her out.

Aibu to put my time into doing stuff with her?, and leaving him be where he's happy.

He needs a limit on the x box regardless of whether he’s out with you. How old is he and how long is he gaming for?

YANBU. But there must be something you and DS both enjoy. Pizza and a movie when DD is on a sleepover with a friend?

She had missed out before because I've just done what he wants and she's loving the time we now spend together. I just feel she gets more attention... But he doesn't really want it if I offer.

He is 12 she is 11

He can’t spend all day gaming. How’s long is he gaming for?

He doesn't like to do anything and I've tried everything. Just wants to chat on the Xbox. Pizza yes he likes eating, that's a good idea.

12? I thought you were going to say 15! Are you leaving him home alone while you take your dd out?

No not alone.. Oh is in.

Like a pp said, put a limit on his daily game time. When it's done, it's done. Say 2 hours? Then he can either go out with you or find something else to do.

He has friends over but they just sit in his room. He always gets homework done etc is good at school.

I'm. Asking more for her, she's never enjoyed our time as he whines so much. I've been leaving him with oh and doing stuff with her.

Doesn't sound very healthy. Is he getting outside at all during the day? My kids are slightly older and like their screens but they know I expect them to go out every day and get some fresh air and exercise. Sitting around gaming sounds like such s waste of a weekend to me.

He walks 4 miles a day in the week to school and back... But nothing at weekends really.

Could ds and your OH do something together? A bike ride or football/ basketball at the park? My kids sometimes have to be shoehorned out of the house but they need to go out every day. Mine have a half hour walk to school then same coming home but at weekends they need to get outside. If the weather is terrible we play cards or a board game. I don't like them spending too much time alone in front of a screen, it just can't be good for them.

DD needs time with her dad as well. Try not to fall into a pattern of leaving DS and DP at home and you and DD doing stuff all the time. Both DC will benefit from time with each parent.

Could you take him out for a pizza and leave DD and dad to watch a film at home. Get him out of the house and away from screens and just eat and chat.

Cinema? Coffee and cake? It might not feel natural if you’re not used to it but make a regular date of it. Keep enjoying time witH DD too but balance it between them.

I’ve got a handful of siblings and my parents always tried to have one to one time with us when possible. It was rare but lovely and I remember going out with dad to eat pudding. We’d go to a restaurant and share a few puddings and chat about my school and his work.