AIBU or does MN reveal that a lot of women have really shitty partners?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

I honestly feel sorry for SO many posters on here who just have shitty partners.

There are horrible and distressing stories of domestic abuse, which are really awful. But there are also countless stories of men just being routinely selfish, inconsiderate bastards.

And the worst thing is, so many women seem to just accept that it’s what they have to put up with - men who don’t consider their feelings, don’t look after children fairly, don’t do their share of housework, say unkind things, make plans without ever considering their partners, refuse to compromise, always put themselves first, and are just consistently thoughtless, rude, selfish, lazy and unkind.

I know LTB is a cliche on here but I honestly think there is an epidemic of women accepting that they’ll never do better than these pathetic losers, and it’s so sad.

I'm often struck by the low expectations some women have of their partners and on MN I've been shocked by how quick some posters are to minimize, dismisses or even blame shitty behaviour on the female of the couple.

I can think of a number of threads I've read here where OP describes being upset or frightened by very aggressive behaviour on the part of her H or P eg slamming through the house in a fit of anger, breaking things, screaming and cursing in OPs face and so on. Then posters pick apart what the OP has said or done to cause his reaction! Lots of ^well you should have worded it differently/shouldn't have interfered/asked him while he was doing something else/you were nagging him.

It's not all posters of course and not in the Relationships topic but there have been enough to shock me. Those type of responses imo send a strong message to women that they should anticipate and manage a mans behaviour by moderating their own while also strongly implying that the aggressive behaviour of the man is only to be expected. It's pretty depressing really.

I agree with what you’re all saying about bad relationships being a more common topic, but I still think it’s stunning that so many women genuinely wonder if it’s normal that their partners refuse to change shitty nappies / routinely stay out late and get drunk with no notice when the OP has been looking after kids all day / spend hours on hobbies when the OP doesn’t get that chance / decide what they want and refuse to compromise despite how much it inconveniences their parter / openly criticise or are mean to them / don’t make any effort whatsoever with birthdays or christmasses / never prioritise their kids or partner / etc. Women shouldn’t need to ask if it’s unreasonable to be upset by this kind of behaviour. It should be normal for your partner to be kind, respectful, honest, and an equal partner.

And I know some people post knowing they aren’t being unreasonable and just seeking validation, but very many women are clearly willing to just accept this shit as just being how relationships are.