AIBU to feel frozen out of WhatsApp group ?

[macmacaroon]

Am on a mums WhatsApp group - 7 mums who met in playgroup. I feel like the odd one out as they seem to have formed a bond amongst themselves and few of them meet up more regularly. Noticed that whenever I post a message no one really responds but they all seem to jump when others post and lol etc but mine just seem to fall flat. When we meet up I also feel on the periphery on things. We live in a small village with a small school so we always bump into each other etc but it's getting to the stage where i tense up whenever I see a message thread on that group and I just feel they don't like me. I feel comfortable and like I belong on other groups, so wondering what to do? Carry on and keep trying to get them to like me or leave the group and face the inevitable awkwardness when I do see them about. I get one with one of the mums one to one as our girls play together so don't want to ruin that relationship.

I would maybe just not post on the group any more but not leave it. Then there is no awkwardness about you having left the WhatsApp group it if that makes sense? If you have other friends that make you feel welcome I would focus on them and just let yourself drift from the other one - but no hard feelings - especially if it’s a small village and your kids are likely to be going to school together in a few years.

Don't leave the group, maybe mute them so you don't see stuff they are posting and can get on without worrying.
If you remove yourself from group it will make things more awkward when you meet irl.
They probably haven't noticed your lack of interaction in a group tbh.

As others said don’t leave, that will just create tension. Let it slide over you and focus on your friends from other groups. It doesn’t need to be a big deal - just post less and less, but still face to face cheery hellos and chitchat.

They might just have known each other longer or have more in common, don't take it too personally. I am on a WhatsApp group too and quite absent minded about which posts I reply to. Just focus on real life friendships with the mums you actually like.

The thing is it's hard to ignore because whilst most groups meet occasionally these guys seem to want to meet all the time. I tried to withdraw from the conversation but then I just felt more on the outside when we met in person as they had bonded more. Also even if I mute the group the message still come through as I use WhatsApp for other community groups so I have to open the app. And see their posts. Also it just makes me feel really rubbish as I think I wonder why they don't like me?! It's so hard not to take it personally.

Just don't join in with that chat! I'm currently in one of these! Ignored on anything I send but everyone else gets a reply! However i do get invited to the meet ups but think why should I!!! So rude i don't join in at all now open don't read close!

Sounds to me like they’re trying to include you in things. But you don’t want to meet up so often. Yet then you get annoyed that they’re becoming closer because they’re meeting up?

I’m different. I’d leave and forget all about them 😳. I tolerate a lot for a long time but once I figure out that people are making me feel bad / aren’t adding anything to my life I’m quite ruthless in cutting them out. I wouldn’t want to keep getting their messages, even if they were muted. It would irritate me. I wouldn’t feel awkward though. Would wave and say hi if I saw them. No bitterness. That’s just my perspective, not saying it’s right or wrong. 💐

Completely agree with Teddy. Leave the group.

Leave the group...

I agree with loveandstuffing. They want to meet up a lot and you don’t. They’re getting closer while you’re not feeling it. It sounds as if maybe they aren’t your kind of people. What do you think?

I would mute and if anything pops up, just don’t read it.

If you genuinely can’t stop yourself from reading, then yeah, leave the group.

Say you have too many to follow and are having a bit of a cull?

If it makes you feel tense I'd leave the group. If they want you at get togethers they'll tell you some other way. I don't get why it would be awkward in real life, does everyone have to have WhatsApp, I don't use it and friends still let me know arrangements.

Just leave the group. If anyone mentions tell the truth you didn’t really feel included so when you had a group cull you deleted them.

You could also ask the one mum you do get on with in the group if there is anything up, or explain the situation to her so that there are no hard feelings?

Honestly life is too short for this kind of shit.

1. Stop caring about what people think of you.
2. If you feel uncomfortable leave the group.
3. Stop dwelling
4. Focus on yourself and make some new friends.

Don't mean to sound harsh OP, but sometimes we overanalyse and think too much about what people think of us. I used to be like you

If they really were trying to freeze you out then surely they would have just set up another WhatsApp group that didn't include you?

It will all end in tears. Be glad you're not involved.

I was in a similar WhatsApp group and realised about 6 months ago all the chat had stopped. Found out recently that they’ve set up a new WhatsApp group but without me! I still meet up with one of the mums from the group but don’t have any contact with the others apart from a hello if we pass each other at school. Nothing has happened that I know of and I’m happy with the few good friends that I’ve got so just let them get on without me

i really doubt six people are consporing against you like that. i think you are reading too much into it. Its really easy to miss a message on whatsapp if you pick it up late and theres a whole thread of messages after it. I think you are being paranoid. If you like them make an effort if you don't then mute or remove yourself from group. whatever suits you. renoving qill send a message though whereas going silent seems far less stroppy and dramatoc.

Leave and tell them you are quitting social media.

it's not about misinterpreting the messages... or whether the group are deliberately isolating OP or not..

it's about how the 'group chat' makes OP feel... and that's much more important...

leave the group OP.. seriously don't entertain anything that makes you feel crap.. particularly when a simple press of a button can solve it