Need help deciding the right thing to do

[Sohardtochooseausername]

I think I am being unreasonable because I usually know what to do - but in this case I’m a bit stuck!

I’m splitting from exP and I’m looking for a house to buy. My budget is such that I just can’t afford to buy what I really want - which is exactly where I am right now - in a large 2 bedroom flat in a very naice area. 5 mins walk from DD school and half an hour walk to work.

DD is helping me choose and she wants a place with a garden so we can get a cat and a trampoline.

On the new budget I have 3 directions to choose:

1. 2 bedroom tenements close to where we are now, but noisier road. No garden but close to lovely park. DD is ok with this because still close to school, activities etc.

1. 1930s flats in the nearest suburb - a bit boring. Flats are very small but they have gardens. 15 minute walk to school, still close to most things we do. We’ve seen 2 flats like this. One was gorgeous but upstairs neighbour made a lot of noise the whole time we viewed it. Makes me suspect the neighbours have the potential to be a pain.

1. 3 bedroom ex-council house on former council estates. 15 minute bus ride to school, 15 minute drive to most things we do. Nice big garden. Good size rooms. A bit challenging for me as I don’t know what it’s like living in these estates. Don’t want to sound snobby as I’m not, more that this is right out of my comfort zone. Other benefit is it is much cheaper so I could get new kitchen and make home exactly how I want it. Whereas the other option I’d have to put all my money in.

I just can’t decide. Option 3 seems good but it goes against location, location, location. WWYD?

I wouldn't pick the ocuncil house, not out of snobbery but because it's too far away. A 15 minute bus ride becomes an absolute headache if the bus is delayed, or there's snow or a strike. Your daughter needs continuity.
If the tenement near the park is mor espacious than the suburban house, I'd go for that. It's in her area. You can always move again in a couple of years if it isn;t quite right. Meanwhile, you can plant bulbs and herbs on the window sill, take a daily trip to the park and keep live on an even keel for your DD being close to school, friends and familiar places.

Option 2 sounds best to me. Walking distance from where she needs to be and with a garden. Neighbours can be something you can check but could be a problem for different reasons wherever you are. Good luck wherever you decide is best for you both.

You can’t get option 1 if DD wants a cat as it’s near a busy road, unless you plan on keeping it indoors.

Option 2 sounds best to me. GL

Either 1 or 2. Probably 2 if you can and if the neighbours aren’t too noisy.

onestepmorefun this is what my gut says - although I would quite like the garden too.

eatmum yes I am also thinking this. My heart is torn between 1 and 2 - but my head says I should take the most affordable option.

It’s so hard. I do want to get it right for DD. Making a lovely new home for her is my top priority especially as exP isn’t prioritising it. That also means choosing something that doesn’t stress me out, somewhere we can both be happy.

spudulikey yes no cat or trampoline! Although we might find a rescue cat who doesn’t like going outdoors.

Iloveacurry yes I might try putting a cheeky offer on one of the option 2s which needed a lot of work.

I think 3, bigger house, garden and cheaper.
15 bus ride is nothing really, esp of you drive.

I would go for 3 because it has the most potential to create the home you want but before commiting I would visit the estate and lots of different times of day through the week to see what it is like. There are different types of council estate some I would have no hesitation buying in and some I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole.
Number 2 would be out of the question for me. Living with noisy neighbours is hell.

thesmallthings the buses are very frequent and they have a red lane during rush hour. So would be much better way to travel in the morning than driving.

I don’t think I’d mind that. It just feels very different to anywhere I’ve lived in the past. I’ve always lived in flats near the city centre.

I guess I’m scared.

gamerwindow I walked round that 3 bed imagining the whole thing painted with Farrow and Ball strong white and buying some new modern furniture. It would be fab. It’s very sunny. The garden was huge. I could afford a gardener and a cleaner if I lived there.

Sorry I sounded very middle class there.

I agree about the ex-council house. And the advice to visit it at different times of day, especially at night. A lot of these houses were very solidly built; and the garden will open up new opportunities for the children.

The idea of buying a property where you already know that the neighbour noise is bad would be an absolute no-no for me - not with a barge pole!

Good luck with it all.

I'd be worried about the upstairs neighbours for flat two, although you should find out during the process whether there have been any disputes about it.

tbh I would leave the cat out of the equation.
pet would be nice, but I wouldn't compromise my living conditions for one.
I would go for 1 or 2 as per pp reasoning.

just how busy is the road of flat 1?
how much smaller is flat 2?

It sounds like you really liked it. I would take a house over a flat any day. And if buses are reliable it sounds like a no brainer.
Number 2 is smaller and with noisy neighbours.
Number 1 would be my second choice

But honestly number 3 ticks every thing you wanted plus with an extra room and cheaper.

Even the toughest estates once you close your door you can forget about where you are.

50s council houses were really well built! Very solid, generally well proportioned rooms, good layouts, high ceilings, and very good value for money, I guess because of the ‘council estate stigma’. I have bought and lived in 2 ex council houses over the last 15 years and I’ve loved them. They are generally filled with professional, white/blue collar, working families. Have a look at the cars parked outside the houses. Don’t be put off by what you think you know about such estates.

Having said that, I highly value being close to school, work, friends, clubs etc. If I were making that decision I’d probably go for 1, 2 at a push. How old is your daughter? How long do you want to stay there? A trampoline and a cat might not be a priority for very long, but being able to walk to friends/clubs/school might become more important.

How old is your DD? Are you 5 mins walk from secondary school, or 5 minutes from Primary? Things change a great deal and quickly, so you need to future-proof this decision as much as possible - where will you all be in 5 years?

The 3-bed sounds the best to me but echo PPs who say go and explore at different times of the day and evening. Some council estates are lovely for DC - good playing out etc.

I’d discount option 2 as you’ve seen two different properties and you’re still not keen...

I'd choose option 1. Good area that you know, close to a park.

Option 2- no because of the neighbours. It can make life a misery having noisy neighbours.

Option 3 wouldn't appeal because of having to get the bus everywhere.

I agree depends on age of DD. The moment they become teenagers and their love for the garden becomes redundant. You also need to think long-term.

Upstairs noisy neighbour could be a nightmare and in desperation make it hard to sell.

I'd go for option 1 and get a rescue older cat.

How old is DD? Is she near a school transition age? What are schools like near option 3?

If good schools near and commute won't be forever I'd go for option 3 anyday.

Agree to check it area at different times of day first though!

I would go for number 3. The cat for DD would be so lovely. But as PP have said, visit the estate if possible at lots of different times.

Good luck with your decision and with your lovely new home.

option 3 easily.

DD is 6. She’s currently at an all-through independent school so school catchment not a massive issue - although if my circumstances change it would be. Flats 1 and 3 are in catchment for best state secondary school this side of the city. Flat 2 not so much.

DD would like it if there were more kids around so option 1 and 3 are better for that reason. I’d be hoping that by the time she’s a teenager I’ll be able to afford to move somewhere nice in town again.

Thanks for all your thoughts, they are so helpful and giving me other ways to assess the options.

Well I guess as she's in indie then things like peers living in the street is less of an issue as they tend to come from a distance?

That swings me more towards no 3!