Christmas lights for DD

[SofaKingFedUp]

I know this if probably silly, I know I'm probably BU... but I don't know why I'm so gutted... here it is..

I'm on maternity, I am a single parent so I don't really get any free time and I don't have many friends so I decided to use up my "KIT" days at work Just for the social side of it, I don't really need the money right now. I spoke with the manager and I said I'd like to work 1 or 2 shifts a week just to get out of the house for a few hours and to see everyone at work and she said that was fine. This week I was in Monday for 4 hours and Saturday for 5 hours.

There is a Christmas light switch on on Saturday with other things happening, it's in a shopping centre and it's ideal for my DD as it's inside it won't be cold for her as she is 7 months but she is mesmerized by lights. I only found out the date for this on Friday so when I went into work I asked to not be on Saturday but she's already put me in 12 til 10 and not one person will even cover just half of my shift for me to take DD.
I feel a little gutted now that I've missed an opportunity to take my DD to her first light switch on because I decided to pick up some shifts. I know she's very young and won't remember and I have many years to take her to one but.. I dunno I've been feeling a bit rubbish recently and this just got me down and I feel like I regret asking to use my KIT days.
Plus also I didn't want to be working such a long day as I feel it's not fair on my mum (even though she says she doesn't mind and DD is comfortable with her) I thought we agreed to 2 4/5 hour shifts, and I was so tired after my shift last night I fell asleep with DD and didn't wake up til her feed at 4am... obviously I'm not used to working plus I still have to wake up at 6am with DD and get her ready etc.
Should I just scrap the idea of doing the KIT days and enjoy Christmas til I go back to work in January? That way work can't get in the way of DD first christmas? Or should I just suck it up and stop being a whiney cow and work the shift.

I know I should stop being a whiney cow probably...

What do you want to do? Is the getting out and social contact good for your mental health?
In all honesty your 7 mo won’t know/ care that lights being switched on.
Choose a nice time in week to take her to see them. Pop into a cafe when it is quiet and have a treat. Just because you kiss one event doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy others.
Take care of yourself- transition back to work is tough.

Firstly, speak to your manager. You agreed 4/5 shifts and that’s all you can do. So make it clear any further kit days are only that long.

Secondly the actual swift on will be rubbish for a 7mth old, it’ll be crowded and she won’t get the anticipation so don’t worry about her ‘missing out’.
Take her the next day when she can gaze at the lights to her hearts content

Your baby wont be missing out if you don't go, but if you only agreed to do 4/5 hours then you need to stand by that.

Whether or not to do any KIT days really depends on you. It's not Christmas yet, plenty of time yet. So you could always do some over the next few weeks and then not do anymore in December. I thought you only get something like 8 KIT days anyway

The lights will still be there another day and your dd won't know that she has missed the official start. It is likely to be a busy and overwhelming event for a baby anyway. Who would be looking after her? Tbh you sound overly preoccupied with this.

I'll probably take her the Sunday then.
Yeah gettin out is good for my mental health, I felt happier after gettin out and just being me for a couple of hours.
The feedback I got off my colleagues about the manager (new manager since I've been on maternity) is that she isn't very good. And doesn't really listen. Alot of people are unhappy there now. When I was talking to one of the duty managers about the agreement of 4/5 hour shifts and then gettin put on a 10 hour, they replied with yeah that sounds like her. So now I'm worried that going back to work is going to cause problems, they tried to get me to stay on later yesterday which usually I would've. Before I had a baby I was the one who always covered shifts last minute, stayed on late etc etc Now I have a baby it's different, and I thought that would have been understood. If I am asked in advance then I can maybe sort something but because my mum is babysitting I need to let her know to make sure she doesn't have any plans and that she can take DD or keep her later etc. But I feel it's going to be a bit of a nightmare and I'm gettin a bit anxious about it already

My manager told me you can do 10 KIT shifts