To be annoying when

[auraaura]

Mil tells me what to do. Don't let her cry like that. Get a jumper. Throw those trousers.

I'm like , sorry who is the boss?

*to be annoyed

Is this in respect of a baby?

Either way YANBU. It’s not so much about being ‘the boss’, she just sounds rude.

You had your chance to parent ✋ did yours turn out perfect?

Used once and my mil hasn't questioned much since

Tell her to fuck off
Job done

Sometimes I am so grateful not to have a MiL. Sometimes I am very jealous of women who have this extra support from an awesome woman who knows her shit and loves her husband and kids like she does. YANBU.

Then she says , it's because I love her.

3 options

1. Do as she says and have a miserable life under her thumb.
2. Nod when she says stuff and then ignore advice.
3. Tell her to fuck if and risk her trying to make your life miserable.

I went with option 2 and my life is so much more peaceful than when I tried the other options.

Tell her to fuck off
Job done

That old chestnut. Like anyone in RL really would. As if it would get you anywhere anyway.

What do you do then OP when she says stuff like that?

Think of it as her giving advice, not as her telling you what to do. Verbalise, if you want "thanks for your advice, MIL". That may make it easier to ignore her.

She's had a good many years being responsible for your DH. It's difficult to make the transition to accepting that he, and by extension you, are fully functioning adults. To do this she'd have to accept that things that you do are OK, even though she wouldn't do the same. (Nobody sets out to do things the wrong way, so it's natural to think what you do is the right way, and everyone else is wrong). It's hard.

I don't agree with what she's said. It's not her baby. There are ways to show your concern if you think they're cold or crying too much. Not the way this MIL goes about it but don't do nothing, or whinge about it.

Speak up. Put her straight. Do not tell her to fuck off if you want any kind of relationship with her in the future.

I just nod and do what I would do anyway but it's affecting our relationship. I used to be friends with her , talking about our lives etc but i dont say anything to her now because she doesnt support me, it's always what she wants. My happiness is not important.

I understand she wants to be involved as a gp and i'm happy for that to happen obviously! But she wants me to work so she can look after them . I want , and i am going to be a sahm, self employed working hours around the kids. I. E when they're in bed . I will only need 1 day childcare as opposed to 3. She wants us to need her more than we do.

My mil is obsessed with telling the kids they are cold and to cover their arms wear a hat etc , I just roll my eyes

Time to be a grown up and talk to her OP. This won't go away unless you do.

I want , and i am going to be a sahm, self employed working hours around the kids. I. E when they're in bed
I’m not sure that sounds a very good plan. When will you have any time with your partner or to rest?

She sounds pretty annoying but if she wants to help out a bit with childcare and is good with your children, I’d let her.