AIBU to feel inferior at the gym.

[Newbutnotnew]

At the gym I go to, the women are generally excellent in the sessions (yoga, spin etc), they are tiny, have lovely hair, clothes and make-up and drive nice cars. This spans the age range, young or old, they are remarkably attractive women. I think most of them, perhaps 85% of them.

Now in real life, I am really confident. I’m small-ish, my car is nice-ish, some of my clothes are nice (some aren’t, which I assumed to be normal), my hair is nice often, but perhaps not consistently. Outside of the gym, I feel fine - firmly average.

At the gym, I feel so inferior in every way. AIBU to fell this - does anyone else have this problem?

not really, I'm 53, three stone overweight, I don't drive, usually arrive at the gym after the allotment so usually 'windswept' sometimes muddy, wet, generally untidy

I do my thing, everyone else does theirs.

I am in awe of the women who use my gym.

One is twenty years older than me and she works out at a high intensity, could do a triathlon tomorrow (maybe she does) and probably place in her age range or mine, super lean muscles.

One is dealing with Parkinsons and she follows a programme aimed at engaging different parts of her brain in tasks as well as her body. She is also pleasant, interesting and chatty.

One comes in using a walking frame but does ten minutes on the bike every single weekday. May I be doing the same when my joints decline.

In what ways do you feel inferior?

The main issue is that I can’t keep up with them in the classes, it’s humiliating but honestly, I feel inferior in all of the ways I’ve outlined above.

Not really, but I did spin this am behind a woman who had the most muscly, toned arms and I had extreme arm envy. I told her afterwards.

The more you go, OP, the better you will get at keeping up!

Yeah I’m a fat 40 year old so I’d look up to you!

I try not to worry about the others. I’m not there to impress anyone (thank god, cos I’d fail 😂)

It's not very surprising that there are fit people at the gym.
You could always change gyms. My local authority gym had more ordinary types.

I used to feel like that but then I concentrated on me. I go to the gym to better myself. So long as I am pushing my body a little further or harder or it’s getting slowly easier then it’s progress.

My body has changed enormously. It’s useful to take photos to look back on.

Feeling inferior because someone is smaller? Wow. I guess everyone feels superior to me at the gym then...should I be ashamed of my 5'11" largish frame? I hate this kind of thinking. For what it's worth, I am 33 weeks pregnant and huge at the moment. I would have hoped other women would think good on me for doing circuit training and spin. Why do we have to compare ourselves to others like this?

It depends which gym you use.

The gym I go to is really "down to earth". People of all ages, shapes and sizes use it. It's not the best gym and doesn't have the best range of equipment but I feel comfortable there .

The other week I had a trial at a different gym. The equipment was amazing and it was a great gym but I won't be going back! 😂 It was full of buff pretty boys doing curls for the girls and all the women (I say women but no one looked any older than 20) had fancy gym gear on, full faces of makeup and swishy hair. No one was sweating, whereas at my usual gym people are usually dripping with sweat, working hard, red faces etc.

I felt really self conscious.

Happiness is wanting what you have not having what you want.

"Happiness is wanting what you have"

That makes no sense. If you want something, you don't already have it.

You’re running rings round those people on their sofa.

I figure it doesn't matter if I perform the exercises better or worse than the other people in my class. The main point is to push my body, relative to what it finds easy and do sweat a bit. Those are the things that will make me fitter.

Keep thinking on it, Gwenhwyfar. Modern meaning of want, to be fair, not the way Shakespeare would have used "want".

Where do you live?

It doesn't sound like my gym at all.

I go to a local authority gym, and the people who attend are a very mixed bunch- a few super fit, but mostly a rag bag bunch- all ages, all sizes, all abilities.
Very few have nice cars and nice hair!!

Maybe it the area I live in. Most people here ( rural Scotland) are not into the showy wealth /glossy hair image.

Everybody started off like you don’t compare yourself

So you feel inferior in terms of their hair, clothes, make-up and cars? That's more than just their levels of fitness and physique, which you might expect to feel at a gym. Who do these women remind you of?

Sounds like my gym, Op. my car is the oldest on the car park (but I drive

This isn't about gym-goers. If many areas of life are a competition, you will always find plenty of people to "lose" to.

I think it’s a real shame that some women are made to feel uncomfortable by making comparisons at the gym.
It’s an easy thing to fall into.
My view now is that this is my workout, not anyone else’s, and it’s my business.

Honestly, celebrate the fact that you’re there and you’re working out!

It's totally normal to feel not quite up to scratch when you first start working out and can't keep up. The other things e.g. car and so on - no one is noticing but you.

Just keep up the good work and you'll be on the one who the newcomers are in awe of in 6 months time.

Most importantly, do not give up.