Different PE for girls and boys

[Mich0027]

My son hates rugby at school and wants to do netball which only the girls play. AIBU to ask if he can?!

Enquire about sanctions and if there isn't an alternative. I cannot see how compulsory contact sport is of any use to anyone who isn't going to enjoy it. They are a danger to themselves and others if they are forced to participate. I have a yr 5 son with ASD and he would loathe rugby.
There must be alternatives to contact sport in school as the focus is supposed to be on fitness - why he cannot participate in the non-contact aspects is beyond me.

Also for the record I have three degrees, an academic job and can deadlift 80kg without ever having acquired the ability to hit a stupid ball with a silly bat.

Is it going to be rugby all winter, or does he just have to get through a few weeks until the next block?

He's unlikely to be the only boy not keen on full contact rugby. My DS1 really doesn't like it - but gets through it as it's one item in a rotation. He is also in the group of kids that do "rugby for kids that don't like rugby" (his name, not the school label)

Presuming its girls playing netball him joining them would solve the rugby problem but frankly give him a whole new set of problems. Singling him out isnt going to be the answer.

@JohnMcCainsDeathStare yes I have. I'm not happy with him being sanctioned and have advised there must be other options even running around the field by himself for an hour although I think my son would prefer isolation!! Ha

I have heard that rugby is quite dangerous, I certainly wouldn't want my child playing it.

You could always give him a note to excuse him from pe, if you don't mind fibbing?

@sweeneytoddsrazor he wouldn't care about playing with the girls a lot of his friends are in that PE group

@MemoryOfSleep I did consider that but I feel quite strongly that they should accommodate someone who isn't happy playing rugby!

My son is in year 7. They play rugby. He loves it luckily and plays for the school now. I just asked him if he does it in p.e and he said he did in the first half term but it’s changed now, I asked him if anyone hated it and he said yes but they were not allowed to not participate and would have got in trouble. Just FYI, not sure if that helps 🤷🏻‍♀️

The contact aspect of rugby should never be compulsory. Ever.

There are plenty of ways a rugby session can be amended to deal with players of all abilities and desire to play.

I agree with you. Netball should be available for boys and it's so unsafe to force contact rugby on someone who is nervous about it. My son got round the problem by pretending he was involved but really just running up and down at the side following whichever way the play was going!

We had the same issue with Ds in Year 9. He hated Rugby and wanted to do Dance instead but only the girls could opt for dance.

Luckily in Year 10 he had been able to drop PE completely and does Btec Dance instead but there are only two boys in the entire year group who have opted for it.

Ds is also a bit hypermobile and has asd he does a lot of performing outside of school and was terrified of getting injured during contact rugby.

@Mormont I suspect lots of kids do that. A lot of the lesson wont even be contact, there will be warm up kicking practice, catching practice and so on.

considering ds’s schools new gender policy says that children should use the facilities of whatever gender they identify (and theymight be gender fluid) with I should have told him to self I’d as a girl for PE lessons!

The following link says you can withdraw your child from rugby if you or they object to the tackles. I suppose you could argue that although you're withdrawing him from rugby, he is still entitled to attend PE?

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/feb/05/is-your-child-at-risk-of-brain-injury-from-playing-football-or-rugby

This is problem with secondary pe puts kids off sport for life. There's got to be a better way than forcing everyone into team sports

There is. But there is always a great deal of resistance to hard evidence vs 'that's the way we've always done it'.

I am focusing on leading by example and incorporating fitness as a part of life and in daily life. The DSs are happy enough with PE at primary but I'm not looking forward to secondary school PE.
What makes it worse is I bet they don't even bio band the contact sports let alone see if students are happy with it.

What if the girls would prefer not to have a boy in their group?

If he doesn’t want to play rugby then tLk to the Head of PE about it.

Is bio- banding where they Group not according to chronological age but according to size, stage of development, puberty etc?

There is a call for that approach to be used in the dance world too as children develop at different rates. My own Ds is tiny aged 12 you’d have thought he was only about 8 years old, now approaching 15 he looks about 12.

Boys and girls PE should be separate, but both sexed should be offered the same range of activities. Why can’t girls play football & rugby and why can’t boys dance or play netball?

I dont think anybody - child or adult- should be forced to participate in contact sports. Would you lst them make him box as well?

In your position OP Id be insisting they find him another option (not necessarily netball eith the girls though).

"Why can’t girls play football & rugby and why can’t boys dance or play netball?"
They do in many schools- except usually netball- the boys play basketball instead.

Is it definitely full contact? I thought most schools did tag rugby till year 9?

It makes no difference what sport you offer there will be some pupils that di not like it. Thats why they rotate them termlyand sometimes there are 2 lots a term so maybe rugby and gymnastics one term then football and basketball another. There are nowhere near enough pe teachers to say you can choose between sport a b or c each term.

I just think it perpetuates the myth of their being boy things and girl things when boys are offered football, rugby & badminton and girls are offered netball, dance & tennis.

A full-contact sport should not be mandatory, a school should be providing reasonable adaptions for the people who don't want to accept the risk, the same as they would with the people who can't.

Now, it's very, very unlikely that playing with the girls is a reasonable adjustment, since it would penalise those to have an (on average) physically stronger male playing with them. But some sort of provision should be made.