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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Badly behaved cat - posting for traffic

90 replies

PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:12

Well I don’t know if it’s exactly badly behaved but it is driving me crazy

It’s a housecat through its own choice of being afraid of the outside. It is healthy. Fed. Spay. Feliway is in the house. It has toys and humans. I cannot have a cat flap for logistical reasons (my front door is not the door to the outside world)

But every evening and through the night it walks around, wails and scratches at everything. If I relent and open the front doors, it will bolt but then come straight back when I close it and scratch the other side to come back in. It doesn’t like any doors closed and will scratch at everyone’s door or the bathroom door.

I am considering another cat (am desperate) for company but we had another cat who has now died and all it did was bully that one so I don’t think this is the answer

Anyone else wantgot a very annoying cat?

OP posts:
TenThousandSpoons · 09/11/2018 20:16

Does he want to sleep in your room maybe?
Has he got lots of things to scratch? The cardboard cat beds are good for this.
It does sound very annoying but like he’s trying to tell you something.
Mine starts scratching at the door and making a nuisance of herself if I stay up too late because she thinks I should be in bed. Only solution is for me to go to bed. So 9 times out of 10 that’s what I do. Blush

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:20

Sleeps with me all night. DC’s close their doors when changing or watching TV, other than that doors open. My DD is out for the evening and left her door closed to make it warmer - she’s not even in the room and the cat is demanding to go in there by scratching

Has a scratching post, uses it a lot (it’s newrly destroyed), uses bannisters too. This is the scratching they do at the floor/door when they want something. Has also started scratching up the lino in kitchen AND worked out how to use paws to get into cupboards to make mess Angry

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 20:21

How old? Sounds bored.

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 09/11/2018 20:23

He does sound bored. Perhaps bullying the other cat gave him something to do Hmm

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:29

It’s about 4

I agree maybe bored. I try to rotate it’s toys. I also tried to get it to go out during the day, but it’s currently choosing all the nights when fireworks are going off (still going off) to want to go out which isn’t exactly ideal for a first time outing. DD took it out last weekend so it wouldn’t feel so nervous (not on a lead) and it just sat under a car for an hour Hmm

OP posts:
Mia184 · 09/11/2018 20:30

Do you think you could take her outside on a leash?
My cat is a house cat and according to the shelter where I adopted her from she has never been outside. She has a normal behaviour but loves it when I take her outside. I used to take her out on a leash and now take her to my parents who have a garden and let her roam there on her own. I think it gives her great mental stimulation.
It was difficult catching her when I started to take her outside and she initially appeared to be a bit intimidated and overwhelmed when she was outside but she loves it now.
Cats are nocturnal and if yours start to scratch and walk around, maybe it wants to go outside but is afraid to be there on its own? Did you get your cat from a shelter and do you know anything about its previous life?

Emma765 · 09/11/2018 20:33

Can you out a catflap in the window? Sounds like he wants to go out but scared when be can't see his route back.

DiaryofWimpyMum · 09/11/2018 20:34

One of mine is slightly senile and walks around wailing. Luckily I can shut the door downstairs and she has nothing to scratch on as I have laminate.

I have 3 so they keep each other company but the moggy really detests the ragdolls

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:34

Got it from a kitten. I had an older cat which died on the road nearby and all they did was fight and it was small cat who always picked the fights. A dog visits us sometimes and this certainly intrigues small cat who also bullies the dog. Small cat is a girl and doesn’t really play with toys and I think I will have to try a lead, although this relies on one of us taking her out and this won’t be happening at midnight when sometimes the scratching begins so not sure it’s going to help with those occasions that’s my only concern. Exactly how much time do you have to spend with the cat on a lead outside? Is it like walking a dog? Sorry I have never done it!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 20:35

It? You sound oddly detached from this pet. How much time do you actually spend playing with it or giving affection?

Vitalogy · 09/11/2018 20:36

Are you on the ground floor OP, just thinking about leaving a window open for cat to go in and out that's all.

Bellabonkers · 09/11/2018 20:41

You just need to offer reassurance that going out means they won't be left outside. I'd go out and walk around
and the cat will follow you. Stay close to your home. You can do it in the daytime.
Eventually the cat will start exploring it's outside territory. It will just take time and patience.

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:42

No not ground floor

Sorry i shouldn’t call it it, I was trying to call her small cat. I do give her affection but if I am honest none of us have bonded with her all that well I think due to very annoying behaviours. I obviously love her and wouldn’t want her to come to any harm (and want her to be happy!)

My DC did not like the older cat getting bullied and took older cats sympathy vote, I felt responsible as my choice to get a new cat (intended for company!) the scratching drives them bonkers too and I have to tell them off for shouting at her - she can wake everyone up when she’s in one of them moods. She’s also unpredictable with affection and bites you easily one DC is a bit wary of her. She sleeps with me which is really sweet but doesn’t want much affection outside of the bedroom Shock so I am sitting here now, she’s near me but wouldn’t come on my lap.

OP posts:
Mia184 · 09/11/2018 20:48

Well, when I took my cat out on a leash, it was rather her walking me. I took her to a playground in a small forest nearby (no dogs) and let her roam. The leash was 10 metres long. I took her there once or twice a week for 30 to 60 minutes. She now spends about 2 hrs oncea week in my parents garden whilst I am having coffee with my parents outside.

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:48

Getting a lead tomorrow and operation cat walking will commence Grin

Then maybe we will all love each other again and not drive each other up the wall Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:51

If i am clawed to death I Will blame all of you Grin

Giving worming tablets is dangerous enough

OP posts:
Bellabonkers · 09/11/2018 20:53

Sounds good. Just remember cats do have a sixth sense and if family members don't like her she will pick up on this
Hence becoming a bit of a terror. Cats own you and your home Smile

Bellabonkers · 09/11/2018 20:55

Cross post there. Didn't mean it would be good if you were clawed to death!!

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 20:56

It’s hard isn’t it. The last thing I feel like doing is cuddling her when she’s woken me up at god knows what time by yowling and pouncing and scratching or bitten me. So it’s a vicious circle I can see.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 20:56

Sounds like none of you like her much. Poor cat.
Profender is a spot on wormer.

Bellabonkers · 09/11/2018 20:57

By going out she may well burn off a bit of energy...and hopefully will settle down.
Good luck

Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 21:02

Yes I use that now for spot on but in the early naive days I tried oral worming, huge mistake

I do like her I want to like her more though by addressing and solving this behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
PookieDo · 09/11/2018 21:03

Wolfie I see where you are going but cuddle = bitten for kids isn’t going to endear them to a pet exactly. And I really tell them off if they shout at her because that’s not nice

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 21:05

Both my cats have bitten. My kids have never shouted at them. Ever.
Not all cats want to be “cuddled”. Both mine would do me serious damage if I picked them up or “cuddled” them. Cats do affection on their own terms.

Bellabonkers · 09/11/2018 21:09

Yes the shouting needs to stop. It's cruel and cats hearing is a million times more sensitive than ours.
Don't mean to be harsh but if in about 4 weeks and trying the outside plan, things are no better then you may need to consider re homing.
It's hard but it would be selfish to keep any animal in an environment where it's displaying clear signs of distress.

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