To want to stop worrying about cancer

[HealthAnxietySucks]

I want to start by saying I apologise for my post because I know that sadly lots reading this will have actually had cancer or have / had loved ones affected. Even typing the word makes me feel panicky

It just terrifies me so much. If I have a pain or a niggle I immediately think the C word. A few months ago I had a bruise on my toenail which I was beside myself with worry that it was a skin cancer. The dr looked at me like I was mad and wasting his time which I was tbh as it soon went away. I’ve had loads of little scares like this, I hate it 😔

I think it started a few years ago when I had a lump investigated. I went to absolute pieces waiting for the results. Thankfully it turned out to be nothing serious but i think it made me realise that health is fragile and I too was vulnerable

I am reasonably slim, fit and healthy, don’t smoke, have a physical job and eat well try and eat lots of fruit and veg. In fact I do actually obsess a bit about getting at least 5 a day if not more as I feel it will improve my chances of not getting it. but then I sort of think what’s the point? As you hear about people getting it who were exactly like me anyway. Or younger / fitter / healthier etc 😩.

And then last night I saw an ad on tv, from su2cancer where a young dad died, it was heartbreaking. Then it went on to say 1 in 2 of us will develop the disease. One in 2 ffs. Half of us will get it. It terrifies me

Ironically I am not actually scared of dying itself. but I want to live a full and long a life as possible (as all of us do!) and what scares me the most is the thought of getting it, then hearing its terminal and just knowing you’ll die sooner rather than later and having to live with that knowledge. I’d fall to bits

I am so sorry if this thread triggers / upsets anyone. I just want it to stop taking over my life.

Oh OP, I would definitely look in to getting help with health anxiety.

Cancer treatment is forever improving and not always the death sentence it was in the past.

I would just feel silly going to the dr , perfectly well, and asking for help because I’m scared of a disease which might happen to me, might not . When they see actual ill people every day

Notcool im glad you are ok now x

Hi OP,

Health Anxiety is often caused by OCD so it would not be silly to see your GP but it might not be right for you.

You could see a CBT therapist privately if you do think talking therapy would help www.cbtregisteruk.com/Default.aspx . It's awful struggling with anxiety so whether it's through therapy or self-help it would be good to deal with it.

Someone mentioned being unable to read the word cancer or write it and at one point with my OCD (I had family-member focused health anxiety and other stuff) I was the same so my CBT therapist made me write the word, read about it and discuss and challenge my fears about the illness. It did help!

OP, I can absolutely relate. I developed health anxiety after my mum and dad both died of cancer within a couple of months of each other. I was absolutely paranoid and terrified, checking for symptoms all the time and diagnosing myself with various different cancers. My grief and anxiety were causing physical symptoms and these were always interpreted by me as signs of cancer. I went to the GP a lot during that time and had various scans and tests (some of which I paid for privately, largely because I probably knew on some level that I didn’t need them); and some of which were provided by NHS as there were symptoms that needed to be checked.

You probably don’t need me to tell you that the kinds of reassurances you can only get from scans and tests only work for so long. After a while, you likely start thinking that things might have changed since the scan, or ‘maybe they missed something’ because we’ve all heard those sad tales about diseases being missed until too late.

I eventually realised that I could only be truly reassured if I had a house full of drs and medical equipment to check me all day every day! Mindfulness is so useful for tackling this. Bringing yourself back to the present moment in your body is something you can try and do throughout the day. I was referred to some really good online resources for Health anxiety; will see if I can find it.

Apologies if I’ve duplicated what other posters have said; I haven’t read all of the replies yet.

Here you go OP. There’s loads of useful stuff on here. There’s information about what health anxiety is, and worksheets you can complete if you want. I did some of the exercises (and still do when I need to) and find them helpful. www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Health-Anxiety

Op that sounds awful. I would definitely see your GP about health anxiety.
I have cancer and no, your post wasn't triggering or offensive. (And I'm young with kids etc too). You said you had a scare and had to wait for results? In my experience that is the worst bit of the whole cancer thing. The waiting to find out if I had it! Worst week of my life. It's the coming face to face with your own mortality that's so traumatic I found.
I said to myself that even if I got the all clear, just going through that changed me as a person forever. I think CBT or a talking therapy might help? Be kind to yourself. Xxx

You should never feel silly, in some ways I found health anxiety so overwhelming it was harder to deal with then the cancer had been. Therapy changed my life and I would never feel embaressed to go back and get help again in the future. You don't want to waste your life being consumed by health anxiety, believe me I have been there, done that. You are not alone in the way you feel and I urge you to chat to your gp, I promise you won't regret it x

I think you need to go and get help with your anxiety. It’s impacting on your life and is irrational and disproportionate.
I say that as someone diagnosed with a moderately aggressive breast cancer in 2009. Most of us don’t die these days. It’s a year of not particularly pleasant treatment but then life gets back to normal and the cancer gets put in a psychological archive until the annual mammogram. You can’t let it control your life and take up too much of the good times.
Worrying about cancer is robbing you of your life with your child. You should be enjoying time with your little one, planning for your futures and not fretting about unlikely occurrences.

tahiti yes I think my scare changed me as a person forever esp combined with the birth of a baby

I would love to go back to the carefree person I was 😔

And I hope you make a full recovery, you sound so brave and awesome

And thank you notcool and cherry

I need to seek help don’t i 😩

healthanxiety it's just two days after my first chemo and my cancer has shrank already. I'm considerably less lumpy of neck!

Go see your GP and get some help. Good luck! XXX

Op I completely sympathise. I've managed to convince myself many times that I have cancer. Like you, even typing the word makes me feel stressed! I'm 34 and know two people that died of cancer in their thirties and one who is currently undergoing treatment. It's terrifying. I also have such a sense of my own mortality now I have kids and am so aware how much they need me. I have very morbid thoughts sometimes.

Mine seems to come and go, at the minute I can rationalise things well but sometimes my fears spiral out of control.

When I have an ailment I have this cycle of thoughts- "oh it's cancer....of course it's not cancer that's very unlikely....but it COULD be though and ignoring it could kill me". Cheery!

Awww That’s great Tahiti. Really positive news, good riddance to the lump!

Boohoo mine comes and goes too

I would rather it would just “go” tbh

I also have health anxiety and my biggest worry is cancer. Like you I feel guilty even saying this but it really is my biggest fear. I hate hearing the ‘1 in 2’ people thing, it’s frightening. It was 1 in 3 around 5 years ago which was bad enough. All the people I know (friends and family) who’ve had cancer haven’t survived and non were over 70. My granny died aged 56 only 2 months after diagnosis. Most stories I read are people who are treated and then find out it has spread and it is terminal.

That’s awful babby I’m sorry to hear that 😔

Yes I remember it being one in 3. Why the fucks it gone up to one in 2 😱 where’s it gona be in another 5 years, absolutely everyone will deffo get it 😩😩😩

I have this specifically over cancer too. Got a lump looked at last week and could not think of anything else for weeks beforehand. The dread feeling is horrible, and having children has definitely made it worse. I also have terrible anxiety over my daughter's health, she was sick in the morning once and I was so convinced it was a brain tumour I couldn't function.

I know I don't want to pass this on to her so I need to do something about it but not sure what, although sounds like cbt may be the way to go.

I suspect it's now 1 in 2 because of longevity. The longer people live the more likely it is they'll get it.

There was a story about a potential cancer cure breakthrough the other day but it did make me wonder if governments would ever allow it to get that far as a cure for cancer would surely completely screw the world with over population. But children dying of cancer is utterly heartbreaking.

Sorry, that wasn't very cheery!

OP you have no idea how relieved I am you did this thread. Your first post is me summed up in one. I am the exact same. I convince myself I have the C word at any given opportunity. My friends, family and DP think I'm losing the plot

I get myself so worked up, I have had panic attacks before and ended up in a heap of tears due to my excessive worrying. I've never considered this could be a genuine condition and health anxiety.

Thank you for posting this, I needed to read a thread like this to see all the suggestions for help.

Yep costa coffee that’s exactly how I was as well. I hope your lump was nothing ominous, I’m sure it wasn’t!

Awwww pouraglass I’m sorry you feel like this too. It really is shit Isn’t it x

I have it also, although much better now than I was this time last year. It is anxiety related or was for me.
It peaked when I found a lump in my throat and was tested for leukaemia. It came back negative and I think this shook me out of the constant fear although it does still worry me lots.
Definitely don't feel stupid for going to the Dr, they can help you understand what's going on in your brain and can offer you reassurance. I'd say sooner the better as it can get worse if you just let it spiral.

Please talk to your GPs. It's far easier to manage someone with health anxiety if you can have an open and honest discussion about things. It's not stupid, you can't help it and don't want to feel like this !

Not sure if it got missed upthread, but these resources are a good starting point. They are based around the CBT process and would be a useful thing to look at if you have to wait a while for a referral:

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Health-Anxiety

Sadly cancer is seen as a business to the pharmaceutical companies and this prevents people being given the opportunities to try new trials and treatments . Some googling of Cancer Research means it is also not a charity I would trust or give money to. Very sad and cruel.