To just give up - my world is crashing in on me

[WantItToEnd]

I’m a good person I don’t deserve this. I try to be the best mum I can be I’m nice to everyone.
My neighbours all hate me, I’ve been slagged off and wendied out of my group of mum friends. Started a new job and no one speak to me. I’m invisible.
I’m tired, I’ve got ptsd I have nightmares every day.
I love my kids and partner but they are the only joy in my otherwise dark and hopeless world.

Sorry you're so low OP, things sound very tough. What's happening with the neighbours?

Sorry you are going through a tough time OP, have you had any treatment for the PTSD, that would be my first thing to tackle and it will help with the sleep issue. EMDR therapy for ptsd is supposed to have great results, it is something I am looking in do myself.

Oh gosh you sound very low

How long have you felt like this?

Ptsd since aug/sept.
But low longer than that.
Wish I could go to sleep and wake up. Every day is painting on a brave face while people treat me like shit

Neighbours clique that I was in until I stood up for someone they were bitching about and ganging up on. Least of my problems really but even in my own home I can’t have peace.

I gained over 2 stone in last few months I look and feel like death.

You've got a home, you've got a job and you've got a partner and DC. The work colleagues will just take a bit of time to get to know you, and you're too busy to worry about the neighbours anyway.

you need some help, can you call your doctor asap, and also is there one particular friend or relative you can confide in? People are astonishingly ignorant and just may not realise how low you are. Don't despair.

Are you getting support for your PTSD OP?

@WantItToEnd have you visited your doctor? I think you need some help.

Please see your GP or at least call the Samaritans, who are wonderful at just listening.

I know its hard to turn things around but you need to focus on the good things in your life (your kids and husband), the neighbours are not important, your work colleagues are not important, push them out of your head, tell yourself they are not worth stressing about.

Go and see your GP for medication/therapy. Things will get better, some things you can change yourself, the things you can’t change you need to stop worrying about as worrying won’t change them.

Your a good mum, a good wife and that’s all that matters. You can do things to improve your health and weight when you are ready too.

Please don't give up.
It sounds like all these separate issues have become one big issue which is so overwhelming.
Firstly try only to think of hour by hour, then day by day. Definitely speak to your GP. Even just getting it off your chest will make you feel a little lighter. Trust me.

As regards your neighbours. You've seen what they are really like and found the strength to call them out on it. That's one huge achievement just there.
Negative people like that will actually drag you down.
Focus now on just looking after yourself and only being around those that love and want the best for you.

Your partner and kids love you. Keep trying to remember that.

I'm sorry you feel this way. Have you considered counseling? Even short term until you're able to sort things out your head?

I was sort of struck by you saying "even in my own home I can’t have peace". Is there some sort of ongoing problem that needs sorting or just (like mine) a house with abnormally loud DP and DC in it?

Hi OP

So sorry you are feeling low. Please call the Samaritans- you can call them even with no credit on phone.

Your kids love you, your partner loves you, you have so much compared to some (hard to ‘know’ that when you feel low I realise)

Keep talking, you aren’t alone xxx

I think it is easier not to put on a mask when you feel like death. You are a real person, not an ornament. I find masking hard at the best of times. You might find that you have more mental energy not masking.

And maybe stop doing stuff you know that others can fill in - a lot of people are cheeky fuckers who don't know how much other people put themselves out for until they're gone. I've recently mentally cut a bond with people whom I thought were good friends but who turned out to be selfish and self-unaware all the time they thought of me as their god.

Op are you on medication? I only ask as I was exactly like you 6 months ago. I started on sertraline and had cbt, now I hardly recognise myself for the better. I'm mentally so much stronger and able to cope

Dear OP I have been in your very shoes. Including the PTSD, new job and weight gain, and no peace even on my own home.

Like you, I thought my world was crashing in on me.

I got counselling, including EMDR, and things slowly began to resolve. That was over 5 years ago, and I still go to counselling every couple of months.

There is a way through this, OP. Please don't give up.