Aibu or how do I address this with friend?

[Livelaughlovetoday]

We have been friends for a few years, we are in different stages of life and I feel frustrated.

My friend messages daily, wants to see me for coffees, but when she comes over stays for hours and offloads about her life. The same thing I’ve heard for a long time. Even though I say I have things I need to get done. Asks me for favors when I’m sick and really stressed and she knows this! And I now haven’t responded to her texts or emails.

I just feel as if I have allowed this friend to take energy, time and resources from me and I don’t get much fulfillment from this relationship anymore.

Friend lives a few doors down from me.

What do I do? Aibu?

If she's staying for hours and it's becoming an issue you could to hers instead that way you can just leave when you've had enough.

Do you still like her? In what way are you at different stages? Does she need you more than you need her for a specific reason? More responsibilities etc? There may come a time when it swings the other way and you need her more.

Doesn't sound nice at all. I had a friend who always insisted on having a moan to me about something, in fact, it got to the stage where seeing her became a chore, as she made me feel flat with all her negative comments, always seemed to have a problem. I'd help anybody out, at any time, but this was entirely different.
Any way this went on for years and in the end I realised that it wasn't a friendship, it was all just one sided. The friendship ended when she had a go at me for putting my son before a meet up with her! So silly.
So OP what I'm trying to say is, if it's making you feel that way then it's probably not worth the stress! Difficult if you live close, could you just try and distance yourself?

When I say we are at different stages of life, I mean my time is taken up by younger children. Her children are grown up. She always pleads poverty but has done several holidays overseas in the last year. Thailand, Vietnam, Australia. But is not quick to pay for a coffee, breakfast, give me a birthday gift, anything. But comes over to my home, frequently asks me for favors and I just feel like a fool because I hate hurting people’s feelings but I feel completely taken advantage of. But I’ve had enough. I don’t know how to deal with this. If it’s unreasonable.

Just another thing bothered me a few nights ago I have a family member I. Town and while I haven’t been well I said my friend was welcome to join for an early dinner. At almost 9pm dinner is long over she goes into my kitchen which I’ve long cleaned and pours herself another drink before telling me I can go to bed, she is going to chat to my sister. My sister was exhausted and sense of humour long gone so I told my friend that she’s exhausted. She mutters that it’s not even late. She then gets her things and leaves.

The more I think about this I realize I need to end this friendship.

Talk to her or just avoid her?

Yep, she sounds so selfish! I'd probably try and dwindle off meeting up, do you think she'd take the hint if you made a few excuses! I hate upsetting people too, but you need to put yourself first. Good luck 🍀

Just have an honest conversation with her about how you feel and keep it straight to the time allocated to her! Put a timer on you phone! She’ll get it eventually

Ask her for a favour and see what she does. Chances are she’ll back off.

No don't ask her for a favour, she might make a big deal about doing it to put you in her debt.
Just say 'no' to her coming over and don't do any more favours.