Son hitting and biting...

[countrystumpkin]

My son is 18 Months old and hopefully starting nursery when he is 2.

He is a well behaved child except for this one thing. He hits out when a child or adult get in his face - which surprisingly happens very often (people approaching him in shops, young children running up to him if he’s in the park etc).

He doesn’t like anyone getting too close to his face - even us or grandparents - but I fear it comes across as naughty and bullying behaviour.

Obviously we tell him off, speak sternly, tell him it’s very naughty, remove him from the situation and sit him down away from the fun etc, but it’s the one thing that he doesn’t listen to us about.

Any advice? I guess it’s not so much an AIBU but just need some tips on how to stop him from hitting when he feels uncomfortable. Anyone?

That sounds tricky because he's reacting to his personal space being invaded. He's not naughty though as you say. He just doesn't know how else to get people out of his face. It also doesn't help that he has no empathy yet so can't relate to others feelings.

If he hits I would get down to his level, hold both his hands (but not tightly) look him in the eye and sternly say "We do not hit. Hitting hurts." Keep it short and simple. Start to tell and teach him why you don't do it rather than just saying 'no'. If he does it a second time sit him on his bum, turn him away from the fun so you've got his attention and explain again. If you need to do it a third time then remove him from the situation completely and explain again. This normally results in tears because you physically pick them up and walk away with them and they can see play time is over.

I found doing that consistently with my DS helped curb unwanted behaviour. It took consistency and perseverance though. He started to recognise the 'telling off' routine and that that meant play time was about to stop. Also, my son found me saying "No!" to him hysterical. He would laugh so hard if I ever said it to him! Bloody frustrating and embarrassing though when you're trying to prove to onlookers that your child isn't naughty and you do discipline them!

As for him going to nursery soon don't worry. All toddlers have to learn what is and isn't socially acceptable, like not hitting. The nursery staff will be on hand to help there and show him how to behave nicely day to day when you're not around. There will be days you pick him up and you'll be told he pushed another child over. There will be other days where he'll be the one who got pushed over. You're not alone