Have name changed and blurred details a bit but question is do I tell the mother of my DD's friend that she was pregnant.
I found out because DD was involved in supporting her and told me, which in the circumstances was I happy that she had done and thought DD and other friend had done all the right things but they clearly wanted an adult to talk things through with. What complicates things is that DD is at boarding school in the VIth form and pregnant girl is 18., school know, school know my DD and another friend knows, they know I know and also that I know the mum reasonably well. Pregnant girl was clearly not coping with the aftermath after half-term - she is quite vulnerable and is under Camhs and had serious issue previously that school didn't tell her mother about again due to confidentiality but eventually it all came out.
What worries me, DD and her friend is that obviously school can't break confidentiality and can't tell them what is going on with now not pregnant girl but they feel unsupported and in v small girls boarding house the tension is terrible as boarding staff know but can't talk, some teaching staff know and also can't talk, DD and friend think everything will explode and they can't cope with all this anymore.
They can talk to a couple of members of staff but school's attitude is that situation is only a few days old and things will settle down but obviously DD and friend have been dealing with whole situation for far longer - DD said today that 72 hours felt like 72 days. DD and friend told adult when not pregnant girl was in a really bad way mentally and were really worried. Boarding staff are now so busy supporting not pregnant girl that any other issues are not being addressed and several girls have or have issues of their own to deal with - family, study, and usual things that happen when a small group of teenagers are living cheek by jowl.
I feel that I would want to know if it were my DD going through all this and would want her home to recuperate and support her. I'm also naturally concerned that DD is feeling overwhelmed by whole situation and wants it sorted by the adults. I also don't think it's fair for school to ask DD and friend to keep quiet and it all feels wrong that there are so many secrets washing around a v small community to the extent that all the other girls to a lesser or greater degree know there is something up.
School has a history of brushing things under the carpet to the point that parents imaginations run wild whenever anything at all happens and also students seem only to trust that some of the staff are really doing all they should to support everyone.