AIBU and WWYD?

[somethingunsualcauseicanthink]

Sorry Long
The basic is myself and my elder sister have had a massive fallout, its not a NC reason, its just because we are 2 very different people and to be honest it has gotten to the stage that I am not sure what the fuck it was about. That was 9 months or so ago, but we can go months without speaking and also after arguments everything has been aired and we go back to our corners.

Since then I and my family (DP and DS) have been through a massive stressful period, we moved twice in a very short amount of time, been so skint we can't afford food that sort of thing, but now we are back to being roughly even and to be fair the rest of my family have supported me.

That is just background, I texted my mum after the first move didn't think anything about it, till I got a notification on whatsapp family group, where she was really horrible about me, my parenting style and saying how sorry she felt for my DS, followed by a message from my elder sister stating roughly the same.

My other sister popped up stating that I could see this and to fucking stop it. My elder sister promptly deleted her commented and sent a private message to me saying sorry. By that point I was so pissed off I had deleted myself from the family group.

My mother has not apologised and just said she was a tad drunk.

It has now come to Christmas and they all want us round to celebrate, which I am not up for and have said so. The answer seems to be that my DS (age 6) goes, which considering my mum and my elder sister option of me and my life is not something I want him to be around.

But then I feel bad because my other sister is going to miss out, he has no idea of what has happened, and he loves his family, my partner doesn't have any family so this is it.

My partner is dead against it, but has also left the ball in my court.

If you have made it this far thanks.

TL;DR Sister and Mother slagged me off do I let DS go round for Christmas

You send your ds the message it's acceptable to be treated like shit and let people get away with it!!

Say no.
Just arrange to meet nice sister on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day and have the day as a family.

He shouldn’t be passed around. If you don’t want to go, don’t send him. I assume this is at least partly about presents though.

Invite the nice sister around over Christmas . There is no way I would send my child alone to visit people who had such a poor opinion of me. They have no right to see your child when they have been abusive. Sometimes in family situations we are too close to see the while picture clearly. So listen to your husband he has yours and your sons best interests at heart, not sure your family do

@whereismumhiding2 has given some great advice. Send that message and then go from there. Whilst you do not want to widen the rift, you also want to make it clear you are not a door mat and being twatty is really not acceptable.

Thank you for all your advice, you have all confirmed what I was thinking, I dont want to widen the rift but I am also not happy to have my son used in this manner, there are also a few other factors as well I have to consider but not overly important to this.

Oh no, you definitely never send your DS in your own. Yiure quote right

You (DP, DD, you) come as a package and go as a family together all the time.
Otherwise that's widening the rift, not healing it.

No way would I send him! You're giving them what they want, so they have no need to try and get on with you. They can treat you badly and still get to have your DS for Christmas. Stuff that. Yes it's a shame for your other DSis, but that's the way it goes. Maybe get together with her another day.