So first off I'm prefacing this with I'm in the USA. I only am bringing this up as we have Thanksgiving before Christmas. This is also going to be a bit of a long story sorry for that.
I've been married to my husband for 16 years. I've been paraplegic and unable to walk at all for 5 years. We have two children aged, 14 and 12. My mother in law puts up 0 effort to spend time with us and our children. She's not seen them since January as it is. We live 4 minutes from her house.
However I cannot get into her house easily. She is up on a large hill, has not put up any sort of ramp or even a piece of wood and hoards her house pretty full of items and dogs (she has 4 dogs).
We go to her house on Thanksgiving and Christmas and my husband physically carries me into the house. However last Christmas carrying me down the hill we both fell and he hurt his knee and I broke my shoulder.
I invite her to our home for dinner and to see the kids and she never comes. Saying she's too tired. Well the time of year has come she's demanding we come to her house for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas. I've refused this year. After the fall last year I'm too scared to get injured if we fall down the hill again. I've told her I'd be happy to host Thanksgiving here and she can come here Christmas evening for presents and stuff.
She's taken to facebook complaining I never let her see her grandchildren and I'm the demon spawn from hell. She complains that my parents see my kids all the time. Well 1 my dad built a ramp to his home so I can get inside and 2 he comes to my house regularly to take the kids with him and go do stuff. He's putting effort into spending time with them. Mother in law just sits in her house and complains and turns down about 6 dinner invites a month.
Am I being unreasonable here? I should also mention....my husband is not close with his mother as his grandparents raised him and he doesn't want to go to her home either really.