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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think someone being suspended is a waste of public money?

84 replies

suspended101 · 08/11/2018 17:51

DH was suspended from work six months ago. Since then, we have had next to no communication and still are none the wiser.

DH is beside himself and very depressed, barely sleeping and not engaging well with dc, I am working a bit as we are very worried about money if this doesn't end well, but I don't like him being left with dc when hes like this.

AIBU to think the investigation should have more speed?

OP posts:

reallybadidea · 08/11/2018 18:59

I think that for medical/healthcare regulatory body proceedings it is usual to hire a solicitor to represent you. I know you're not at that stage and hopefully won't get there, but maybe it's worth trying to get in touch with one and see whether they can advise you on the current situation?

Or even an employment lawyer who can perhaps rattle some cages or just give some general advice?

CoughLaughFart · 08/11/2018 19:02

The NHS would be a bit less overstretched if it didn't have so many unproductive staff on full pay sat at home on the one hand and so many overstretched staff in danger of making clinical errors on the other.

If he’s made a questionable enough decision to have been suspended for six months, I’d rather he was sat at home than practicing.

Bluelady · 08/11/2018 19:09

I've known doctors suspended for three years. It takes as long as it takes, if it goes against him you'll be OK for money in the short term, they'll pay him off and the first £30k is tax free.

Lovestonap · 08/11/2018 19:16

ok, this might sound silly but in the absence of any information or action required your dh needs to try and treat this as paid holiday - with the attitude that all will be right in the end. Otherwise the uncertainty will (as it already is) slowly wear him down.

I think it's awful that there is no communication - and I've worked with some people who are suspended for over a month before they're even told what for - which is terrible. Clearly the wheels of bureaucracy grind slow. It's more likely to relate to the system as a whole than the level of 'awfulness' of your dh's action.

ACAS can advise, as can lawyers, and check out to see if his employer have an EAP because they too often have both adviser's and mental health support which he will be entitled to.

I'm sorry you're both going through this.

ButchyRestingFace · 08/11/2018 19:21

Why doesn’t he pull his socks up and see it as an opportunity to do something different? He could write a novel or start a business or whatever. He’s being a bit wet really.

Oh Racer, you are a one...

explodingkittensexpansion · 08/11/2018 19:24

the first £30k is tax free.

Not any more , rules changed in April

sweeneytoddsrazor · 08/11/2018 19:24

Write a novel? Yes thats bound to be the top of everyones things to do whilst suspended list.

Princessmushroom · 08/11/2018 19:30

When he’s back at work he will see how he could have used this time wisely.

So the process is going to take as long as it will take. It sounds like he needs his confidence building up again and then all this free time! DIY, playing with the children, doing that Thing he always wanted to do. Most people would be envious of the paid time off and he just needs reminding of that and seeing that.

Good luck OP!

Original poster

suspended101 · 08/11/2018 19:32

I really think you must be on another planet love

He's facing losing everything and most people would be envious? Seriously?

OP posts:

costacoffeecup · 08/11/2018 19:37

Most people would be envious of the paid time off?!! What?

The stress must be immense op. I am sure if he is someone who sets a lot of store in his profession he must be very upset. Six months is an awfully long time to leave someone in this position so I hope it's resolved soon.

theWarOnPeace · 08/11/2018 19:40

My sympathy for him would depend on the likelihood of allegations being true of false, and ultimately he IS being paid. He could look into his options if struck off etc, work in a shop or something in the meantime if he can’t look after the kids and you have money worries. I do think 6 months is a waste of public money, but in your postition I think I’d be struggling more with the reasons for the suspension and if he was or wasn’t going to peel himself off the floor and do something to both move on to another job and be a part of the family.

costacoffeecup · 08/11/2018 19:41

And if he's a doctor he has my absolute sympathy as it's an impossible job in the NHS and exhausted and overworked doctors seem to be being used as scapegoats for its failings. I have one in the family.

HoleyCoMoley · 08/11/2018 19:41

What a horrid situation, it's not really a waste of money if the investigation is actually going on, it's for everyones safety. Is he in a Union who he can speak to, find out what is happening, what stage are they at. Has he thought about what he wants to do once the investigation is over, does he think he might receive some sort of sanction, does he want to continue working there afterwards.

NoLeslie · 08/11/2018 19:42

I know someone who was suspended, the alleged thing was found to be not a thing, they went back to work. I have no doubt they were innocent and the stress of it was horrendous for them and their family. I am not sure how else it could have been handled but I really feel for you OP, and your DH. All you want is for life to go back to normal. It's not the time to write a fucking novel that's for sure

Raspberry88 · 08/11/2018 19:46

Why doesn’t he pull his socks up and see it as an opportunity to do something different? He could write a novel or start a business or whatever. He’s being a bit wet really.
FFS. Someone close to me was suspended from a public sector job for a completely unfair and ridiculous reason and it was utter hell for them. Ended up with PTSD because of the incident that led up to it and has been on antidepressants since. Facing the loss of your livelihood tends to make people feel 'a bit wet'. for you OP

Oblomov18 · 08/11/2018 19:48

"He's facing losing everything "

No. He's not. That's rubbish. Bullshit. Losing what? His children, his wife, his marriage, his health, his qualifications and work experience. His house?

Whilst being suspended is indeed stressful, and I have been, you dont lose everything.

It's horrible. It's stressful. Eventually you may have to get a new job.
And?

Original poster

suspended101 · 08/11/2018 19:52

Well, yes. Children and wife, no.

Health - yes. Has been destroyed by this.

Qualifications - yes, rendered useless if the final outcome is struck off.

House - yes, if we can't pay for it.

See?

Add to that name dragged through the mud, local and possibly national press. Would you like it?

OP posts:

Caprisunorange · 08/11/2018 19:55

Tbf, from OPs husbands POV he’s best off waiting it out on full pay.

That doesn’t detract from OPs point that generally it’s a waste of public money- if course it is. It’s laziness

SinkGirl · 08/11/2018 19:55

Well, “you may have to get a new job. And?” might apply if you work in other sectors, but if you’ve spent your life training and working as a medical professional and you’re struck off, it’s not quite as easy as “get another job”, is it?

I’m sure its massively stressful with not knowing what’s happening. Surely they need to keep his union rep / solicitor updated if he has one?

Do you think it’s likely it will go against him? Is it something that’s easy to prove / disprove / are there witnesses to whatever happened?

Of course in these cases someone needs to be suspended but the total lack of information isn’t okay.

Then again, if a doctor does something heinous and then even if they get struck off they get a nice pay off, that’s absolutely ridiculous.

Oblomov18 · 08/11/2018 19:57

Would I like it?
No. No one does.

But you're making it sound worse than it needs to be.
Will his name be dragged through the papers? Who is he? Philip Green?

Original poster

suspended101 · 08/11/2018 19:59

with respect ob, you have no idea whatsoever what we are potentially facing

OP posts:

Caprisunorange · 08/11/2018 20:01

Christ Oblomov what’s wrong with you? It’s extremely humiliating. Things like this have long lasting consequences.

Princessmushroom · 08/11/2018 20:01

Well I’m not the one with a husband who is suspended facing investigation am I?

Just trying to help love. I thought I gave a thoughtful response with ideas but clearly not

theWarOnPeace · 08/11/2018 20:03

Why would his name be dragged through the national press if he hasn’t done anything wrong? I can see why he would be distraught if he’d done nothing wrong and of course you want the whole thing resolved ASAP, but all of us going through any kind of shit situation need to face it head on and get practical. If he’s suffering from depression he needs to go to his GP. If he deserves the suspension pr not, he can’t spend six months wallowing. I get that it’s extremely stressful, but your responsibilities have to override the anger and upset. Unless, as I said, he’s clinically depressed well then that needs to be addressed too.

Original poster

suspended101 · 08/11/2018 20:04

He is in ADs but they aren't a cure all as I am sure you know

OP posts:

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