DD (9) said she was going to stab herself

[NotSoThinLizzy]

DD has ADHD and is waiting to get tested for autism. Today in a melt down she picked up a knife and said she was going to stab herself. Took it off her and tried talking to her but she didn't want to know. I've just done a recently watched on YouTube and there's this animated cartoon and the girl "stabs" herself (you don't see it happening). DD must've watched this. So my question is do you think it's just something she's copying or should I call someone about it? She's seeing the peditracion next week should I wait untill then?

And I'm ready for the nasty comments bring them on 😊

I’d get some advice tbh from your gp. And I’d also make sure anything dangerous is out of the way until she’s seen and keep a close eye on her.
And monitor what she is exposed to online but I’m sure you will be doing that more closely from now on.

I would definitely mention it. My son did a few worrying things after his first Camhs appointment which I felt needed mentioning as it was an escalation. Some of them were things he copied or ideas he got into his head from somewhere else. It’s actually one of his biggest problems. It doesn’t really matter whether or not it was copied in my opinion because the end result is the same.

By that I mean that you should call up Camhs and let them know. They’ve always drummed into me to call them at any point if I’m concerned and that we don’t need to wait for the next appointment.

Ok doke will get on the phone. She's quite happy in herself eating normally sleeping as she should and I think she was just doing it to get my attention but I think it's worth getting it checked out as it's not something I should be pushing aside. Just kinda threw me off I didn't really know what to do

I would lock away knives and sharp objects in the meantime to be on the safe side.

I’ve had this with my dd too when very distressed - it’s more common than you’d think to hear this sort of thing at school, I’ve heard a few kids in her class saying similar - although my dd did run for knives a few times and threaten to chop up pets, stab me whilst I was sleeping, kill me before I got much older etc.

The psychologist we saw didn’t seem very phased, my dd has autistic traits and it was during a period of high anxiety - she’s (touch wood) calmer.

And my the answer to your op is that they are both copying, AND it is worrying as it’s a sign of their anxiety/distress. My dd wants to hurt me as I think I’m closest, and when she’s meeting down (I think this is meltdown behaviour) try and calm her, you won’t get her to talk or she won’t know in that moment what the trigger is. Focus on the calm down.

That's a good plan. She's been perfect since that episode it kicked off because her dad wouldn't make her porridge this morning. And she's now telling me she's going to be an angel tomorrow. Sometimes I wonder if her behaviour is just her being naughty or if it's linked to her adhd possible auitsim

My DD is 9. She has autistic traits, issues with concentration and periods of anxiety, (but not enough to get a dx or any support because she is able to mask incredibly well...don't get me started on the fight the last four years have been.)

A couple of years ago, when we were going through assessment she began saying she wanted to kill herself. The support worker we were seeing at the time wasn't phased by that at all.

Only this week she has told me she hopes I die in my sleep, and lately she has began throwing things at me/punching me/threatening to throw things at me close to my face.

At this point I am just glad it is directed towards me rather than towards herself as for now at least I am still physically bigger and stronger than her.

So I think your DD is just copying what she has seen to get attention. I would definitely crack down on what she is seeing online...which I am sure you already know.

My DD has no electronic devices or access to the internet at all, as she just can't be trusted. Even with me sitting right beside her, she will watch all sorts of crap if I turn my head for a second.

OMG OP

You must so so worried.
For the short term I would put all knives out of reach

Yes internet is banned just now and going down okish I expect it to affect her tomorrow. I was even looking Into getting her a phone for Xmas but that's gone out the window 😂 for a while at least. She spoke to me about it and said the reason she said it was because she was soo angry and she got the idea from that cartoon. We've not got her hitting me anymore or biting so I'm taking that positive 😊 thanks for everyone kind words. I thought I was going to blamed and flayed xc

Also it was her baby brothers bday not long ago and he got a few gifts but the present she's picked for her bday in 2 weeks is very expensive so she's just getting that and a few small things like her favourite chocolate and I'm hand making her bday cake like I did her brothers think mabye she's worried I out as much effort into it

No nasty comments from me, I feel for you.

It's extremely unlikely that your daughter would stab herself but she does need help.

My dd we also have to have very set limits on screen use as she just can’t handle it and always wants to watch stuff about teens etc that’s far too old for her. A strong routine helps us - you get to watch it for 30-60 mins post homework, dinner and reading.

I find when my dd is off, anxiety wise, then small things like small changes such as the porridge would set her off. In my dd’s case she’d try and wear something that she wasn’t supposed to for school and that’d be the trigger but the underlying question is why the anxiety is heightened overall.

Could be the birthday - my dd couldn’t stand watching her younger sister opening presents

I got my dd a tablet last Xmas and it was a disaster - so many tantrums we now keep it on the kitchen and have a very strict routine. I’m a poor self regulator, so I don’t know what I was thinking really.

I’m still weak on finding better ways for dd to control the rages - we reduced them by setting up better routines and avoiding stressful situations but the quiet place we setup she loves, but she won’t go to it when she’s angry, she doesn’t withdraw.

I’ve not had any good tips on what to do when they are aggressively melting down and they won’t go to a quiet place etc.

I'm going to be completely honest some of the time we end up in shouting matches I try my hardest not to but by God does she know what buttons to press. When she angry she actively looks for a fight. Sometimes doing breathing exercises help depends how quick I nip it in the bud

I keep talking myself she's having these melt downs with me as in her safe place so to say. She very rarely does it at school but when she gets home it all comes out. I try to stop it before it starts by redirecting so baking or colouring or something

Sorry typos! Breastfeeding baby for sleep

Poor you OP, sorry I have no advice but I hope things get better for you soon 

Yes mine’s always when she sees me or at home too, i can see sometimes when I pick her up she’s worn out from trying to be good all day at school.

I’ve shouted at mine too - definitely looks for a fight to release her anger. The coping mechanisms and distractions don’t seem to work when they are fully engaged in the meltdown and that’s a common problem too.

sheepsheep agree, I’ve had really zero response from dd’s school because they just don’t see her behaving badly and she’s doing ok at school. I’ve had to cut my work hours drastically because dd won’t go to any after school or holiday club and not even a flicker of interest. She won’t do any clubs, activities or even join choir etc.

I do think she’s really tired out by school.

notsothin I’d hope camhs could give you a better idea of waitlist times as your dd is obviously needing support.