AIBU to want out of this situation?

[Sallycinnamon17]

AIBU to want out of this situation?
I’ve been helping run a paid baby group two times a week with a friend(1) and someone she knows(2). It was lady number 2’s idea originally and my friend agreed to help her. Friend(1) asked me if I wanted in on the group so I said yes. I was on mat leave at the time and didn’t think it would be so much hassle. It’s now taking over my life pretty much and lady number (2) is very demanding/bossy and outright rude when it comes to wanting me to do things. Demanding I need to buy things/make things in my spare time and pretty much stalking me on Facebook to see if I’m online then messaging me on different forms. Plus the constant mithering that goes on in the group WhatsApp, that I have muted but feel like I can’t even use WhatsApp now. Now they’re saying I can no longer bring my child with me even though she is within the age bracket the group is aimed at 🤷‍♀️(friend also brings her child). I have no childcare at all on these days so that wouldn’t be possible. I feel unreasonable for wanting to get out of this situation but it’s actually dragging me down into a dark place. How do I get out of this one?. My main issue is that I owe £140 to the group. When parents paid it was all paid into my bank account (I did not agree to this, I only agreed to a one off payment but friend (1) sent out my details numerous times). DP thought the money was ours (he was unaware of what had happened) and used £140 of the money. I explained this to friend(1) and (2) and agreed I’d pay back the money over time.

Just tell them you don't have the time to devote to this anymore. Your family needs come first. Not being able to take your own child to a group you volunteer for is ridiculous.

Can you borrow the money from parents or in-laws etc to pay back so you have no ties?

Sounds like a shambles and you'd be better off out of it. Surely there are tax implications for having business money paid into your account?

As for not being able to take your own child to the group - WTF? Bonkers.

This needs to stop.

Is there any way of getting hold of the money asap?

What was it to be used for? Hall hire?

Tell them you are stepping down to being an ordinary attendee with your child.

And find £140 asap to pay it off.

I would also possibly tell friend 2 to bugger off and leave you alone while you're at it. It sound miserable for you.

Sounds like a farce of a group tbh.

It's running as a business with the money going into our personal account?

Is it properly set up with insurances etc?

I'd find the money pay it back and run.

This doesn’t work for me anymore. I will pay back the money ASAP

Have they stopped DD from going to the group because of the £140 issue?

Either way, I’d send a message on the WhatsApp handing in your “resignation” and say the £140 will be handed into Lady 1 by xxxdate.

That's bonkers that you can't even take your DC. Say what Blonde put above and pay the money back asap. There is no upside to staying involved and many advantages to getting the hell out of there.

Why can't you take your child if they are in the right age bracket but your friend can? That just doesn't make any sense!

Borrow the money, pay it back immediately and leave them to it. Being a volunteer is a thankless task at the best of times and it shouldn't be stressing you out so much.

Running a group even as a volunteer not being paid takes up an incredible amount of time, it isn't just a case of helping out on the day. However it needs to be run properly, should have a bank account with 2 ideally 3 signatures needed, the correct insurance and somebody doing the accounts.

NancyDonahue I’ll see if anyone would be able to lend us the money to get this sorted. It would make things a lot easier to cut ties.

Nanny0gg Yes the money is used towards Hall/Room hire and resources. The money that was put into our account unknowingly was used on DP’s car after it’s MOT. He just glanced at the account and saw he had enough for some repairs, it’s only after we realised as if questioned why there was so much in the account.

I hope it's your husband who is paying the money back. If he's spent it on himself, you shouldn't end up out of pocket.

Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been in work and didn’t expect so many. As far as I’m aware the group is insured but that’s all I know as I don’t deal with that side. The money should never have gone into my account just a one off payment I knew about. I’m not sure where the money has been going since!? I’m not aware of any group account and I suspect no taxes are being paid.
As for my daughter not being allowed to attend, the reasoning is that the group now has a lot more younger babies attend. The groups age is 4-14 months and my DD is only 11 so should technically still be well within age limits. My plan is to send over a message later this evening explaining that this will be my last session, I’ll also be setting up a standing order for 2 months for £70 (rounded up) to my actual friends account. Lady 2 isn’t a friend of mine she’s friends with friend 1, she’s definitely someone I wouldn’t associate with. I’m just worried it will cause tension between me and friend 1.

Iaimtomisbehave1 the money was spent on repairs to the family car. Our money is joint and he is the main earner. All money goes into one account, we don’t see it as my money your money.

You're going to need to pay back the £140 regardless, so you might as well cut ties with the playgroup now and make repayment arrangements rather than continue with the misery and still have to pay back £140.

I hope it doesn't create issues with Friend 1, but if she's a good person I'm sure you'll be able to remain on good terms.