To not want my ex to take my daughter alone to meet his family?

[jaffajaffacake]

I NC'd for this. Sorry I'll try and keep this short.

My ex and I were together for two years and in that time I met his family twice. They were very cold with me and my ex never went to see them on his own (he'd cry whenever he had to go home to them and would say how much hated them) his mum would have screaming matches on the two occasions I did meet his family.

Ex spilt up with me when he found out I was pregnant, was awful during pregnancy begged me for an abortion then changed his mind, didn't make it to the birth or to birth registry (thank god). He then became a bit more active seeing DC 2/3 times a week. His mum met DC once in a coffee shop with me and ex as she refused to come to my home or let me in hers.

I've refused ex to take DC to his mothers on his own multiple times because of how they acted when I did meet them and also because ex doesn't know how to look after DC properly (DC is now 6 months) and also DC has bad separation anxiety.

I said his family were welcome to meet her but I would also have to be there.

Ex has now said he will be going through mediation.

AIBU?

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. Let him go to mediation - you have a strong case to present so let him go ahead.
I wouldn't let any child of mine into such a toxic setting.

You won't be able to sustain that stance long term. Unless you have significant enough concerns to get a legal stance that they're not allowed to see her then he will be able to take her to meet his family.

Does your ex take good care of your DD now? Does he take her out? How far away are his family?

@lalalalyra

He doesn't take her out because he can't cope with her, doesn't know what to do when she cries, he hands her to me and if I refuse to help him with something (I always tell him to just attempt to look after her on his own) he gets angry with me and says since I'm there I should be helping him.

His family live about an hour away

This is going to sound very strange but just to add to this my ex makes a LOT of "jokes" about him being abused by a family member when he was younger. It's not funny and I absolutely hate it but the fact he makes jokes about it deeply upsets me and just gives me even more concern

Please someone some advice needed :(

As she's a 6 month old baby and he has never cared for her alone through choice even for an hour, of course yanbu!

YANBU because she is tiny and he can't or won't care for her himself.

The mediation threat is probably just him trying to pressurise you and he won't actually go through with it. But if you do end up in mediation, you can present your concerns and ask him to come up with a plan for addressing them.

That would need to include an undertaking by him to ensure dd have NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER with the family member who abused him.