Birthdays and exes

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

Long term reader first time poster! Me and my ex broke up almost three years ago now and he has been an almost absent parent for my DD and DS for that time, this year he has visited around 4 times, my DD is about to turn 6 and her birthday is on a school day, he has said that he wants to take her out for the evening without me but I have said no and he needs to deal with the fact I am her 24/7 main parent and when we do something I am coming as I won't have seen her all day and I can't see her wanting to leave me at hone while she goes out for her birthday celebrations. AIBU not allowing him to have one on one time with her even though he makes almost zero effort most of the rest of the year or should I be taking a step back? My daughter has said she wants me to be involved in her celebrations but he he acting like I'm being the most awful person ever not allowing him to have her to himself even though he knows it is a school day and I would like to spend some time with her also, just because I see her all the time shouldn't mean I have to be banned when he is around right, especially on special occasions?

I'd tell him to take a running jump.

I don't know why you even have to justify yourself - I'd tell him to do one.....unless he is able to show over a significant period of time that he is willing to take an active and positive roll as a Parent, he has no rights whatsoever.....and then it's still completely up to you - and what you decide is best for your LO's....him turning up making demands once a year is not healthy for them - that's my opinion

Why on earth if he can't be fucked to parent any other day does he think he has rights to special days.
I'd tell him to do one. If you were feeling nice you could invite him to go out with all of you but even then you shouldn't have to.