Is this a performance issue?

[WinnieWill]

I’m working with a new team of German from a different office, 9 men and 1 woman, and we all sit in the same tiny room to work, have lunch together etc. Quite intense.

The person who has been giving me work has quite a combative/aggressive style and will repeatedly check my understanding of sth/question me to teach me. However this is all done in front of everyone in the small room and sometimes I think I’m making a fool of myself as I respond stupidly due to the pressure (having everyone there) and make silly mistakes: Equally he expects me to ask questions as the work is quite difficult.

Today things came to a head when I asked him a question and he replied in quite an accusatory way, I obviously felt stressed. He then sent a private message (in German) obviously frustrated with me to a senior person who was in the room. It translated as “am I not being sufficiently clear?”

I’m really stressed about this as quite often they all chat in Germsn and obviously the rest of the team can see that I’m struggling to answer his responses. I’m also ashamed as I take pride in being easy to get on with and not bad st my job (although I am junior and this is a brand new piece of work) - so this is so embarrassing

The message was accidentally sent to me btw

Please help

He sounds pretty direct, maybe that’s just the culture in that team. I would see the accidental email as an opportunity to express your discomfort. Hopefully he’ll be embarrassed at his incompetence if nothing else and maybe soften up a bit.

Perhaps you can try drafting a direct response with a suggestion of a better approach?

Maybe he is genuinely worried he isn't being clear so keeps asking and then you get flustered and then it's a vicious circle? Try and take a second before you answer.

I also think it's rude to chat in German unless you also speak German? Maybe you could raise that with your boss.

Surely it can only be a performance issue if you aren't performing though not just because you get flustered.

Do you speak German? What I mean is, is he the one speaking in his native language or are you?

He is the one speaking in his native language. I only speak English.

I am considered it is a performance issue because this is the first time I’m doing the task and I feel like he is looking for a response like, no it’s her (ie me) she’s slow! He’s obviously busy and I’m so stressed I can’t even remember anything we did today. Honestly not with it.

It's more of a cultural issue, than anything else: I've worked extensively with German people in the past and they are generally considerably more 'brisk' than we tend to be in the UK.

I find Germans (and also the Dutch, and sometimes the Swiss!) have quite a direct way of doing things - they don't 'hum and haw' their way around situations in the same way we do.

Interestingly, German colleagues have told me in the past that they find UK colleagues frustrating, because we all speak 'in code' and they have to decipher what we actually want them to do!

Culture clashes happen, it's no big issue, but you should perhaps have a quick word with your manager just to make sure everybody is on the same page.

Also - and this is purely an observation, based on my experience - German people have a very clear dividing line between work and their personal lives: there is no expectation of being friends with colleagues and therefore perhaps not the same level of 'social niceties' that we expect in the UK.

In the UK, and also when I worked in France and Spain, people socialise with colleagues a lot, but it's not really a thing in the Teutonic countries - you come in, do your job, go home, for the most part.

As I say, purely an observation based on spending quite a lot of time working in both the UK and Europe and working with people from the Continent.