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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its not bloody hard to RSVP!

18 replies

PumpkinPie2016 · 07/11/2018 19:00

My son is in reception and his birthday is coming up. Booked a soft play party with the mum of another child in the class whose birthday is the same day.

Invited the whole class - sent invitations a couple of weeks ago to give plenty of notice.

Our of 28 children - 11 have replied Angry

I don't drop off but the other mum does and both our numbers are on the invites.

So now, because a need to confirm numbers soon she is going to have to try and chase up in the playground and/or we will have to send reminds notes as we don't have all phone numbers or a Facebook group etc.

AIBU to think it's really not difficult to RSVP - I know people are busy but so am I and I still reply to invitations as soon as I get them Angry

OP posts:
Sparkingfizzing · 07/11/2018 19:10

It's infuriating isn't it? So rude and lazy. No excuse in most cases.

I'm in the same boat. Of 16 invites, only 6 replied without further prompting. I texted another 4 as I had their numbers and only 2 replied that. So only half of the parents have bothered to reply. Angry

Sorry to say, the parents don't suddenly gain manners as the kids get older. There some kids we don't bother to invite anymore because we know the parents are can't be bothered to reply.

BigArmo · 07/11/2018 19:16

It’s rude as hell.
Maybe ask the teacher to tell the parents as they pick up their dc to remind them about the rsvp or put a note in the book bags.

Leeds2 · 07/11/2018 19:16

Used to really irritate me, and you end up feeling that you are in the wrong when you have to do the chasing!

Pissedoffdotcom · 07/11/2018 19:18

This is why i put a clear cut off date for DD's party this year. Come bedtime on that date, that was my number. People are rude & tbh i think some hold out in case they get a 'better offer'

Original poster
PumpkinPie2016 · 07/11/2018 19:29

Sorry to hear others have the same issue - it really is so rude!

Next year I will definitely put a clear cut off date on!

Think I will ask the teacher put a note in book bags - feel bad though as that's making extra work for her.

OP posts:
Sparkingfizzing · 07/11/2018 19:31

I wouldn't Pumpkin. It's not the teachers job really and might set a precedent of all parents asking.

Grab them.in the playground if you can and anyone else, just assume they aren't coming. Sucks though.

ForalltheSaints · 07/11/2018 19:39

Not the teacher's job I agree Sparkingfizzing, but agree with the OP that it is at best a very poor show not to respond. Sadly some people lack such consideration, just as some people are habitually late, for example.

Next time set a time for a reply, assume no reply is a no, and be firm if anyone tries to come up with an excuse for late replying.

Pissedoffdotcom · 07/11/2018 19:42

We have a class FB group which has come in particularly handy for this sort of thing. Two days before the cut off i posted up a reminder & also made the point that because i was making food boxes not a buffet, if I didn't get replies the kids wouldn't be fed if they turned up. Made a huge difference

ArnoldBee · 07/11/2018 19:43

I'm waiting for 30 replies from July...

Tiredmum100 · 07/11/2018 19:43

The same thing happened to my son. I think 8 replied to say they could come, one couldn't never heard from the other 20.

BettyOBarley · 07/11/2018 19:44

Yep, I'm in same boat. Sent out 38 invites (not expecting then all to come but DD wanted to invite some from school club, nursery etc so thought we may get about half but at least the rest would say no).

We've had 19 yes, 3 no and the other 16 haven't bothered to reply. I mean I'm more than happy with 19 but it's things like how many party bags do you do etc?! Angry
So rude!!

NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/11/2018 19:46

Maybe they only rsvp if they’re going, I know lots of people who do that.

Puddlejumps · 07/11/2018 19:50

I hate it too. Definitely recommend putting a date on the invite. Best option at Thai stage is to try and catch people at pick up/drop off, if you can. I think for a class party the teacher may not mind handing something out to all the kids. They used to at our school.

GinDoll · 07/11/2018 19:52

Four children, each has a birthday party every year, every party less than 50 percent respond. Bunch of inconsiderate, selfish morons... But what can you do other than hope their children grow up with better manners!

Sparkingfizzing · 07/11/2018 19:54

NotUmbongoUnchained - not bothering to reply because you're not going is rude. It takes 2 seconds to send a text. It's lazy and they'll find their kids won't get invited to things.

Sparkingfizzing · 07/11/2018 19:55

/\ wasn't aim at you NotUmbongoUnchained. I meant "you're not going" in a general sense. :)

PlaymobilPirate · 07/11/2018 19:59

Not the teachers job. Please don't ask her to. Shit they've not replied though

Pissedoffdotcom · 07/11/2018 19:59

Thinking about all this aggro again makes me glad DD isn't having any more parties!

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