To ask for a pick up time and expect a reasonable response

[gttia]

Exh has a court order, he point blank refuses to follow.
He does two nights a month, but regularly drops or changes these.I go with it because I can't be bothered with his silliness.
For Christmas he's already cancelled the Saturday pick up, wanting it to be Sunday at a certain time but that may change he says.
I have work, I have plans so I'd like a confirmed time not me sitting in waiting for dropping the children up to the handover place.
After asking nicely his wife I suspect, replies in French. She is not French. None of us are French

Am I being unreasonable to expect after ten years for there to be some some sort of truce. It's this sort of behaviour that baffles me so many years down the line when it is about collecting the children. A simple 4.30 would've done and if he thinks he can't manage that, pick a time he can and reply sensibly.

Have you tried just telling him the time? So for example if 4:30works for you then say they will be ready at that time? Give him maybe 7 days to tell you if that time doesn't work otherwise that's the time? Sorry not worded that well as being distracted by DS!

PS totally feel you. He sounds like a git.

If I tell him that's an absolute no go. I genuinely give up. It is to stop me going out I suspect, but I'm not going out, I'm working Christmas eve. I'm going out two days before so him having them doesn't stop that, but it does mean I can't now make plans and the children play piggy in the middle because he'll text them a time! I just expect after all these years for there to be some level of communication

The arrangements are for the benefit of the children.

Make sure all requests and answers from are through email. If he's being a shithead, refuse his request, get someone else to look after the children and let him go back to court.

Luckily it's in email already. When I got remarried four years after him he declared he never wanted to see or speak to me again....
My daughter's are actually old enough to look after themselves now, it's more the fact they are his daughter's yet he messes with seeing them, I stopped fighting him to follow the court order because in the end the girls never saw hi. after all these years is it not reasonable to just expect a polite response, and everyone drop and pick up as agreed. I very rarely disagree as I try to put the girls first so anytime would've done but he just can't be decent