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AIBU?

Bloody PTA

26 replies

allupsidedown · 07/11/2018 15:36

I help on the PTA to raise funds for our school. I want the kids to have discos and school trips and a nice learning environment. I understand that the PTA is vital for this to happen.
What I didn't contemplate was how shitty other parents are? Complaining to the school that we won't allow a child to the disco without a ticket. (No-one has ever said this would be the case but a rumour was passed on)
People moaning about various other fundraisers. You don't want to take part fine but stop fucking complaining about other people doing things.
I feel like putting out an email saying, if you are unhappy about the service provided by the PTA please feel free to volunteer and do better or shut the fuck up.
I now can't see me staying on the PTA for another year. I can see why people are put off helping in the first place.
Aibu to think these other parents are entitled twats who need reminding that the rest of us on the PTA are doing it for the kids not for them.

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TeenTimesTwo · 07/11/2018 15:40

Your title is v misleading. You mean 'Bloody Parents' not 'Bloody PTA'

What I learned over years on the PTA

  1. Grit your teeth and smile at the complainers, say 'sorry, we are doing our best but we are all volunteers'
  2. Remember for every 1 complainer there are 20-50 who are happy
  3. You are doing it for the kids not the parents.
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Mookatron · 07/11/2018 15:45

You're completely right, but I'm sure you're about to get a barrage of posts about how the PTA are a load of insular housewives thinking they're doing good.

I had somebody tell me they were at work 'actually doing something important' when I was volunteering at an event once.

But then a teacher commented that some fundraiser we did would pay for a year's worth of school trips for a few kids whose families couldn't otherwise afford it, so that kind of thing makes it worth it.

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Shivermetimbers0112 · 07/11/2018 15:48

I’m chair of Governors at a primary school. We deeply appreciate the PTA support, and the funds they generate are vital. We also have a Parent Forum, and they provide vital insight into decision making. All volunteers giving up personal time. I value constructive input from parents, but have little time for those who moan but aren’t prepared to make even the slightest contribution.

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lola006 · 07/11/2018 16:05

I’m a PTA chair. Our loudest critics are parents who have never once offered help. Our group is pretty understanding that not everyone has time to help, no issue there (as in NO judgement). But to sit at an event (say a fayre) and loudly remark on all the things you’d do differently and better as 5 of us are run off our feet is just frustrating. So I get it.

BUT...when you know it’s a tiny group of you coming together to give the children discos, books, playground equipment etc that’s a pretty great feeling. That’s what the treasurer and I tell each other termly!

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 07/11/2018 16:29

Yep, we’re a voluntary team of 5 who raise thousands of pounds for the school, in our own time, at the expense of our own children enjoying these events with us, and parents moan and whinge about PTA mums (most of whom work as well- I don’t) being busy bodies and always asking for money. Our events are professional and organised, good value, and the kids love them- yet still people moan. Anyone who complains about queues, tickets, prizes etc- well they get signposted to the clipboard with a cheerful ‘thanks so much for offering to help next time, just pop your name on the list!’ Tinkly head tilt laugh

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 07/11/2018 16:30

And there’s a special place in hell reserved for those who stand in the hall after events watching us all clear up after their children.

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mummyhaschangedhername · 07/11/2018 16:36

I'm on the PTA and a school Governor ... I feel sorry for teachers honestly as some people just like to moan. Lots of drama within the PTA, but as far as parents are concerned I just take it on the chin. It's difficult though. I have things like
Parent "your charging £2 for a glitter tattoo?"
me: "yes, glitter tattoos are £2 each"
Parent "that's ridiculously expensive isn't it?"
Me " I'll take that under advisement".

I just generally say, thank you for your feedback, and tell them the date and time of the next meeting 😂 if they say something again, I say, sorry you couldn't make the meeting. That point would be worth brining up next time, the next meeting is.

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dementedpixie · 07/11/2018 16:39

I wish we got some parental input at ours. 3 parents came to our pta meeting out of about 900 pupils. Pathetic really

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Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 07/11/2018 16:45

The only thing gnat annoys me about our PTA is the lack of notice for things. They seem to think 3 days notice for dressing up, raffle prize collections, after school events is okay and it isn't.

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allupsidedown · 07/11/2018 17:04

Yes sorry, it shouldn't be "bloody PTA" but "bloody parents"
All on our PTA work and have "real jobs" too. The arrogance of some parents about thinking it is fine to be chasing up those who haven't ordered a disco ticket. What would they like us to do - brand their kids across their forehead saying "mummy please remember £3 for my disco ticket." After 16 other fucking letters, Facebook posts, emails, twitter post, carrier bloody pigeon signals. Grrrrrr

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allupsidedown · 07/11/2018 17:05

It is better for me to vent here instead of telling those twats what I really think.

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lola006 · 07/11/2018 17:12

OP, I had a mum practically accost me at the school gate the day before an event a couple years ago demanding that I allow her precious DC to attend and that it was MY fault he hasn’t brought home the slip to be returned. Never mind it was in the newsletter twice, multiple texts went out, mentioned on fb/twitter. Slips were always available in the office. All my fault.

And I didn’t even give the mum a flat out no, I said I had to check the numbers so that we stayed within health & safety teacher-student ratios! Luckily another PTA member was standing with me so heard it all.

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CBA2RTFT · 07/11/2018 17:13

YANBU. I'm in the PTA of our small school, and most parents are fine and appreciate what the PTA do. But the occasional "oh they should have done that differently" comment is a bit annoying. All meetings are open to everyone, and there are ways of making comments and suggestions for anyone who can't make it.

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eightoclock · 07/11/2018 17:51

I think you should tell them to help out with the next event - why put put up with the ungrateful buggers moaning?

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Panicmode1 · 07/11/2018 17:54

YANBU. I always used to just smile and tell them that the next meeting was on X date, and please come along. It's almost ALWAYS the people who never, ever volunteer to help. Ever.

Grit your teeth, remember that it's all for the sake of the children!

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MishMashMosher · 07/11/2018 18:01

The problem i have with the pta is that there is constantly something they want money for. I hate having to take my kids to discos every half term. I appreciate they are raising money for the school but i'd rather give them a tenner than have to go to one more themed evening or whatever other awful thing my kids nag me to take them to. I can imagine the flaming i'll get for saying that Grin

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Chottie · 07/11/2018 18:04

This is such sad reading.

My DCs are in their 30s and 40s, I am an ex PTA member and from reading these posts it seems that nothing, absolutely nothing has changed....... :(

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Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 07/11/2018 18:06

I love PTA tropes about SAHM's who are on a power trip.

In reality, every single member of our PTA is a working parent, and none of us give a shiny shit about our imaginary status.

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CheeseCakeSunflowers · 07/11/2018 18:16

I think this is the same with any voluntary job there are always people who moan about others whilst doing nothing themselves. I try to live by the rule that if I am not prepared to do better myself then I shouldn't criticize someone who is doing more than me.

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 07/11/2018 18:26

Mishmash the great thing about PTA events are that they aren’t mandatory (at least at our school), and your child still benefits even if you don’t attend/donate/support. We never exclude children, for example if it’s bring something for tombola and wear non uniform, the children can still wear Non uniform even if they don’t donate. You don’t have to attend any discos or events. Not flaming, I understand your point and particularly this term where it’s Halloween, Christmas, raffle tickets, book fair, etc it can seem like loads of contributions. but you don’t have to do any of them if you don’t want to.

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TeenTimesTwo · 07/11/2018 18:40

mishmash Furthermore, feel free to bung a tenner in an envelope marked for PTA and give it to the school office. include a note saying that your children won't be participating in discos etc so you'd like them to have the money in lieu.

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CBA2RTFT · 07/11/2018 19:13

I hate having to take my kids to discos every half term

Isn't it lucky that you don't actually have to, then? Hmm

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allupsidedown · 07/11/2018 20:15

The attitude of Mishmash multiplied by a hundred parents is why I feel like quitting the committee. You don't have to take your kids. You can just miss things. I'm on the committee and some events we haven't gone to because of prior engagements that is fine. You don't even need to explain your reasons but you also don't need to say anything negative to people who are just helping for no personal gain. They are only helping in order to get things for their kids and your kids school.

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Quickerthanavicar · 07/11/2018 20:23

I know of a school/PTFA that offered a witness protection programme. For £200 the PTFA would not email a family for a year.
There were quite a few takers.

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Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 07/11/2018 21:12

@Quickerthanavicar I'd happily pay that!!

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