Incontinent Dog - Christmas Invitation?

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My Mum always comes to us for Christmas. She lives alone and there are no other family members that invite her, so she's been coming to us for years. It's all really nice and the kids get to see a lot of her since she stays for a couple of days, with her cute dog. But now her dog is extremely old, and has recently become incontinent. If I'm honest I would not have let the dog continue as I don't think it has the best quality of life but my mum feels that she is still sort of OK since she eats and drinks and still goes into the garden etc. She just can't seem to have any control over her bladder (or even bowels sometimes). We have carpets downstairs, I can't imagine having this dog over here now, but I know that if I say 'no dog' my mum won't come either because she'll feel guilty about leaving her beloved pet (not that she puts the dog first but that she feels it needs special care). What would you do? Put up with it and shampoo the carpet after (gross!), say 'no dog'? So difficult!

What a difficult situation! Like you, I would question the dog's quality of life.

It would be entirely reasonable to disallow the dog, but I can understand why you wouldn't want your mum to then stay at home.

Do you have a hard floor area which you could protect with newspaper and puppy pads, so you could confine the dog there if he comes? You could possibly use a safety gate depending on the dog's size and strength, which would avoid him scratching at the door (we use a normal, cheap, baby gate to keep our fairly small dog out of the cats' area).

Dog nappies are a thing aren’t they?

Puppy pads and a gate? The dog might be miserable if they're kept away from everyone but it's a difficult situation.

Can you go to your mums and take everything for dinner and cook it together?

Dog nappies for this occasion, but worth asking if your mum has taken the dog to the vets for the incontinence. Urinary incontinence so usually we’ll controlled with medication.

My dog is incontinent but tablets from the vets control it perfectly. Could she try that? Even if she can’t afford it long term, at least over Christmas.

I would.ask her to put nappies on the dog..you can even use regular nappies with a hole cut for the tail

Yep dog nappies. Can get them on eBay. They are usually for bitches in season but would work for this as well. Get some before hand so the dog has time to get used to them and doesn’t get stressed at new house, and new underwear 😁

As others have said suggest dog goes to vet for tests/meds as there are some good medications around now. I'd suggest budgeting for carpet cleaning afterwards if needed (we had a man in to do ours recently - about £100). You'll end up with superclean carpets so a bonus! Whilst the dog is with you ensure you take out into garden regularly and have bedding that can easily be washed etc. Good luck.

I have an incontinant dog, it is hard as she is only 9. She has been incontinant since she was spayed at 18 months old and up until recently it was well controlled by medication. I would suggest a vet trip to see if medication can bring it under control and if not we have dog incontinance nappies from a company called glendarcy that enable her to join us in the carpeted areas of our house in the evening. We can’t keep the nappies on her all day as it’s just not healthy for her so during the day she stays in the kitchen diner on her mesh bed what allows any urine to pass through onto a puppy pad. I wouldn’t expect to visit anyone with my dog anymore but at the same time I wouldn’t be leaving my dog alone or kenneling it on what could be its last Christmas. Only you can decide, if you Mum takes measures such as nappies, segregation and pads to protect your home would that be agreeable to the both of you.

I couldn't have an incontinent dog (or cat) in my house. I just couldn't.

I'd be saying something along the lines of, mum you know I love you and understand about Rover needing so much care but I can't deal with the mess in my house so what do you think we should do about Christmas.

A relative of mine had a very old and much loved dog in a similar situation and that's what I would have said to (it never arose as the dog couldn't cope with the car as he got older so them travelling here just wasn't an option anyway)

How far away is you mum? Could you visit her for part of the day?

Thanks all, the vet thing has already been gone into - been tested and pills tried (but they didn't work). The dog is 17 and it's just a thing it cant help anymore. Unfortunately mum's house is way to small for all of us She's only 40 mins away so visiting her for part of the day could work if we weren't already committed to driving half the day to visit my Dad and take him to see my stepmother in a home near to him (advanced Alzheimers) so we're at risk of spending the whole day on the road and not at home with the children who are still quite small. A definite situation of wanting to clone myself x 3!

The nappies sound like a good idea, I might suggest mum gives those a go (for her dog I mean!!!)

Fluffyghost the bed sounds a great idea. I managed to persuade mum to throw out the old dog bed as it was spending more time in the washing machine than out of it. I bought some quick-drying thick blankets x 4 so mum can wash them every day, but I might suggest the bed. She just wees wherever she is though, it's awful.

Wow it’s amazing that the dog has got to 17, must be well cared for ☺️

As it’s a one off, I’d allow the dog. Sadly he may not have long left and your Mum will be very attached to him. You could make sure someone takes him out every 30 mins or so while he’s there and then get the carpets cleaned after.

I have a dog who has become less able to hold his wee recently due to cancer. It is devastating. If my family (to whom we are going at christmas) said I can't bring our dog with us, I would not go and I would be massively upset. The dog is very loved, and there is no way I would leave him home alone. I love my dog far more than you love your carpet (I hope). If he week them I woukd pay to clean them. Washing powder would sort it temporarily (works on sick so why not wee?)

We have an elderly dog who is incontinet because of her age but still gets about .We did use to use dog nappies but they are expensive so we now use babies nappies
Just cut a hole for for the tail and they work perfectly and a lot cheaper.

Reading your comment about wanting to clone yourself.... can't you suggest that you go and spend time with your mum on Boxing Day or Christmas Eve instead? If the nappies etc are a problem, could you celebrate with different relatives on different days and therefore spend time with your mum and her dog at her own house when it's easier? It's just a day. Celebrating 24 hours early or late won't hurt and it might be kinder to everyone. Especially if the dog is unlikely to be here next year.

Gosh lots of lovely MNers in here, dog lovers who have given kind possible workable advice.

I'm in the other camp. It's be a No from me. I don't want an incontinent dog weeing and pooing on my carpets nor inside floors.

I would find some way instead to visit DM over the Xmas "because MrDog is so poorly now" , even if we celebrate Xmas day twice and have nanny Xmas on another day- at her home where her good girl/boy dog can be as incontinent as s/he needs to be.

I'm sure MrDog won't mind celebrating Xmas on another day if it means s/he can be at home. And I'm sure Nanny will understand. This might be the one year to change plans and to pop to DM ( Nanny)'s house Xmas if you can.

I have a friend who sells something for dogs called belly bands. She sees them herself, but I googled and it looks like they're available online. I'm not 100% sure how they work, but I know they're supposed to help with potty training and incontinence. Maybe one of those might work?

Dog wee can be got out of carpet quite easily. We had a housetraining puppy back in Feb and found the best solution to be: blotting the wee with kitchen roll, followed by pouring on some warm water and then blotting with an old towel. Repeat a few times then spray with a specific dog wee cleaner and a final blot with kitchen roll.

Invite your mum and the old dog, keep the dog in the same room as a person at all times and have a cleaning kit on standby. You can then keep up with any accidents and still have your mum to visit.

I wouldn't have an incontinent pet visit our house. It's a tough discussion to have with your mum though, but I couldn't do it, especially at Christmas with all the hustle and bustle going on. I wouldn't want dog wee/poo on my kitchen floor while I'm cooking Christmas Dinner, or in our dining room where we want to eat. Different maybe if you have a room you're not using with washable flooring.

In the summer, when you could all be sat outside, not so bad, I'd probably say yes to that.