to think in the run up to Xmas we should all try and be kinder to each other?

[DaffoDeffo]

Yet another suicide on my train line today :( and this will continue all the way up to Xmas. It always escalates at this time of year :(.

So many people find this period hard yet it's the time when a load of family fights happen, break ups go sky high etc. etc.

I know we can't moderate other people's behaviour but if we all just tried to count to ten before reacting and made an effort to be nicer (I mean in real life, rather than on here but you know what I mean!), given how many thousands of members mumsnet has, couldn't we all make a little difference to someone's life?

That's a lovely idea op, as they say a walk of a thousand miles starts with a single step. So if we all be kinder it might spread.

I'm actually really shocked that you live somewhere where people commit suicide on the tracks that is so sad.

I think it would also help if businesses, particularly the retail sector, would stop hyping up Christmas to the ridiculous levels that exist nowadays.
As soon as Hallowe'en is over, out comes the Christmas stock and on goes the Christmas music. For those who find Christmas a depressing or lonely time it must be miserable to have it shoved in your face for two months.

Also, perhaps people should focus less on expensive presents and socialising and aspiring towards the 'perfect Christmas' and actually spend more time looking out for relatives and neighbours who are lonely or isolated around Christmas time.

I mean in real life, rather than on here

I agree, OP, that's a great idea!

I would add that I don't think we should differentiate between 'on here' (or any other online platform) and 'real life'.

The internet would be a nicer place if more people remembered that there are real people behind the screen. Of course, the internet would be boring if there were no disagreements, but keeping debates healthy and steering away from personal insults, sneering and one-upmanship would help make the world a nicer place.

yes that's so true. So many people will be on their own and a lot of people go into terrible debt just to buy their children expensive presents because they don't want them to feel left out :(.

fairyliz it is awful on the railway towards christmas. The rail operators are doing their best and working with the Samaritans to try and stop people committing suicide by jumping in front of trains but it is very hard to stop completely and I guess if someone is determined, they will find a way around the barriers etc.

No thanks. I'm already too kind for my own good.

screamingvalenta you're right! Doesn't take much to be kind whether on here or in real life!

ha! how excellent namechanger. We can all learn from you then ;).

Most railway suicides (and all suicides) are in May (and maybe April)

But obviously being kind is always a good thing whatever the time of year

We should definitely try to be good people but always, not just because "it's Christmas". I don't like forced niceties and prescribed goodwill! It should be a natural and permanent thing.

I know people mean well but kindness doesn't stop suicide. We need to actively fund mental health services and state benefits.

But kindness not a bad place to start, since that’s within everyone’s means to deliver

I agree Upstart. But the Samaritans training and campaign has already brought down suicides on the railway.

And there is a campaign at the moment to just say a few words to someone if you think they are struggling....

We can't change the funding model for mental health until there's another election if we get the chance to vote in someone who is going to value those services.

And yes, I agree, niceties shouldn't be forced but crikey, it doesn't take much to stop and think before people speak at any time you're right, but I do think Xmas is an especially stressful time for a lot of people

Kindness is a step in the right direction. There's always a risk when someone suggests a 'small step' that it will be lost amid suggestions for bigger steps, but the benefit of a small step is that it's easy to take.

We can't change the funding model for mental health until there's another election if we get the chance to vote in someone who is going to value those services.
I was with you until you decided to make it political.

I also agree with the point made upthread about remembering that there are real people behind the user names on forums like this one.

I am often appalled at the nasty, vicious and hurtful comments thrown around on here, and the number of posters who gleefully join in. The poster they're ganging up on could be a very vulnerable person, or be going through a terrible time, or even just have had a really bad day.

You have no idea what damage you could be doing with your unpleasant jeering and namecallling and insults. By all means criticise the OPs view if you don't agree with it, but keep it civil and courteous.

The more you are kind and appreciate what you have the more of a permanent mindset it becomes imo. It’s something I try to do all the time and unless I have no choice then I’m kind online and in RL.

I totally agree kindness can’t replace the need for more money and resources desperately needing to go into MH care but it certainly can’t harm. And how do we know what impact it could have on a stranger? It might do nothing but we just don’t know.

Especially online you’ve no real idea as to someone’s state of mind when they post, what they’re dealing with and how fragile they might be feeling despite what and how they write. So yep, I think kindness is important.

Kindness is a hugely under-rated virtue in my opinion and one that seems slightly out of fashion.

I think that is a great idea Daffo and a very timely reminder. We should try to be kind all of the time, but it does no harm to be given a nudge to remember that for some people the increasingly dark days (as in lack of light) and pressure that comes from "Christmas" puts them in a bad place.