Lunch box police

[BackToBeingMe]

Just had a phone call from school and asked if I could go in for a chat regarding dd lunch. She is 6 and in year 2, being in key stage 1 she gets universal free school meals which she has everyday apart from Wednesday. Wednesday is always a roast and the gravy the meat is cooked in gives her an upset stomach. I am irritated as the teacher has looked in dd lunch bag this morning which I feel is out of order if I'm total honest. So the offending item which she has had the last few Wednesday's as there is 10 in a pack is a mini Pick Up Bar. Photo attached for size she has just the 1 biscuit not the 3 that is the actual serving size. Along with the pick up she has a cheese and ham mini wrap with lettuce, cucumber and red onion in, 6 cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a pot of hummus and grapes which are cut into 1/4s. I was a bit taken aback just now on the phone so didn't say much at all, now I need to know what to say at by meeting this afternoon. I would seriously think the school had more to worry about than a flamming fun size biscuit. For back ground we moved into this area recently and dd has only been at the school since the September and such rule was mentioned during induction day in July.

I would be interested to know what they give the children (who qualify for free lunches ) to eat when they had a school trip
Even in healthy schools it used to be cheap white bread and a filling of either jam or ham

Bahlsen Pick Up! Minis Milk Chocolate 10.6Gx10

Ingredients
Wheat Flour, Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Palm Oil, Cocoa Mass, Whole Milk Powder, Glucose Syrup, Skimmed Milk Powder, Clarified Butter, Raising Agents: Sodium Carbonates, Diphosphates, Salt, Emulsifier: Lecithins (Soya), Whey Products, Flavouring (Milk), Starch (Wheat), Ground Hazelnuts, Acidulants: Citric Acid, Hen's Egg Yolk Powder

Just been discussing this with my mum on the phone as she was due to collect the dc this afternoon so now obviously won't be. And I have worked out the reason I am annoyed is because they must of unwrapped her wrap as it was in tinfoil to know what was inside it and I feel that is totally over stepping the mark and I am sure she wouldn't like it if I went routing around in her sandwich before she ate it.

Give the school a call and ask them to deal with the issue over the phone.

Lunde according to website there are no current allergies in school and no banned allergens. However I know there is at least one child with allergies as it is mine and that is to honey. I have no problem following the allergy rules as I know first hand how serious it can be but according to there own literature they are not a nut free school. And they could have said no nuts, chocolate whatever it is over the phone.

I think this is why my DC's school is compulsory school dinners. I'm counting the days until DD 11 goes to secondary school. It's taken her 7 years to work out that if you mix the jacket potato with the tuna you can't taste the potato! Every 3rd Monday's a jacket potato bar, and she's never been able to stand jacket potatoes. She's always just eaten the filling and whatever veg they were serving, and she forgets to take bread for carbs. Result: one exhausted child.

My kids school have the lunch guidelines in their homework diaries- small filled roll/sandwich, fruit, yoghurts etc. they just say no pastry (eg sausage rolls), no crisps, no sweets, no fizzy drinks. They are allowed one small chocolate bar.

Your daughters lunch sounds great. I would be phoning them back to say that you don’t have the time to waste coming in, you didn’t know the policy but can they not see the irony in a small chocolate bar vs pudding.

Are you 100% sure that it is due to the contents of the lunchbox?
I use to work in a primary school office and we had a spate of lunchbox thefts. Funnily enough the culprits used to take the chocolate bar not the fruit. There was also problems with children putting other children's lunches down the toilets.

As you can imagine parents weren't best pleased when this happened, so teachers would ask them to come in to discuss it at the end of the day to reassure them that it was being dealt with.

So as the 'lady in the office' I would be asked to call parents to invite them in. As the culprits generally came from chaotic backgrounds it was all kept confidential so I wouldn't really have any more information to give parents.

Could it be something like this?

I'd be more uncomfortable with my child having a "sugar free" chocolate pudding loaded with synthetic sweeteners than a small chocolate biscuit with a couple grams of real sugar in it. We're an "everything in moderation" kind of house but tend to avoid lashings of sweeteners, e-numbers etc. I'd be pissed off if the school started teaching that sugar was "bad".

I would point out that you haven't sent in chocolate, you've sent in a chocolate flavoured biscuit in order to make a balanced meal for your child. The problem is, too many school staff think that healthy eating for a child is exactly the same as for an adult - it's not, they need fats to help their developing brain, carbs for extra energy and so on. The low fat stuff (that use sugar or sugar substitutes to replace the fat) are far more dangerous to the child than having the real stuff.

I would be tempted to go in and apologise for putting red onion into the sandwich (not quite clear if they have told you it is specifically about the biscuit) and pretend that you assumed that was the issue as people didn't want to talk to your dd if she smelt of onion (I'm sure it's not really an issue - just use it to distract from the biscuit!)

And then point out that as they were having chocolate cake and chocolate custard it is clear that they no longer have the chocolate part of the rule and therefore you didn't see the issue with her having a chocolate biscuit - moreover that you will be very cross if they have stopped her from having part of her lunch that is needed to ensure it is balanced and provides her with the energy she needs given she is underweight for her size and needs energy to help in her long term recovery from her operation...

Crazy!

Your dd can't have a tiny biscuit (as part of a lovely balanced lunch) but the other children can have chocolate cake and chocolate custard?! How does that make any sense at all?!

What a waste of everyone's time...

I like rosablue's response!

they are going to seriously damage kids if they do this! this is part of a well balanced lunch.kids are going to be more prone to eating disorder if this is the way things are.
its ridiculous and dangerous and im so angry on behalf of children.
its balance.it moderation and joy in food they should be premoting.

What a ridiculous waste of the teacher's and your time. Surely, if there's a rule re chocolate, she could just tell your daughter to bring it back home as chocolate is now allowed in packed lunches.

Honestly, the pettiness and silliness and bureaucracy around schools nowadays is depressing.

That's ridiculous, her lunch sounds fine to me.
They don't check lunches at my son's school but they do check morning snacks, they're only supposed to have fruit.

If they were opening packets and wrapped items in your dc lunch, I would also feel that is unacceptable. Did the person doing that follow safe food handling rules, clean hands, sanitary surfaces etc. Mind you I also dont feel that they have any business interferring between the parent and child unless it has become an issue for the school at large. Nanny State...

Of course, school puddings these days are as sugar-free as they can get them and taste absolutely minging. All the same, chocolate cake is chocolatey on paper if nothing else - why can't they see how contradictory they're being?

DS1 goes to a school that's mercifully free of lunchbox checks - he reports plenty of chocolate bars, chocolate biscuit bars and crisps, but tough titty - he gets his usual. In fact, it irritates me that they do sort of half-heartedly push healthy eating but every time a child has a birthday (feels like every week) they bring in mini packs of Haribo and half the school come out munching on sweets...

On a side issue, DS2, who goes to a special school, has been doing baking on fridays and all they seem to make these days is 'vegan chocolate cake' (there are allergies in the class) which comes back home and is tasteless stodge. They tried to get him to eat the 'vegan porridge' they made the other week - he refused and I had to ask them not to try again, as proper porridge, with as much milk as I can stuff in, is one of his staples and if it starts tasting funny he'll refuse ALL porridge. You'd think they'd think that sort of issue through, given it's a SS with a high number of kids with ASD...

My DD's infant school had the same rule, then the teachers regularly stuffed their faces with chocolate in front of the pupils - a very confusing message for young children. They also encouraged birthday kids to hand out Haribo sweets after school, or gave them out for no particular reason (which seemed to be nearly every day).

OP, the lunch you packed for your DD sounds great, but maybe she's eating the biscuit and not the fruit? I can't see why they couldn't discuss it on the phone though!

I’d wait and see exactly what they say at the meeting first, but certainly be ready with what you have since found out. So if it’s about the nuts, ask them where on the website it says nut free, or when you’ve been told this. If it specifically says there are no allergies, ask why your DD’s honey allergy isn’t listed. Mention today’s school pudding. And the fact the rest of the lunch seems very healthy. Plus ask why they were rifling through her lunch to begin with.

just point out that on the school dinner they're given whatever crap they're given - often have puddings/doughnuts etc

Two answers. Regarding them checking what is in the lunch box, that's totally normal and reasonable. You wouldn't believe what some children are sent to school with! (Think the remains of last night's takeaway or yesterday's sandwiches if they weren't fully eaten.) And they would know what's inside the wrap as your child would have taken a bite of it and they'd be able to see. I wouldn't argue that one, you won't win.

With regard to the chocolate biscuit, YANBU, the rest of the lunch sounds healthy and they have given children a far bigger treat on balance than you have. A treat is fine and they've escalated it massively with a phone call. Good luck fighting your corner. (Personally, I'd feel justified in being very petty, as they have been to you. Rules should be applied with a modicum of common sense.)

If the bar is the bar you packed, then it contains nuts in the ingredients which would be a huge issue in our school - we have children who are allergic to trace nuts. Just opening this bar in their presence can cause a reaction.

It’s all getting a bit ridiculous if you ask me. Last year I helped out at lunch times in my dd school. Most of the kids ate only a few mouthfuls of their school dinners and the main would get scraped into the bin, I couldn’t believe just how much went to waste but they were serving up the governments check list of appropriate foods and box ticking so that was ok! But you could guarantee at every mealtime the desserts were always polished off, chocolate puddings, corn flake cakes, ice cream mousse things etc, full fat high sugar crap. There was always a fruit option yet hardly any kids would choose those. Yet the lunch box kids always had healthy sandwiches/wraps etc, yes with a biscuit as well but it always looked very healthy and most of the children are up what they were given.
Stand your ground and point out the crap they serve as desserts!

You could just phone back and say you can’t come in. You don’t have the time to waste and you can be told in an email or on the phone

That's outrageous. What a ridiculous waste of time for everyone. My DD's school say "no fizzy drinks, no chocolate bars and no sweets" but they allow chocolate biscuits, cakes and crisps as long as it is part of a balanced lunch. DD takes in a healthy packed lunch but with one treat. Yesterday she had wotsits. Today she has 2 jaffa cakes.

YABU to still have Pick Ups left if you bought them weeks ago. We can't buy them as I can't be trusted with them.