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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My life could have been totally different today

107 replies

Sandyrain · 07/11/2018 08:04

Last night I turned my back for 2 seconds and my 2yo ran into the road. There was a small van coming down and he had to emergency break I inftont of dc.
Luckily he was turning into stop at the shop other wise things could have been very different. He was going 25mph. It's terrifying to think what could have happened. What if it was a speeding driver?
A driver not paying attention?
A larger van that didn't see dc as dc is so small?

I'm counting my blessings that she is safe and well. And how life can change in the blink of an eye.

OP posts:

formerbabe · 07/11/2018 19:05

Makes me shudder.

My ds is older but has just started to walk to school by himself occasionally...he's off to secondary next year so need to get him ready to be independent.

Road safety is my absolute greatest worry...the thought that your child could be taken from you forever in the blink of an eye from something so avoidable petrifies me.

GlassSuppers · 07/11/2018 19:10

Same things happened to me OP.

I thought DD had gone up to the house when I was getting bags out of the car. She was smaller than my car at the time and I couldn't see her, she'd actually gone around the other side of the car and toddled down my road and out on to the main road. I've never ran as fast in my life and caught her before she walked in front of a bus.
I cried about it for days.

Same DD fell down the stairs from top to bottom yesterday and doesn't even have a bruise.

I believe some force must be watching out for her.

I watch her as much as I can but always feel sick with guilt when things like this happen.

RandomLetters · 07/11/2018 19:14

When my daughter was 3 she opened the door to a toddler group we were just leaving, then as I was gathering up my youngest, she sprinted out the door and straight across a road.

Thank God nothing was coming but I think about it all the time.

Singlenotsingle · 07/11/2018 19:16

As a DGM, I won't take dgd out without reins on. I couldn't bear it if she ran away or went under a car. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Echobelly · 07/11/2018 19:21

Yeah, DD had a near miss with a van when she was 3 and I was attending to newborn DS. And DS escaped from my hand and ran back into the road at a similar age and that wasn't helped by the woman who was driving down the road yelling at me for 'not holding his hand' (I was, he just wriggled out!), but then I guess she was scared about what might have happened too.

DD also aged 4 had a seizure and fell down stairs at my mum's when she was staying there while I was out for my birthday. They'd put her under bc the seizure had gone on for a while, and we got to the hospital, having had 3 hours' sleep before my mum called, and it was another 3 hours before they brought her round. Although all the signs from scans etc seemed to be good, we knew we wouldn't really know if she was OK until she came round. Luckily she was fine, and I basically just didn't allow myself to think about her not being.

PassMeTheBleach · 07/11/2018 19:22

Something similar happened to my brother. We’re very close in age and must have been 3 or 4. Our aunt had taken us to the park on her own and we had to cross a busy A road with no pushchair. Her solution was to carry us across one at a time. She told my brother to wait for her, carried me across and as she reached the other side, turned back to see my brother stepping into the road to follow her. I still remember her dropping me to the floor and accidentally kicking me as she sprinted towards him. Thankfully the traffic stopped in time.

dontcallmelen · 07/11/2018 19:28

I’m not totally certain, but I think a Mumsnetter child died due to running into the road, she comes onto threads like this & reiterates the need for reins, I think her Dh also died a while later due to the loss of child, really sorry I can’t remember her name.
Something to be said for reins, if out walking near busy roads with an unpredictable toddler.

EmmaGeddon · 07/11/2018 19:29

My 3 yo DD disappeared on an Italian beach - she'd been digging a hole with her little sister one minute, the next, she'd gone. The life guards were brilliant, an alert went out, and 30 minutes later she was found, she'd been included in a big children's party at the next beach along - no-one there realised she wasn't one of the invited children, and she was having the best time, eating ice-cream and birthday cake. A local policeman brought her back on the front of his moped, she was wearing his hat and beaming with delight. In that half an hour, I was utterly terrified - I didn't know whether she'd drowned or been abducted. She's now 26 and I've just about managed to loosen the apron strings.

hendricksy · 07/11/2018 19:33

This happened to me a few weeks ago . A small boy literally ran in front of my car and I stopped inches from his face . Obviously I wouldn't want to hurt a child but I was thinking how my life would have changed had I hit him and had I been looking at the radio or whatever . Life is full of risks , try not to beat yourself up about it ... these parents didn't thankme but I appreciate they must have been in shock as was I a bit 😬

TeachesOfPeaches · 07/11/2018 19:43

Hendricksy I seen a toddler run into the middle of the road a few weeks ago and luckily a woman driver seen him and quickly stopped. The dad just wasn't holding his hand or really watching him. Made me very angry.

stressedtiredbuthappy · 07/11/2018 19:51

I know someone who accidentally killed their own 3yo, they didn't realise the little girl had followed them out of the house and reversed into her. I grip my child near roads , she's two sometimes use reins but more often than not the buggy even though she hates it. You really can't be too careful at this age.

stressedtiredbuthappy · 07/11/2018 19:52

Teaches I can't bear to se people who aren't holding their toddler and they are toddling behind them. Absolutely awful.

EmmaGeddon · 07/11/2018 20:18

@stressedtiredbuthappy

That made my blood run cold. Poor parent. How could you carry on after that?

SundayGirls · 07/11/2018 20:18

Moneypenny what a near miss. I should think that your DH subconsciously heard the speed of the car without seeing at and knew, subconsciously, that it was too fast an engine noise, too close to a crossing. Thank goodness you were all ok.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/11/2018 20:31

'It takes a while to stop the what ifs'

I don't think they do stop

stressedtiredbuthappy · 07/11/2018 20:44

No idea Emma, they have other children mum is a zombie at the grave every day and dad is becoming an alcoholic, in denial.

krazyinlove · 07/11/2018 20:53

When my son was a baby I was unlocking front door and he was in buggy I must of not put brake on and when I opened front door for 1/2 second the buggy rolled down the drive into main road . I ran as fast as I could ( it felt like forever but was about 1 second ) and cars were on driving down the road , a woman stopped and said I can't believe I stopped (it's a 30 mph road ) I grabbed son and quickly took him home . The whole incident was probably about 3-5 seconds but was the most horrible. I never told anyone think it's the fact something terrible could of happened that day and would of been my fault.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 07/11/2018 20:58

You're right dontcall, she was called MrsPresley. Please consider reins, a couple of disapproving looks is nothing compared to the loss of a DC.

Satchell · 07/11/2018 21:00

My DS did run in to the road at about that age, and got clipped on the side of his head by the wing mirror of a car. Awful, worst day of my life. Count my blessings every single day.

FourForYouGlenCoco · 07/11/2018 21:18

Shouldn’t have opened this thread. It’s very sobering (and bloody terrifying) to think about what could happen.
My DS went into the road not that long ago - he must have been 19 months ish, I was heavily pregnant with SPD, out the front of the house chatting to neighbour while he played, he toddled off towards the road and I wasn’t as fast I thought. He was only there for about a second before I caught up but that’s all it would have taken.
DD1 also nearly drowned a couple of years ago while I was very pregnant with DS - playing at the edge of a lake near us, I looked down, looked up and she’d gone out just that bit too far. She wasn’t making any noise at all, not splashing, she didn’t look in distress but my parent instinct kicked in and I knew she was in trouble. I ran into the lake and when I got to her she was just looking up at me with her nose and mouth under the water. Just thinking about it now makes me teary.
Luckily I’m not having any more kids, so DD2 should be safe but seriously, I am now super cautious around roads and water in particular.
And now off to give them an extra squeeze; they’re so precious and vulnerable. Being a parent is scary

HildaZelda · 07/11/2018 21:22

When I was in my final year of school one of my classmates little sister was killed when another of our classmates hit her with a car.

A complete freak accident. It was a Sunday morning in a small village and the driver in question was going very slowly as there was a strictly enforced speed limit in the village.
Unfortunately it was early in the morning and nobody realised that there had been an oil spill on the road during the night. The car skidded and went straight into a couple of children. The others were okay but that little girl (8) was killed on impact.

The driver of the car was at the little girl's funeral and I can remember her crying hysterically. She said she could never forgive herself even though it really wasn't her fault, just a freak thing :(

Narnia72 · 07/11/2018 21:46

My dad killed a little girl in these exact circumstances, it was 50 years ago and he's never forgotten it or forgiven himself. A 5 year old girl had an argument with her mum and pulled away from her and dashed into the road. Dad was doing 20, but she hit the car really awkwardly. The mum later wrote to him to say he couldn't have done anything to prevent it, and she didn't hold him responsible, which was very lovely and generous of her. It had a massive impact on him for a long time and it's absolutely coloured his life.

Woohoo1 · 07/11/2018 21:52

My DS nearly choked when he was 2, a relative had to tip him upside down a wack his back until the food dislodged. I count my blessings

Ceilingrose · 07/11/2018 21:57

Years ago I let go of my pram to shut the door properly. Two seconds later and the pram had rolled down the path, bumped down the low step and tipped upside down into the busy road. Luckily for me some workers opposite ran across the road and scooped my newish baby up and dusted him down, to the sound of my screaming. He was fine, but it was a horrific experience and I've never forgotten it.

Ghostonthedancefloor · 07/11/2018 21:57

DD 18 months choked on a sweet a few weeks ago. Like really choked. No noise. Face getting gradually more and more blue then eventually purple. I was absolutely hysterical but first aid trained DH grabbed her off me and performed the manoeuvre on her. He saved her life. I still get teary thinking of it.

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