AIBU, friend turns up sick?

[Blueberry001]

We host a weekly night at ours to watch a film, it’s weekly rota’d between us to choose - like a book club for films. There’s 5 of us but I usually host as I am central point for everyone’s office after work and walking distance.

This week one of our friends turned up full of infection, assuming a chest infection as he would not stop coughing and snorting. I’m sympathetic to sickness, it happens however in this situation I would think don’t come as I only have a small living room (it’s a 2 bed flat with a combined kitchen/diner/living space) as everyone else may catch it also will slow recovery time down if you are not in bed resting?

He’s arrived this evening, and I noticed he was unwell so offered hot tea and any medication (usual lemsip whatever) and he said no he was fine. As the night went on it was very clear he wa poorly but didn’t want to miss out so to speak.

I’ve now caused offence because after the numerous coughing I’ve said I think you need to go home and rest to get better! Which has proceeded to a fraught conversation that he is fine and is happy to be here and why I am bothered? Which escalated to the fact I only care about my job?

Now I feel super guilty but also that I’ve done nothing wrong either? If I was poorly I would cancel the night? AIBU?

[7yo7yo]

Did he go? What a fool.
What did the other members of the group say?

[Blueberry001]

7yo

No he didn’t until about 15 mins ago! So stayed the whole film and left all his tissues on the side :(

[Aeroflotgirl]

I hate people like that, so selfish with no thought to anyone else but themselves.

[AnonyMousee]

He is unreasonable.

Can't stand when people knowingly spread their germs in avoidable situations. He could have skipped 1 bloody film night, I'm sure he wouldn't have missed out on the gossip of the century.

[Blueberry001]

It wasn’t even a good film either! He made me feel so guilty though like all I care about is my own health and not his!

I do care which is why I think you should be at home! I don’t know if it’s because I provide snacks and wine, and he wants to be involved in the chit chat (4 girls and him) or what?! But he called me self involved which I was really upset about!

[Alfie190]

I don't think I would have asked somebody to leave my house, however his response is not on.

[7yo7yo]

What have the other girls said?
So you asked him to leave and he still stayed? Self absorbed twat.

[Witchesbritches]

He’s rude & selfish, he wouldn't be setting foot in my house again.

[AcrossthePond55]

He shouldn't have come but I expect I'd have been too cowardly to ask him to leave.

I'd buy a few barrier masks and some hand sanitizer and if he does it again pointedly hand them to him. Oh, and only allow him to use disposable cups, plates, and utensils. He'll get the message.

[ChasedByBees]

Disgusting to leave his tissues for you to clear away. Really disrespectful.

[ClemDanFango]

Why he does he get to care about only his own health and no one else’s and then accuse you of being selfish? Don’t invite him back he’s a dick.

[hottestsausage]

So selfish.

It's the same in my office, people turn up coughing and barking when they could work from home if they're well enough to or take a couple of days off sick if they're that poorly.

Instead they drag themselves in, spread their germs around and some of us (me included) invariably catch it and get really poorly. YADNBU.

[JeanPagett]

I do think think turning up ill and possibly infecting other people is rude, but equally actually asking a friend to leave your house feels pretty rude to me too. Possibly I'm just jealous of your balls!

[halfwitpicker]

Self involved? You invited him round to yours and waited on him hand and foot?

[Getonthatbroomandfly]

I had a chest infection for 12 weeks last year. I would rest then go to Drs who was so unsympathetic and would tell me that if she stayed off work for every cough and cold she'd never be at work. Some people are very get up and get on with it. I want to be a stay in bed until I've recovered but society judges so much for it!

[StoppinBy]

Coming over sick is terrible, I wouldn't do it and if people tell me they are sick I tell them to come another time.

There are enough opportunities to catch germs without people purposefully bringing them to your house. I too would tell them to go home (nicely but firmly).

[BarMcBarsen]

Meh. It's much harder to catch a cold than you think it is. Even simply swapping saliva while kissing wont do it. You'd have had to ingest his mucus

You'll be fine
amp.theguardian.com/society/2005/feb/15/health.medicineandhealth2

[Weezol]

He doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. He left all his used tissues behind too? Nice.

He wouldn't be welcome back to mine tbh.

[Miscible]

I'd absolutely hate having to listen to someone coughing and snorting all through a film anyway. In your shoes, I suspect I'd have felt forced to develop a diplomatic headache as an excuse to go and hide in my bedroom.