AIBU not to send save-the-dates?

[frecklefox]

We're getting married in August 2019. AIBU just to send invitations and no save-the-dates beforehand? Has anyone found save-the-dates to be useful or helpful?

I don't think so. I think save the dates are sent because couples haven't finalised all the details and timings yet. If you already know, you may as well just send the full invites

Just tell people the date early (and/or send invites) as August can get busy with holidays and other weddings. Get your date in their first!

We sent save the dates are we’re getting married over a bank holiday and a lots of guests will have to travel if they choose to come (because they live abroad, not because we’re holding the wedding far away). We wanted to give people as much notice as possible. Now we’re closer to the time we’ll be able to send invites with more details.

Save the dates are sent a year before so you're a bit late op also getting married in August! Haven't done save the date

We sent save the dates as we had the church booked but not the reception and it was during the summer holidays. Up to you but I think they helped us - people avoided those dates when booking holidays in Oct/Nov of the precious year.

I just told people by text/in conversation when we'd decided a date, didn't send one. I've had quite a lot of save the dates and none have been useful and people have still just told me the date!

Very useful if people are travelling, especially in the summer. Think of it this way: if you don’t send save the dates would you be gutted if you send your invitations and some people turned down because they’d booked holidays or confirmed other weddings?

Thanks everyone, think I'll just stick to sending the invitations straight out, we've already got our venue and timings sorted

We found save the dates useful, but we got married in Christmas week, so it was handy to be able to let people know quite far in advance so people didn’t make other plans. But if there wasn’t a specific reason to let people know so far ahead, then keeping it simple would have been my preferred option.
Congratulations!

We sent save the dates because I work in the NHS as do most of my friends and we need months in advance to request the time off.

Do key people know the date you've chosen for your wedding? I've already booked and paid for my August 19 holiday. So if an invitation came for mid August then I won't be able to attend. As long as the people you really want to come know in advance then save the dates aren't really essential.

I don't see the point in save the dates. Just make sure the really important people know the date and send the invitations 4 months before to give people plenty of notice.

I wouldn't bother with STDs (snigger snigger), but I think the old etiquette of sending 8-12 weeks beforehand is bollocks tbh.

5-6 months beforehand is standard in all the weddings I've attended, and if I hadn't had an invite by then I may we'll get booked up with something else.

Thanks everyone, I figured people might get booked up with the summer holidays so was thinking of sending invitations out in the next few weeks. Great to know the general consensus is I can skip a step which I wasn't sure about anyway!

To be honest, from what I read on here and other forums, a lot of folk will be pissed with a bride and groom, whatever they do

I get sick to fucking death of reading wedding bashing threads

Do whatever you want, but if i had my time again, I would have eloped - and saved everyone the bitching

I ignore save the dates. They weren't around in my day and I refuse to block a weekend months in advance just in case I get an invitation, given that some people don't invite everyone they warn off.

I am also so old fashioned that I consider a wedding invitation received more than about 6-8 weeks before the wedding date to be premature.

Who doesn’t invite someone after giving a save the date. That’s incredibly bad manners.

Who doesn’t invite someone after giving a save the date. That’s incredibly bad manners.

Well judging by some threads in Classics some people have thought this was ok (it really isn’t)!