to ask how you reward kind hands?

[cjt110]

We've had some issues since Sept when DS started school with not using kind hands. One day this resulted in him being in time out 3 times AND losing his break time for pushing, hitting and snatching.

We are 100% behind the discipline given by school and on the last occassion (towards the end of last term) spoke to DS and really reinforced why we use kind hands and how by not using them it upsets people etc. The next 3 days he came home with kind hands stickers from the teachers and we ended on a high note.

I suppose I anticipated it might slip after half term but no, 2 days into term and he's come home with 2 stickers in a row.

I made him a kind hands certificate last term and he's been sticking his stickers onto it.

It seems measly though - he's doing great and I want him to see how well he is doing. So, how do you reward kind hands?

If the sticker chart and praise is working, you don’t need a bigger reward. It’s sometimes surprising how little stuff children need to reinforce good behaviour.

Just keep on praising it, mainly.

Tie it to positive experiences e.g. if the dog is letting them stroke her, then pointing out it is because she trusts her to be kind.

You could get a little toy for getting a number of days of kind hands stickers.

What does he want? My ds would always want lego tbh. Did school suggest the 'kind hands' thing? I'm not really a fan but if it's working for your ds then crack on!

It seems measly though - he's doing great and I want him to see how well he is doing

Maybe you could introduce some sort of bigger reward for reaching bigger milestones? So, for example, if 2 weeks have passed with no unwanted behaviour or a month, you could treat him to something you feel would be appropriate? That way, you don't have to buy something daily but it also feels like a big achievement to have done something for a long time?

I'm not sure if be looking for a bigger reward than what you're already doing tbh - praising etc. It's just the accepted standard of behaviour isn't it?

I think stickers and certificate are plenty, as a PP said, its expected not to hit, punch etc. so I wouldn’t be going overboard in giving massive treats. Just reinforce good behaviour with verbal praise and tell him you’re proud of him for changing his behaviour.

InDubiousBattle Yes they did, and ironically, I too was dubious! But he skips in with delight saying how he got a stocker for having kind hands - he even went back in the classroom yesterday at home time because he'd forgotten it.

We have used a treasure system with him recently with regards to staying in bed or playing quiet until the sun comes on on his groclock (6.30) and he was told if he got 5 he would get a treat. He did and we went swimming.

JockTamsonsBairns Yes, that too.