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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for not wanting this house?

78 replies

Linok · 06/11/2018 14:52

We are looking at houses to buy. We are very specific on the area due to the school for our children ( they are already at school, we just don't want to be too far from it ). As we are so specific we have a very limited choice.

The house came up for sale which is almost perfect, well within our price range and have a potential.

I have done some research and found out that the immediate neighbour was found guilty of having indicident images and now is on the sex offender list. I am now adamant to this house and don't want to even think of it, my OH thinks I am unreasonable and we should really consider it.

AIBU to stick to my guns and reject this house?

OP posts:
Mountainsided · 06/11/2018 16:19

@lilybetsy

I am now adamant to this house

pedant alert

This is not English. You may be trying to say " I am adamant that this house is not suitable"

Well aren’t you fucking delightful? I’m guessing English isn’t the OPs first language, and so what if it was? Alot of times my quick replying comes out as rubbish.

I thought I had better reformat my reply properly to appease you.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/11/2018 16:19

I don't understand how you would know it was certainly this person. I am also amazed that you know so much about this neighbour, when buying a house we researched the area, the house and the amenities nearby nothing about the neighbours came up at any time.

If you love the house and your area is so very small then I would buy it. How would you feel if you passed it by and found out he moved in a few months?

RomanyRoots · 06/11/2018 16:25

I wouldn't want my child going to a school with a paedo living near, either.
I guess we don't always know and if you hadn't looked you wouldn't know either. But as you do know, you can't not see it now.
Are you sure it's the same person.
They move on again when people start to know they live there. Vigilantes and such like, soon move them on.

Veganfortheanimals · 06/11/2018 16:25

Wherever you live you can't guarantee neighbors,anyone having committed a crime / been in prison / drug dealer/ dodgy etc could move in.you can't control who lives next door to you..so I would buy the house.at least you know ,so can be aware .ive no idea about who my neighbors are ,so I'm careful making sure my children are safe ,as you do.

makingmiracles · 06/11/2018 16:26

NFW! Would you ever feel comfortable with your kids in the garden? Would they ever want to have a paddling/swimming pool in the garden and therefore be running around in next to nothing? Sunbathing?

Nope, I couldn’t do it knowing there was a sex offender living next door and I found you found out the info easily, then if you ever wanted to sell and he still lived there it would probably devalue your house and make it hard/impossible to sell.

CoolCarrie · 06/11/2018 16:31

I think you should wait and find somewhere else, that is what I would do in your shoes.
As pp said there is a difference in knowing this about him, and not knowing, this will always be in the back of your mind which will make relaxing in your home very difficult.

Rachelover40 · 06/11/2018 16:39

I don't think you would be happy in this particular house op, knowing what you know about the neighbour. Most neighbours try to be a bit friendly to new people and you would not want to be and wouldn't be able to hide it. It would be a stressful situation for you no matter how hard you tried to protect your children.

There will another house just as good, don't put yourself through unnecessary worry and just wait a bit.

MadeForThis · 06/11/2018 16:42

No don't.

You don't know who he could associate with. He could bring any type of dangerous peado into the neighbourhood.

If you do buy it. Let him know straight away that you know his history.

EssEssDeeDee · 06/11/2018 16:42

I'd buy the house, then make it clear to Mr P. Doe that you know about him. With any luck he will move out pronto. Then you have your ideal house, with the ex-offender moved off to become someone else's problem.

Trethew · 06/11/2018 16:43

In haste and haven’t read TFT carefully but sex offenders frequently move away to an area where they are not known. Are you sure the offender still lives next door?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 06/11/2018 16:45

Once I knew, I wouldn’t be able to get over it I don’t think.
That being said, I didn’t look into that at all when looking at houses any of the times we’ve moved.

WTBE · 06/11/2018 16:51

Nope. Regardless of whether we are around paedophiles unknowingly makes no difference to me. The fact you know makes it that easier to keep away. Imagine moving in you either have to be civil with him or completely ignore him (as most likely would) doesn't make for a happy home life imo.

Also other people's children who visit you, I know I would want to know!

Celebelly · 06/11/2018 16:54

No, I wouldn't knowingly move in there with children. While it's true that anyone could be living next door/down the road to you, in this case you know that someone who is attracted to children and has acted on it (at least in the form of downloading images and enabling child abuse) is living there. I'm usually quite a relaxed person about most things, but this would be a hard pass for me.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/11/2018 16:59

in this case you know that someone who is attracted to children and has acted on it...is living there

But she doesn't know that, only the people involved would know this for certain. The OP has come to the conclusion this person is the person convicted, just because she is 100% sure doesn't make it a fact.

Original poster
Linok · 06/11/2018 17:13

@HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone , this person's children go to the school with mine, I never knew the person in person, only visually. I now know the name and the past address, it is very easy to do a google search for name+address, this situation has come up in the search. All within the said school catchment area, I doubt it very much that there is another person living on the old street with the same name. The new address is not mentioned anywhere but I saw this person leaving the house when we did a viewing, since then I was made clear that the person resides in the house full time.

OP posts:
Walkingdeadfangirl · 06/11/2018 17:14

It wouldn't stop me buying the house if it was exactly what I wanted. I would want to know more, is their any suggestion he physically/sexually assaulted any girls? Did he create or pay for any images to be created? What ages, how many and how horrific where the images he was caught with.

Unless there was some actual risk to your children other than a neighbour looking out the window, when they were playing in the garden, then its not a risk.

Any house you buy could have a neighbour who has looked at indecent images of children on the internet and you wouldn't know. Unfortunately it seems to be everywhere now. I would say your children are safer with a short walk to school, and having financially secure parents.

Original poster
Linok · 06/11/2018 17:16

The thing is we live a 5 minutes walk from this person, and buying in the area doesn't bother me but living next do is.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 06/11/2018 17:20

Do the children still live with this person?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/11/2018 17:24

So this person was apparently found guilty and put on the sex offenders register yet he still lives in the same area and has his children live with him? Surely he would be moved away from the area and he would pose a risk to his children?

caringcarer · 06/11/2018 17:25

No house is worth exposing your children to potential danger for. I am surprised your dh would even consider it knowing what you do.

Nicknacky · 06/11/2018 17:28

head Who do you think would move him away?

And SS will have been involved and his risk to his children along with other agencies. It’s not automatic that he will not be allowed contact or to live with them.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 06/11/2018 17:28

I'd want to get on with my neighbours, but there's no way I'd want to befriend someone like that.

Bugjune · 06/11/2018 17:37

Not a chance.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 06/11/2018 17:39

He can't be considered much of a risk if the authorities still allow him to be living with his children.

Miscible · 06/11/2018 17:40

I'd suggest you make a Sarah's Law request before making any final decisions - www.met.police.uk/rqo/request/ri/request-information/sofd/child-sex-offender-data-sarahs-law/