My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Asking for the list for presents and then ignoring the list (lighthearted)

22 replies

divadee · 06/11/2018 13:15

I know some on here will see this as grabby...... but it is meant to be lighthearted.

I have numerous family members (mainly inlaws) who start pestering for the kids Christmas list in about September. Not a problem I get it to them as soon as possible. Then i would say 99% of the time get nothing off the list or nothing that is even close to the list for the presents.

The pestering will be weekly until October. Why bother asking if you don't want to get anything off the list anyway? I make sure it has a very wide range of things, starting from £2 up to about £30. They mainly hover around the £10-15 mark which as they tell me is well within budget. We then end up with about £50 worth of stuff from one person (hence me saying I know £10 is within budget!) that the kids aren't interested in and they have to feign excitement.

OP posts:
Report
foxychicken · 06/11/2018 13:21

Ha ha - we get this every year!! Either that or my DM and/or DMIL giving me money directly & 'asking' me to do their shopping for them (they're both retired).

My DD gets a bit upset when asked what she wants 'I just want someone to go into a shop and buy me something they think I might like, I don't care how much they spend' Sad

Report
Alfie190 · 06/11/2018 13:37

I don’t like lists. I don’t have children but I was one once and have never done a list. I was also taught that I should be grateful for any wedding present “even if i got three toasters” (I remember my mother saying that) and I have always been grateful for any present I have ever received. I care about the thought.

I think sending lists around to relatives is very rude. But I also dont know why they asked.

Report
LucieMorningstar · 06/11/2018 13:37

My BILs wife used to do this. I gave ideas and she’d always (no exaggeration) get the cheapest T-shirt in Asda for them. In the end I just stopped with suggestions and said clothes! I now also send cheap clothes for her kids.

Report
divadee · 06/11/2018 13:46

*Alfie190 that's fine if you don't like lists. I assume you wouldn't ask for a list in that scenario? Its the weekly pestering that gets me asking for the list and then they don't get things even similar to it. Just go off and get whatever you would like and stop pestering me for a bloody list that you obviously don't read anyway lol.

OP posts:
Report
ChocolateTearDrops · 06/11/2018 13:52

My mother would ask me what I would like then when I replied, (about 10 seconds later) would sniff and say, I've already bought for you.

Why ask then? Confused

Report
strumpetblowingatrumpet · 06/11/2018 13:55

I have the exact same thing with my in-laws. Ds now has 3 scooters (2 from them).

Report
girlsyearapart · 06/11/2018 13:56

Yep the ILs do this every year..
Massively pestering for lists.
Ok yes they want ‘xyz ( smallish) thing’
Xmas day ILs rock up with a ginormous bag for each child (4) not including the xyz thing and then come over and turn their noses up at the mess..
We have nowhere to put it all. Argh

Report
Birdsgottafly · 06/11/2018 13:59

We've stopped doing Adult presents because of this. We just get a load of shit of my Sister, whilst she gets £100 perfume/vouchers etc (combined gift).

Everything she gets my GC ends up in the bin, or given away, which I don't think is OK. Either you love the children and want to get them something they'd love, or gift buying is all about you. In which case just fuck off.

Report
planechocolate · 06/11/2018 14:02

Yep, been in this situation too. Close friend would always pester and pester and ask for a specific item to buy. So I'd tell her one thing off the dc's lists that they particularly wanted, and she'd say she'd get that. Lo and behold on Christmas day, nope. Something else entirely and dc disappointed that they didn't get one of the things they asked for.
It happened two years running, and after that I would give her a random thing to buy instead. Still didn't get that either, but at least dc weren't disappointed.

Report
wink1970 · 06/11/2018 14:07

I'm an in-law and I love lists! I already 'bagsied' DGD and DGS's larger requests and then I make up stockings from things I think they will like (I am lucky enough to see them often, so get a good idea I think).

I also give lists if asked, for me & DH, but agree you don't always get what's on them. I hate this part, as I am fortunate enough to be able just buy things I want when I want them, so we end up trying to think of things we wouldnt have thought of natuarally (iyswim). First world problems, I know.

Report
SaucyJack · 06/11/2018 14:23

Are they the older generation?

I’m just wondering if it’s a question of perceived value. Toys seem pretty bloody expensive these days, and if they don’t understand the current must-haves like LOL dolls or fingerlings or whatevs, maybe they genuinely think they’re getting something so much better for their money that what appears to be a small piece of plastic.

Report
Drummingisfun · 06/11/2018 14:32

My sister does this. Asks what my kids want, I tell her something specific at our normal budget. She then goes and gets a super cheap tacky version of said item. Last year the present was already broken by boxing day because the quality was awful.

People are currently asking what both my DC want. Ds only wants 2 things which cost pence, and dd has no idea what she wants (only 2!). I am clueless what to get them myself so failing a bit on ideas for others at the moment.

Report
TheWiseWomansFear · 06/11/2018 19:31

I love a list. It annoys me that PIL want to know what I would like 3 months before Christmas, but without a fault they always buy exactly what I ask for - they like a link too.
It would be upsetting to think you're getting something you would like and then receiving something similar or not at all the same.

Report
Soubriquet · 06/11/2018 19:38

I never understand this

My Nan has asked for a list for my dc

She had lost the list...instead of asking for a new one, she said she will just go to the shop and guess....

Why ask for the list in the first place?!

Report
Ninoo25 · 06/11/2018 20:28

Haha my in laws do this, but they tell me they’re buying a specific thing off the list that they’ve asked for and then buying something totally random instead. They even ask for links to amazon etc so they get the exact thing the kids have asked for and then buy something completely different anyway 😳

Report
DanglyBangly · 06/11/2018 20:35

In my family it goes like this:

‘Need ideas for presents please!’

‘Here’s a list’

‘I don’t want to get any of those things’

‘No problem, get what you like’

‘I don’t know what they like’

‘Here’s a list’

‘I don’t like anything on the list’

Repeat ad nauseum until I lose my mind.

Report
BreadAndButterDreamer · 06/11/2018 20:40

I had this recently! MIL told me to write a list of what all the family can buy for little one. I gave a few suggestions to which MIL told me she’s already bought his presents then other family members saying they’d just give money as it’s easier!

Report
BreadAndButterDreamer · 06/11/2018 20:42

My sister asked what to get little one so I gave her a few (cheap) suggestions and I said to just pick one. She chose what she was going to buy, made a big song and dance about it, then a few days later told me she was buying something completely different (none of which is suggested). Really don’t understand why people ask for ideas then don’t bother!

Report
Soubriquet · 06/11/2018 20:46

I hate it when they say they will buy specific item.

You know your child wants it. Relative says they will buy it. So you think sorted

Comes Christmas Day, and they have either bought a cheap crappy version that breaks almost immediately, or something else entirely.

If you don’t want to buy it, don’t!! Just tell me so I can buy it
Instead

Report
checkingforballoons · 06/11/2018 20:48

Ha, yes to this.
‘Here’s the list you asked for with 30 different sorts of things ranging from £1-£40 that DS would really enjoy’

‘Oh you’ve bought him
£50 worth of Poundland colouring books and a hat three sizes too small. Thanks so much!’

Report
AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 06/11/2018 21:14

I dont know

we always ask for our neices and nephews, as we genuinely do want to get something asked for..and always stick to the list - as we want them to love it and be happy

It does piss me off though when you realise you have spent £100 on a present (and every other family member has) but the parents have spent a tenner, and have used the fucking list to get the stuff their kids really want...

this year wil be different, a tenner is what they are getting

Report
User97532468 · 06/11/2018 21:55

Have the same here too. I’ve stopped giving ideas to said culprits after dc didn’t get what they really really wanted off Father Christmas (we would have got it ourselves instead). Also we give all our ideas away so we struggle to think of things then they don’t get the ideas we’d suggested.

Some family members found out I had a Christmas shopping day off recently and they’ve given me money to do theirs for my DC. Very frustrating as I’ll now do theirs as a priority as I can’t seem to say no.

Report

Newsletters you might like

Discover Exclusive Savings!

Sign up to our Money Saver newsletter now and receive exclusive deals and hot tips on where to find the biggest online bargains, tailored just for Mumsnetters.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Parent-Approved Gems Await!

Subscribe to our weekly Swears By newsletter and receive handpicked recommendations for parents, by parents, every Sunday.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.