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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sending your kids to school

60 replies

Fatasfook · 06/11/2018 12:23

If they have a bug. Why the fuck do people do this. Surely if your kid is obviously ill with a bug you keep them at home?

OP posts:
Loobrushesarefuckingrank · 06/11/2018 13:22
  • wrong not world
halcyondays · 06/11/2018 13:24

What annoys me is that our school has a policy about sending home if they see nits but they never seem to mention the 48 hour rule.

Queenofthestress · 06/11/2018 13:26

Temperature or D&V or hacking cough = instant off
Anything else? Damn right he's going in

WhereToLiveNow · 06/11/2018 13:27

This reply has been withdrawn

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bobstersmum · 06/11/2018 13:27

I totally agree! I said to dh that I might ask at the school office why they think they know more than the NHS, but it will definitely be about attendance. I knew my ds would be ill at the weekend because it's going around in his class, and he always has his fingers in his mouth. Going to be a long winter!

IllegalAlien · 06/11/2018 13:42

I think this is actually largely the fault of the schools/LEAs/national policies.
There is MASSIVE pressure from schools to get kids' attendance up. At our kids' schools, they get certificates and prizes for attendance. I've heard of people being TOLD to "give them calpol and send them in".

Topseyt · 06/11/2018 13:46

If you mean a sickness bug then of course kids should be kept at home. Likewise with things like chickenpox, tonsillitis etc.

If mine just had a minor cold with no detectable fever and were seemingly well in themselves then they were sent in.

CandyCreeper · 06/11/2018 13:48

I had to send my dd in today despite her having a bug. sometimes there is no choice.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 06/11/2018 13:50

It's not entirely the school's fault as an individual unit. It's the fault of Government and LA's stipulating that schools attendance figures must improve. Never mind that unwell children don't learn, or that the risk of other children being made unwell (which results in a cycle of more children needing time off), you need to reach your 97%!

You also have far more parents working than in previous generations, so when bugs occur someone has to take time off and phone in - I know first hand how difficult it is trying to juggle unwell children with a job. You also have more Grandparents working til later in life, so they're less able to help out on sick days than in previous generations.

I teach reception and a couple of years ago 19 out of the 28 children in my class were off over a week or so with a d&v bug as it swept through the school. It was madness because we'd have children coming in saying "I was sick last night" but being sent in because parents couldn't take time off and didn't want to risk their DC's attendance figures.

IllegalAlien · 06/11/2018 16:09

I agree it's not individual schools, Idontbelieveinthemoon. However, whole schools generally emphasise attendance to this extent, I don't think we can blame parents for trying to toe the line.

Gotofriggingsleep · 06/11/2018 19:47

We are actively told that it's better to send the children in dosed up on Calpol then the school will send them home if they 'need to.' After they failed to notice my poor child develop a temperature of 103 (she was hospitalised with Croup that evening) I now ignore that policy Confused

Loobrushesarefuckingrank · 06/11/2018 20:24

WhereToLiveNow

Sorry to hear that your child is immune compromised.

Damn right I will report inconsiderate parents. Every. Single. Time.

Only about sickness and diarrhoea though as my DS once had three weeks off school and blue lighted to hospital due to some inconsiderate cunt not following the 48 hour rule.

Thankfully our school is shit hot on it and so when I hear x and y was sick last night but in school today; fucking right I will tell the school. Usually the teacher, head, admin staff. It depends who I see. The parents need to follow the fucking rules. End of.

Other people's parenting can be so fucking ignorant and inconsiderate and i am no means perfect but things like this really make me mad.

Loobrushesarefuckingrank · 06/11/2018 20:26

In answer to your question Wheretolivenow regarding whether the school do anything about it, yes they do.
No one wants a sickness bug spreading round a school and parents are always usually to blame with this and their selfish parenting.

theWarOnPeace · 06/11/2018 20:36

First day back after summer a kid in my son’s class shit his pants while sitting on the carpet waiting to be called out at pick up time. Obviously really felt for him, all dreadful and obviously he really wasn’t feeling good at all so I told my son to sit on the bench while I helped the other mum with her baby so she could see to the boy. My older son had a PE kit in his bag too, so offered that over as better than nothing. So anyway all of this and I’m feeling like yeah this is the right thing to do, help her out, poor mum, poor kid, what a disaster and all that. So once he’s all cleaned up and changed into the PE kit and we’ve found a bag to put the shitty stuff in and I’ve handed back he baby, she says “I’m not surprised I suppose cos he had D&V all last night and all day yesterday”. I was like errr are you fucking serious? We have an immunocompromised child in our class PLUS she doesn’t work and many other parents do so no reason to not keep him home. Poor kid must have not only felt awful all day, but crapped himself in front of a load of six year olds!

Loobrushesarefuckingrank · 07/11/2018 04:57

thewaronpeace

That's absolutely disgusting. What an inconsiderate selfish piece of shit sending a child unwell to school like that.

And on the first day of term as well.

Just 😳😳😳😳

Tink2007 · 07/11/2018 05:17

One the children in reception was walking in at the same time as me and DD2 yesterday and I heard her mum say “She has a temperature but I sent her in as I didn’t want her to miss the school photos today” Confused

xJessica · 07/11/2018 10:21

My friend was about to send her DS in with the sickness bug a couple of weeks ago. He was sick on the Thurs and Friday and off with it being half term. Sick on the Saturday, OK on the Sunday but sick at teatime. My friend said he had just eaten too much and would be fine for school!! I said she couldn't send him, the school is reallg strict on the 48 hour thing, and rightly so, and it would have been massively unfair to others to send him. She did keep him off and he was sick again next morning. It wasn't a childcare issue as she was off work those days anyway.

tillytrotter21 · 07/11/2018 10:33

clearly the answer is going to be childcare. I seriously doubt people want to send their kid into school sick

It's not the school's responsibility to provide child care, that's your problem, yours is the arrogant attitude that ensures that bugs go through schools like wildfire.

Beeblot · 07/11/2018 11:15

Agree with many PPs here. School is not childcare, FFS! I know it's bloody hard juggling sick kids and work because I have done it myself. Colds are one thing ... of course I'd send my kid to school ... but more serious bugs and especially D&V... I follow the 48-hour rule to the letter. I just wish everyone else did. I don't care what your work situation is - knowingly sending a sick and contagious child to school is just monumentally fucking selfish.

Pikehau · 07/11/2018 11:19

I have started a thread about nursery regarding this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3416815-To-be-annoyed-at-nursery

as i stated in my last post. peole continue to baffle me - why send a V&D infectious child in.

Yes mine are at home and i follow the rules. YANBU to be pissed off.

Pikehau · 07/11/2018 11:23

theWarOnPeace

No words No words

I feel so so sorry for him. You knwo I can still remember the name of the boy in P1 who had an accident. Of course as i was 5 (i am now 37) i will never know if it was illness or not but i feel sorry for the boy in your sons class.

MoominMamaBear · 07/11/2018 12:03

A boy in my DS’s class was sent in, clearly unwell, with a temperature and a terrible hacking cough. A few days later, my DS ended up in A&E on a neubuliser in respiratory distress. 2 days after that, DS’s best friend was sent by ambulance to hospital, also in respiratory distress. Then my 18 month old also ended up in A&E, guess what, in respiratory distress. All could have been avoided if the sick child had been kept at home.
It also drives me mad when you hear parents saying “Oh, they stopped throwing up at 9pm, so they should be fine today...”
When DS was in Reception last year, they were dropping like flies with a vomiting bug.

Pikehau · 07/11/2018 12:08

i know this is utopian but if everyone got on board with guidlines for a certain period of time - wouldnt that just benefit us all. sigh.

MoominMamaBear · 07/11/2018 12:08

Mind you, it makes me laugh, we just got sent a list of conditions where it’s apparently acceptable to dose your child up with Calpol and send them to school. Send them in with Glandular Fever? I couldn’t get out of bed when I had it! Never been so ill in my life!

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