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AIBU?

To think my family are making me worse?

15 replies

tinatt · 06/11/2018 12:20

I'm depressed and my anxiety is out of control.
I can't sleep and so many physical symptoms.
The only family I have is my dad and I'm looking for support and all he says is I'm making him unhappy and I've ruined Christmas by being this way.
This is obviously making me feel more hopeless and useless and I need him to be there for me.
Not say I'm making him unhappy and he has no interest in anything because of me.
I can't take any more.

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ClarabellaCTL · 06/11/2018 12:25

OP I'm really sorry you are feeling like this. Your Dad shouldn't have said that to you. Have you sought help for your depression and anxiety? I think you must go to your doctor urgently. Maybe your Dad is feeling like he doesn't know what he can do to help you? x

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hazell42 · 06/11/2018 12:40

Please see your gp. I'm sorry you are feeling low. Unfortunately, though not reasonable, it is unwise to expect other people to have regard for your mental health and moderate their behaviour accordingly.
Some people are too selfish, too inconsiderate or too wrapped up in their own problems to do this.
No one will put you first until you do. Please seek help.
Best wishes.

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Alfie190 · 06/11/2018 12:42

Your dad probably does not know what to do. Parents do not know everything.

You need some support, can you try getting some professional support via your GP. Or maybe call the samaritans for somebody to talk to straight away.

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Gatehouse77 · 06/11/2018 12:45

It sounds like you are having a really tough time at the moment. Might be worth speaking to either of these organisations.

Samaritans will offer to listen but do not give advice. They will talk through options.
www.samaritans.org

MIND is more specific and you may find useful information on their website as well as a helpline.
www.mind.org.uk

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redexpat · 06/11/2018 12:52

Oh dear that is really unhelpful and incredibly hurtful. So you know you cant get support from him. Do you have any good friends you can turn to?

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Biddie191 · 06/11/2018 13:06

You need to speak to someone - Samaritans or GP are a good first port of call. It sounds like your father may have some issues of his own, and because of that isn't being at all supportive. Don't let this make you feel worse though - look after yourself, and don't be too hard on yourself

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tinatt · 06/11/2018 13:07

I'm seeing a mental health nurse weekly.
Only had 2 sessions so I guess I can't expect miracles.
At the minute my mindset is things will never get better.

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FissionChips · 06/11/2018 13:10

Do you have medication?

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tinatt · 06/11/2018 13:18

No I started sertraline but it made me feel awful

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FissionChips · 06/11/2018 13:22

Antidepressants do often make you feel awful for a couple of weeks, it’s somthing you have to push through.

Have you spoken to your MH nurse about trying a different medication? A lot of people who have anxiety as their main symptom find that citalopram works well.

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gamerchick · 06/11/2018 13:28

Then you need to try another one.... Then another one until you find one that works.

What does help look like to you? What is it you exactly want from your dad?. Sometimes even parents just dont know what to do.

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tinatt · 06/11/2018 13:38

Its not so much "help" that I want from my dad ...it's just him not making me feel worse by saying I'm to blame for him being unhappy.
I can't stand anymore guilt tbh

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CSIblonde · 06/11/2018 13:49

Your Dad isn't very supportive. (& Xmas is weeks away FGS). You need different meds. Sertraline works for me but you might be better on Citalopram or something else, they all take 3weeks to kick in tho. Depression & anxiety are debilitating but it can get better IME. The book CBT for Dummies (Amazon 4.99)will give you coping strategies for anxiety and help with your negative thoughts & catastrophising. It really helped me feel calmer & more positive that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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dangermouseisace · 06/11/2018 14:08

Your dad is being a twat.

I think you need to find other sources of support, as your dad is worse than useless in that respect. The organisations mentioned are good. There is a mental health board on here. There is also Elefriends which is on Minds website and is online peer support.

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Bombardier25966 · 06/11/2018 14:16

Are you getting any social care support for your grandma?

You're under so much stress caring for her, it's understandable that you're struggling.

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