Showing anger. Is this ok?

[smilingelizabeth]

I'd like to get some views please on my dp and his possible anger issues. We've been together 3 years and don't live together, both have kids with previous partners (one of mine is especially difficult and has been diagnosed with adhd and autism) and spend most weekends together.

A few things have happened lately to make me feel a bit unsure about our relationship:

1. We had an argument about the way he handled an argument/ fight between 2 kids (one mine and one his.) and during the argument I expressed an opinion about his ds. (He has also expressed the same opinion at times too) He got really annoyed and left the house with his kids without saying goodbye.

1. He gets road rage and is always shouting and swearing at other drivers. He's not leaning out the window swearing just loudly in the car.

1. He's quite a critical parent. He doesn't praise much but does seem to nit pick a bit at times. He also shouts quite a lot.

1. He feels I'm not strict enough and will step in and discipline my kids quite often more angrily than I would do. He has now agreed not to do this.

Are these worrying signs or am I just having a panic over nothing? I'm pretty stressed out at the moment anyway and I'm wondering if I'm over reacting?

Would really appreciate any advice.

Number 4 would worry me. I can kind of understand the need for an united front in 1; 2 is not ideal but if he's just swearing to himself, I guess he isn't hurting anyone; 3 is shit too.

Other than the road rage I don't think they are signs of an aggression management problem (one of my areas of professional expertise), you do seem like you have different beliefs and values about family life and parenting, and a communication issue between you though.

Thank you for the replies.
I agree that the him stepping in and being more strict and shouty is not ok. I have asked him not to try to parent my children when I am around and can do it myself. I only agreed this with him a few days ago so it has yet to be tested.

I am worried we have different parenting styles and thus has only become apparent more recently. I know one of his parents was similar and he had told me it made his childhood miserable. He doesn't seem to see it in himself though.

I've been on loads of courses about parenting and read a lot as before my ds was diagnosed I was convinced I was a terrible parent. I still lack confidence at times but overall I try to be positive, non shouty and do natural consequences to behaviour issues.

I'm now wondering how we address the issue of parenting styles? Anyone else have similar to deal with?